Fake Jokes With Myra And Billy

A little game played with Summer... who's she again? on January 2, 2009...

Want to play fake joke?

How do you play that?

First one of us gives a setup line and sends it and also does a punchline, but doesn't send it yet. Then the other one receives the setup and writes the middle of the joke. Then the one that did the setup, when they receive the middle, immediately sends the prewritten punchline. Then we both laugh. Simple, eh?

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A goldfish and a guppy walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "What will be your pleasure today?"

The bartender says, Yes, we serve grubs. Although I have to say I've never seen a grub with fins."

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Next one...

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A girl was wondering why her boyfriend didn't call her so she sent him an email...

However at the time his wireless connection was on the funk, so he was camping instead.

She said, "But you never told me you didn't like pumpernickle bread!!"

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A divorced woman was flying into New York...

The pilot came on the intercom and said, "I'm sorry ladies and gentlemen, but there is a loose snake on board the plane. Please step carefully." Everyone looked around nervously. Suddenly a shout was heard.

"I thought you said buy in!" said the stockbroker, who promptly jumped off the plane.

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After their ship sank, three tourists were left clinging to a life raft in a shark-infested ocean.

"Oh no!" one guy said, "my wife is still on that ship!

The next time I'll be sure I have a jar of mayonnaise with me."

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A man is away on a business trip.

When he gets to his hotel he realizes he has forgotten his briefcase, so he calls home and asks his wife if he left it there.

His mother in law says, "Oh, and by the way your wife is on the roof."

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Myra didn't do her homework, so on the way to class she asked Billy if she could copy his homework paper.

Billy said, "Sure Myra, but whatever you do, don't press the blue button."

Myra said, "I wouldn't do that if you were the last boy on earth."

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An elf and a wheelbarrow collided in the woods.

"What do you think I am?" said the wheelbarrow.

And the elf snapped, "Well, at least I don't carry 'round dirt all day!"

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Myra and Billy went to the movies.

Myra said, Could you pass me the popcorn?"

Billy said, "We could always change to different seats."

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A man drives into a car wash.

He is surprised to see that a donkey, a giraffe, and a good-looking girl are washing the cars. He asks the girl, "Hey! What's with the weird assortment of workers here?"

"But I forgot my car!" the man says.

Um.. yes... heh heh... funny... very good... right...

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Myra and Billy were going to the movies when they saw a man run out of a car wash with a giraffe chasing him.

Myra said, "Hot dog! What is going on over there?"

Billy said, "I hope we didn't miss the cartoon."

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Let's do some Myra and Billy jokes. Whenever it's your turn you say what Myra said (unless it's the set-up) and I'll say what Billy said.

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Myra and Billy were sitting by the pool when a manatee came out.

Billy said, "Gee, that manatee looks just like your Aunt Bertha."

Myra said, "That's the strangest looking lifeguard I have ever seen."

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Billy and Myra were sitting in class when Myra realized she had forgotten her pencil.

Billy said, "Myra! You would lose your head if it wasn't fastened on! Now where is the last place you can remember having that pencil?"

Myra said, "Not THAT kind of pencil!!"

The imagination runs wild.

Somebody stop that imagination! [offscreen gunshot heard]

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Myra and Billy were sitting in front of the fireplace drinking hot cocoa and gazing at the flames.

Myra said, "Is it just me or is the fireplace burning up?"

Billy said, "I see a boy and a girl who love each other very much."

Myra said, "There's no such thing as a sentimental joke. Punchline postponed."

Billy said, "But Myra, what do you expect me to think when you're guzzling up all my cocoa and soaking up all the heat from my fireplace?"

Myra said, "YOU'RE the one who invited me over for cocoa and a sit by the fireplace."

Billy said, "You didn't have to say yes. Look... I don't want to argue with you. I'm sorry if this isn't as much fun as you expected. But look at it this way... It's cold and snowing outside and I've hidden your mittens and boots. So I guess you will be staying for a while. Why don't we play a little game of Fake Joke? You like that one, don't you?"

Myra said, "Billy, I hate to break it to you, but we ARE a game of Fake Joke. I've always known this, the way that I've always been able to see dead people and move things with my mind."

Billy stood up. His face was pale. "Wh- what are you saying? We're just pawns in some madwoman's silly game?"

Myrna took a breath. "Actually, Billy, there are two of them in it. A girl and a man. I--I can't see their faces--it's not clear--"

Billy backed away from Myra. Why did he always end up with the strange ones? "Uh... so you can almost see their faces, eh? Are they some of those dead people that you can see? Can you move them with your mind?"

In response, Myra gently poured him another cup of cocoa, without so much as moving a finger.

"Holy Crap!" Billy said. His eyes were big as saucers.

Myra shrugged and let Billy have the next IM.

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[Finally! A new set-up. I thought you were NEVER going to let that joke finish! ]

Myra and Billy were at their favorite bulk shopping shop. Myra noticed something odd.

"Billy," she asked, "why is there a mammoth running down the speedway with half an antler and the entire spring collection of Louis Vuitton sitting on its back?"

Billy said, "If only carrots could talk..."

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Thank you, Summer... who's she again? , for being a super creative friendly writer person.


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More....
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Myra and Billy went to an amusement park to ride on some rides.
Myra said, "Billy, do you have change?"
Billy said, "You should have sat in it the other way round!"

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Myra and Billy were walking to school when a drunkard sprawled out in front of them.
Billy said, "Look at that, Myra. That man is totally useless to society. He's a burden, perhaps even a danger if he tries to drive an automobile."
Myra said, "I think he dropped his beer."

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Myra and Billy got on a bus.
Myra said, "Billy, where are we going?"
The bus driver said, "That's enough of that kind of thing, kids. I think you two better get out and walk."

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Myra and Billy are looking for Billy's dog.
Billy says, "Uh oh. Here's a little patch of fur caught on a fence.. and look over there! Is that blood?"
Myra says, "I said HOTDOG, not that other thing!"

That was probably the most disturbing Myra and Billy we have ever done. ] ...
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Myra and Billy went to see a psychiatrist because Myra thought that Billy had been acting strangely.
Myra said, to the receptionist, "This is my boyfriend, Billy. I think he has a problem."
The psychiatrist said, "It's okay to do that as long as you don't do it in public."

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Myra and Billy were going out for a walk when Myra sneezed.
Billy said, "Normally I say 'God Bless You!' when someone sneezes, but in your case, Myra, I'm almost afraid to say anything because your conversation has become so weird lately."
Myra said, "God Bless You? Are you a saint now?"

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Myra and Billy were talking about Myra's confusion and memory problems.
Myra said, "Billy, I have no confusion and memory problems... Wait, what were we talking about again? I SEE DEAD PEOPLE!"
Billy said, "For goodness sakes, Myra! That's the fifth time today!"

Ooooo, made sense! Always remarkable.
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Myra and Billy were standing at the edge of a cliff.
Billy fell over the edge and managed to grab hold of a tree root but now he was hanging with his feet and legs dangling freely. "Help me, Myra!" he said. "I can't hold on much longer!"
Myra said, "Jump? From here? Are you crazy?"
Billy said, "Myra! Please! At least TRY to help me! If I die who will do Fake Jokes with you?"
Myra grabbed Billy's hands and attempted to pull him back up to the cliff but...
she realized it wouldn't be very funny that way. Better just to let him fall. Later in the video she could add a cool sound effect. maybe this time YouTube would reward her with more than 17 views.

Alright, alright, I'll do a new set-up. *grumble*
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Myra and Billy were trying on each other's clothes.
Myra said, "Don't we have anything better to do?"
Oops! Forgot to do a punchline. Let's try that again...

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Myra and Billy were sitting on the front porch drinking Banana Smoothies.
Myra says, "I'm not exactly sure that you made them right..."
Billy said, "Myra! You shouldn't talk about bananas that way!"

Myra has a strange strange mind.

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Billy and Myra were building a sandcastle on the beach.
Billy built 7 towers and 2 gates and a long wall, then he dug a moat around the castle. He looked over at Myra.
Myra said, "Actually that's a sandcastle."
Billy said, "Duh!"

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Myra and Billy were helping each other do their school homework.
Myra said, "Billy, ten times ten is not 1010!"
Billy said, "I don't see why we need a pair of scissors for that."
Myra said, "I'm not the only one who has a weekend date with the psychologist.

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Myra and Billy were watching TV together when the set switched itself off.
Billy said, "Okay, either someone installed an automatic shut-off timer on that TV set or we have a serious poltergeist problem here."
Myra said, "YOU'RE the one who's sitting on the remote!"

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Myra and Billy decided to write a story together about a girl who fell in love with a squirrel.
Myra said, "I wonder what Fake Joke this will turn out as..."
Billy said, "That's good! And then the squirrel says, 'Nuts to you!'"

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