Young Love Lost & Found

Two years ago I lost a friend because of something I said.

Janie and I grew up together, she living two doors down from me.  We went to preschool, kindergarten, and all the way through sixth grade together.  My other friends thought it was weird that I had a friend who was a girl, but I never saw her as a girl, just a friend.  But all that changed on my twelfth birthday.

I had invited all my friends from the neighborhood to my twelfth birthday party, which Mom set up in our backyard.  The patio was decorated with balloons and streamers, a long table was set up with the usual party stuff, and a side table was piled high with presents.  I remember that Janie’s hair was down instead of up in her usual ponytail, and she was dressed in a pink pleated skirt which struck me as odd since she usually wore jeans or shorts.

After the games and cake, it was time to open my presents.  Janie’s present was on the bottom, and it was the last one I opened.  The wrapping paper had red hearts all over it.  I suppose that should have been my first clue.  What I unwrapped caused a collective groan from all my friends.  I looked up at Janie.  She had an anxious look on her face.  I looked back down at her present, which was a stuffed cupid doll complete with bow and arrow.  All the guys started giggling and making kissy noises.  My face turned beet red.  I looked up at Janie and said “Uh, Janie, what is this?”  Disappointment and embarrassment fell over her face, and she ran back through the house and out the front door.

That was the last time I spoke with her, two years ago.  Oh, I’ve seen her at school and on the bus, but she doesn’t talk to me anymore.  She barely even looks at me, and occasionally when I have caught her eye she quickly looks away.  I hate it when that happens, ‘cause it makes me so sad.  I miss her a lot although I’d be the last one to admit it.

Now I sit with my family at the dinner table, and Mom, our family’s official party planner, is laying out her plans for my 14th birthday party.  It was great when I was little, but now it seems so…well… lame. 

She’s says “So, Benjamin, I’ve invited all your friends this year, and so far everyone has said they can come.”

With a sense of trepidation I ask “Uh, Mom, who-all did you invite?”

Well, there’s Billy, Jimmy, David, Stevie, Rob, and , let’s see, hmmm, I can’t remember all the names right now.  But I did invite that nice girl Janie from down the block you used to play with so often.”

“Uh, Janie?  Janie’s coming to my party?”

“Why yes, and she seemed so excited to be invited.”

“Uh, Mom…. Did you sign my name to the invitations like you usual do?”

“Well of course dear”.

A sinking feeling settles in the pit of my stomach.  Now I know why Janie smiled at me today.  And I hadn’t even known why.  One thing is certain though – I don’t feel the same way about Janie as I used to.  But just how do I feel about her?

*******

Party time has finally arrived, and my friends troop back to our patio loaded with presents.  Janie is the last one to arrive, and she sure looks pretty. I smile and quietly hand her an envelope as she comes in the door.  On the front it says “Read Me When You Get Home!”

During the party she sends curious glances my way.  My guy friends play it cool for a change.  They remember what happened two years ago and how unhappy I was later.  When I get around to opening Janie’s present, the guys all crowd around wondering if we’re in for a repeat performance. But Janie’s present to me is a cool web camera setup that only gets excited “that’s cool” type comments.  I notice that there’s an envelope taped to the back of the box, but I say nothing to the guys and set it down on the pile with the envelope side down.

I say “That’s really neat, Janie, thanks a lot!”

She says “Yeah, I got one just like it for my last birthday, and I just love it.  But you need a fast internet connection for it to work.  Do you have that?”

“Yeah, my Dad installed a cable connection last year.  It should work great.”

The party finally wraps up around nine, and Janie gives me a tentative hug as she leaves.  That draws stares from the other guys as they leave, but I’m oblivious to them.

After they all leave, I run back out to the patio and rip open Janie’s note.  It reads:

Dear Benny,

I hope we can put the past behind us and move on.  I was embarrassed and mad at you for a long time, but I really miss having you for a friend.  I hope you like this web cam.  I would be happy to help you set it up.  Maybe we can use them to chat!

Your friend,  Janie

I would never admit to this my guy friends, but I haven’t been this happy in a long time.

And my note to her?  Well that’s private!  Suffice it to say that she’s coming over next week to help me set up the camera.  Oh, I could do it myself, but what fun would that be?