Alice's Return to Wonderland

A year had past since Alice had been to Wonderland. Although she knew it was all a silly dream she still thought about it everyday. She didn’t really tell anyone of it because she thought that everyone would have just laughed.
But Alice didn’t really have time to think about Wonderland. Right now she was having to sit through a boring church service performed by Reverend Andrews. Although she was still religious she just sometimes wished that these Sunday services didn’t last as long as they did.
It was a beautiful day outside and there was nothing more Alice wanted to do then just go out and enjoy herself. But she wasn’t going anywhere until this service was over. She even fell asleep but her sister nudged her awake again.
“Alice please pay some attention,” said Alice’s Sister.
“I’m sorry,” replied Alice. “But this is so boring.”
“Do you want to get into heaven?”
“I do of course. Its just that they could make these services a little more exciting.” She folded her arms in boredom.
“Well these services aren’t here to entertain us. They are to teach us about the works of God and Jesus Christ.”
“I know but I learn that in school as well.”
“There are things here that you can’t learn in school. Besides this service isn’t going to last much longer.”
Alice had to endure the rest of the service. It seemed to last a lifetime but she was thankful for when it was finished. No sooner had it finished she went outside to enjoy the fresh air.
It was this time every week that she was allowed to go to the fields and enjoy herself a little. She would just walk around the fields and watch nature go by. She would sometimes see white rabbits and she would think about the one she met in Wonderland. But she would just dismiss it from her mind and she just continued to look around. But she looked up and saw a dark cloud not too far away.
“Looks like rain,” she said.
She then looked towards a tree and she saw a large rabbit hole. She thought about it for a moment.
“Well there’s no harm in looking.”
Alice then quickly went to the hole and crawled into it. She continued to think about her dream of Wonderland. She didn’t expect to find anything in there besides a few rabbits. But she was suddenly surprised to feel herself falling.
Once again while Alice fell she saw things around her. These included maps, furniture and even some food. She fell for what seemed to be miles before she finally reached the bottom. Throughout the fall she had been speechless since she recognised everything that she saw.
But on hitting the bottom she did feel some minor pain. She quickly stood up and she remembered something. She pinched her arm again and she looked at some writing on the wall. She could read it although the sentence didn’t make any sense. It was just random words thrown together.
“Wait a minute I can read that and I felt pain,” said Alice. “I can’t possible be dreaming. Which means.”
She quickly ran down the long doorway and she opened the door at the end only to find another door. This happened a few times before she finally got to the large room with a single small door and a glass table. She quickly went to the door and he looked up at her and smiled.
“Alice you’re back,” he said. “And my how you’ve grown.”
“You’re the door to Wonderland right?” replied Alice.
“That I am.”
“But Wonderland was just a silly dream.”
“Well it looks real enough to me. Maybe you should pay Wonderland a visit. I’m sure there are people and animals there that would love to see you again.”
“But what about the Queen? Does she still want my head?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Then it would be nice to see everyone again. Even though a couple of them were stark raving mad.”
“All of them.”
“Yes all of them.”
“Well right now there’s still one problem.”
“I’m dreaming again aren’t I?”
“You’re not dreaming. But you’re still much too big to fit into Wonderland. Just drink the bottle on the table. And this time don’t forget the key.”
“Alright.”
Alice then picked up the key and unlocked the door. She then put it back onto the table and she picked up the bottle and she began to drink out of it. The door then remembered something important.
“Alice be careful that potion is stronger then the one you drank the first time you came here,” said the Door.
“What?” replied Alice.
But it was too late she had already drunk a quarter of the bottle. She felt herself rapidly shrink. In seconds she had gone from being normal size to the size of an ant. She looked at the now seemingly gigantic door. All he could do was chuckle.
“I guess you had a little too much,” said the Door.
“You think,” replied Alice.
“Don’t worry there’s still a biscuit there for you to eat to make you larger again. You’ll be Wonderland size in no time.”
Alice saw the biscuit not too far away from her. But to her it was the size of a house. To be cautious she took a nibble on the biscuit. She shot up a little. But the door was still huge compared to her.
“Take another bite my dear,” said the Door.
“I’m only having a small one,” replied Alice. “The last thing I want to do is become giant.”
She took another nibble and she grew again. This time she stopped when she was tall enough to enter Wonderland. She seemed to be happy this time and she looked towards the door.
“Good now you’re not too big and you’re not too small,” said the Door. “Now you can go into Wonderland.”
“Good,” replied Alice.
She then opened the door and she entered Wonderland. She found herself a field. At first she thought that she was back home. But then she felt something in her pockets and she put her hands in them. She picked out two pieces of mushroom. She remembered about the mushrooms when she was here last time.
“The mushrooms,” she said. “But how did these get in here?”
“That’s the magic,” replied a familiar voice.
Alice looked towards a tree and she saw the Cheshire Cat. He was still grinning at her and she seemed to be happy to see him.
“Cheshire Cat,” said Alice.
“In the flesh,” replied the Cheshire Cat. “I must warn you about those mushrooms. Never eat one of them whole.”
“What would happen?”
“You’d either grow as tall as a mountain or shrink smaller then the pollen in flowers. I’d advise you to only eat them whole if you’re tiny and you want to be a giant or when you’re a giant and want to be tiny. But how would I know I’m only a cat.”
“But if I eat one whole then I can’t use it again.”
“Well when you eat one whole then it’ll magically appear back in your pocket. A great thing Wonderland is for you.”
“But this time it’s all real.”
“Of course. Just come back here to the door at anytime to leave. Everyone here has missed you so very much.”
“They have?”
“Of course they did.”
“Cheshire!” shouted a Voice.
The Cheshire Cat literally turned white and then he began to shake in fear. Alice was a little concerned about him.
“If she asks you didn’t see me,” said the Cheshire cat.
“If who asks?” replied Alice.
But it was too late. The Cheshire Cat had already disappeared into thin air. Alice could hear someone and she saw a woman. At first she didn’t look like a woman she looked almost like a man wearing a dress.
“My dear have you seen the Cheshire Cat?” asked the woman.
Alice went to tell her that she had in fact seen him. But she remembered what the Cheshire Cat had told her.
“I’m afraid I haven’t seen him Miss…” replied Alice.
“The Duchess. And you must be Alice?”
“You know me?”
“Everyone in Wonderland knows you my dear. Perhaps you can help me find my Cheshire Cat.”
“I’ll keep an eye out for him if you want.”
“I would like that.” She then cleared her throat. “Since you’re doing me a favour I’ll do you one. Come to my house for some soup. You look starving.”
“That would be lovely.”
“Good I think the chef has nearly finished making it.”
The Duchess began to walk away and Alice followed her. They didn’t have to walk very far until they eventually reached a small house. The Duchess opened the door and they both went inside.
But no sooner had she gotten inside Alice began to sneeze. It wasn’t because she was catching a cold but the fact that there was pepper everywhere. The chef was constantly putting pepper into the soup. She sneezed once more.
“There is far too much pepper in that soup,” said Alice.
“MORE PEPPER!” shouted the Chef.
“Maybe less pepper is more appropriate.”
“NEED MORE PEPPER!”
Just then Alice began to hear the cry of a baby. She looked a crib and she saw a baby lying there crying his eyes out. Alice went over to him and tried to give him a pleasant smile.
“Don’t cry little baby,” said Alice.
“He can cry if he wants to,” replied the Duchess.
“But you can’t just leave him there.”
“I certainly can. He’ll just cry himself to sleep in a little while.”
“That’s not a good thing to do. My mother told me that babies need to be taken care of thoroughly.”
“Well this one is fine by himself.”
“I beg to differ Duchess.” She then sneezed again. “I definitely think that there’s too much pepper in here. I can hardly breathe.”
“You get use to it my dear.”
Alice was very concerned about the baby. The only humane thing she could think about doing was taking the baby away and maybe giving it to someone who could take care of it. But like the Duchess everyone else in Wonderland was mad. She couldn’t really think of anyone she could give him to. But that didn’t stop her from picking him up and running out of the house.
Alice just ran away from the house with the baby in her arms. She expected the Duchess to chase after her. But she was surprised to see that she wasn’t being followed. But a small part of her didn’t think that the Duchess would chase her.
But along the way Alice could hear the baby grunting. It wasn’t much at first but then it began to get louder.
“You shouldn’t grunt like that,” said Alice. “You’re starting to sound like a pig.” She then looked at the baby and she was surprised to see that she was now holding a pig in baby clothes. “You have turned into a pig. Well I better let you go.” She then put the pig on the ground and it began to walk away. “He would have made an ugly child. On the other hand he became a handsome pig.”
Alice decided to see if she could see anyone else she had met in Wonderland the previous year. At first she didn’t think she’d find anyone until she entered a wood. She then began to hear a whistling sound. It had a very high pitch and she could hear singing. As she walked further she saw a familiar house with a large garden. In the garden she saw a large table set up with teapots.
Then suddenly almost out of no where the Mad Hatter and the March Hare jumped in front of her. She jumped with surprise and she almost fell over.
“Careful my dear,” said the Mad Hatter. “That ground is very dirty you know.” He then chuckled a little.
“Hey it’s Alice,” replied the March Hare.
“Someone said you were dead.”
“I’m very much alive thank you,” replied Alice.
“I can see that my dear.” He then put his hand on her forehead and he began to put his finger on his own head.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m reading your mind.”
“What for?”
“Wait or it I’m picking up something.” He stayed like this for a few seconds. “Wait for it.” A few seconds past. “Wait for it.”
By now Alice had gotten impatient. She was about to put his hand away when he finally spoke up a little more.
“I’ve got it,” said the Mad Hatter.
“What?” replied Alice.
“Today is your unbirthday.”
“Well I guess it is.”
“IT IS!” shouted both the Mad Hatter and the March Hare. They then both grabbed one of Alice’s arms and they began to pull her towards the table. “A very happy unbirthday to you.”
“To me?” replied Alice.
“To you.”
“Now have a seat my dear, and make your wish come true,” said the Mad Hatter.
By then they had made their way to the table and Alice was now sitting at the table. It had happened so fast that she couldn’t stop herself.
“Have some tea,” said the March Hare pouring a cup of tea.
“Yes please. And hopefully I can have some unlike last time.”
“Didn’t you have some last time? I could have sworn you did.”
“I assure you I didn’t.”
“You did I can specifically remember you drinking an entire cup of tea. Then eating the cup.”
“I did no such thing.”
“That was me,” replied the Mad Hatter.
“So it was.”
“Good now just remember not to say the C word while you’re here Alice.”
“What’s the C word?”
“Cat.”
Just then the dormouse jumped out of a teapot and he began to run around in hysterics. He was constantly shouting out the word CAT!
“Someone grab him!” shouted the March Hare.
All three of them tried to grab the little dormouse. But it was extremely difficult since he was small and very fast. Eventually Alice put a tea cup right in front of where he was going to run and he went into it.
“I’ve got him,” said Alice.
“Put the jam on him,” replied the Mad Hatter.
Alice was quickly passed the jam and she put a little on the dormouse. This calmed him down and he went back into his teapot and fell asleep.
“Good show Alice,” said the Mad Hatter. “Now just remember to not mention the C word under any circumstances.”
“But what if the Cheshire…” replied Alice.
“Especially if the Cheshire Cat comes!”
But the Dormouse jumped out of his teapot once more hysterically shouting CAT out. This made Alice annoyed since the Mad Hatter had set the Dormouse off again. She was just able to grab the Dormouse as he ran past her.
“Cat, Cat, CAT!” shouted the Dormouse.
“There are none of those here,” replied Alice. “Now please calm down.”
“CAT CAT CAT!”
Alice picked up the jam once more and she put a little on the Dormouse’s nose. He then began to calm down. He was soon back asleep and Alice put him back in his teapot. Everyone gave out a sigh of relief.
“Thankfully this won’t happen again,” said Alice.
“Oh it’ll happen again,” replied the March Hare. “When it’ll happen is a completely different question. And on the subject of that! And now to do something completely different.”
He then pulled out a mallet and smashed one of the teapots. This made Alice jump but the Mad Hatter just sat there. He began to laugh his head off and his head fell off. This made Alice scream.
“Is he?” asked Alice.
“No he’s not dead,” replied the March Hare. “His head is always falling off. Don’t worry about a thing.”
“But how can he live without a head.”
“Simple my dear,” replied the Mad Hatter. His body then picked up his head and put it back on his shoulders. But it was facing the wrong way. “Other way.” His body then twisted his head back into the right place. “That’s better.”
“How come your head keeps falling off?” asked Alice.
“Well it all began a long time ago in a land around the corner from here. I was having to perform for the Queen of Hearts.”
In the flashback the Mad Hatter was in front of a crowd of several hundred people. On a balcony the Queen of Hearts was watching him along with the King. He was a little nervous but he soon had a cup of tea and he was ready.
“Twinkle, Twinkle Little Bat,” sang the Mad Hatter. “How I wonder what you’re at. Up above the World you fly. Like a tea tray in the sky. Twinkle, Twinkle Little Bat. How I wonder what you’re at.”
The Queen surprisingly stood up from where she was sitting. She seemed to be very angry and the Mad Hatter was afraid. She slammed her fist onto the railing of the balcony.
“You were suppose to recite Old Father William,” said the Queen of Hearts.
“Well I did think about reciting that poem,” replied the Mad Hatter.
“OFF WITH HIS HEAD!”
Several of the Queen’s guards grabbed the Mad Hatter and they took him away. He gulped as he was taken to the Executioner. He was forced to remove his hat but he preferred to keep it on.
“Any last words before I chop your head off?” asked the Executioner.
“Yes is it your unbirthday?” replied the Mad Hatter.
“Why yes it is.”
“It is!” He then jumped up. “A very happy unbirthday .”
“To me?”
“To you.” He then revealed a cake from his hat. “Now blow the candles out and make your wish come true.”
The Executioner then blew out the candles and the cake exploded into his face. The Mad Hatter didn’t have time to run. The guards grabbed him and put him on the block. The now angry Executioner chopped off his head and it rolled on the ground.
“This is an experience,” said the Mad Hatter.
“Ok now you’re free to go,” replied the Executioner.
“Oh thank you.” His body then stood up. “Ok now pick me up.” His body then began to try and find his head. “A little more to the right.” The body went left. “No your other right.”
Eventually his body found his head and it didn’t hesitate to put his head back on. He was then released since technically he had served his sentence.
The flashback finishes and Alice is stunned by this. She never imagined that the Mad Hatter could survive something like that. She took a quick sip of tea and was waiting for some more to the story. But there wasn’t anything else.
“Didn’t that kill you?” asked Alice.
“Oh no,” replied the Mad Hatter. “No one dies in Wonderland.” He then picked up a teapot and smashed it over the head of the March Hare.
“But we can still feel pain,” said the March Hare.
“Goodness,” replied Alice.
Just then the Mad Hatter’s watch went off and he took it out of his pocket and looked at it. He sighed a little.
“Why is every single watch I see two days slow?” asked the Mad Hatter.
“I told you that you’re two days fast,” replied the March Hare.
“Why have you not informed me of this?”
“I told you yesterday and the day before that, and the day before that, and the day before that.” Thirty minutes later. “And the day, and the day before that.”
“What about the day before that?”
“No that was the first time I told you.”
“Oh right. Now my dear.” They looked to see that Alice had fallen asleep. The Mad Hatter got up from his seat and he had a horn with him. He went close to Alice and then he played the loudest note he knew. This made Alice jump from her seat and she landed hard on the ground. “Got you.”
“That wasn’t very nice,” replied Alice.
“Neither was falling asleep at the table.”
“I’m sorry I guessed I just dozed off.” She then stood back up to her feet and brushed some of the dirt off of her dress.
“Well you should be.”
“Anyway I bets be going now. I’ve enjoyed your little story and I’ve finally had some of your tea.”
“Did you like it?” asked the Mad Hatter.
“Yes it was very nice.”
“It’s my own secret recipe.”
“Goodbye Mr. Hatter.” She then looked towards the March Hare. “Goodbye Mr. Hare.”
“Bye Alice,” replied the March Hare.
Alice then began to walk away from the house and she was wondering if she would see anyone else she met last time. She was about to put her foot down on the ground when she heard a voice.
“Be careful young lady,” it said.
Alice quickly looked down and saw the Caterpillar sitting on his mushroom. She was thankful that she hadn’t of accidentally stepped on him. She got down to her knees and smiled at him.
“Hello Caterpillar,” said Alice. “Are you alright?”
“Not really,” replied the Caterpillar. He then smoked on his pipe a little. “Not only have I become a Caterpillar again I’ve almost been stepped on and now I’m getting a terrible neck strain.”
“I can solve that.” She then nibbled the shrinking mushroom from her pocket and she shrank until she was at eye level with the Caterpillar. She was still sitting down so it seemed to be the ideal size. “Is this better?”
“Much better thank you.”
“Why have you become a Caterpillar again?”
“Seems I cheated into becoming a Butterfly.”
“How can you cheat into becoming a butterfly?”
“It’s very easy. Unfortunately it seemed that I also cheated so I had it taken away from me.”
“That’s a shame.”
“Oh well I like being a Caterpillar anyway. It’s a lot easier. All I have to do is eat and smoke. But when I’m a butterfly I have to fly around and get nectar. It can be so degrading at times.”
“But you can fly. Most animals can only dream of flying.”
“It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. If I miss one beat I would fall to the ground. And believe me that hurts.”
“Well if you prefer being a Caterpillar that’s good for you.”
“What do you want to be?”
“I’m happy the way I am.”
“At least some people are. I’ve heard a horse who wanted to be a fox. Not quite sure what happened to him.”
“That’s a shame.”
“Anyway I need you to do me one favour. My cousin lives about three hundred yards from here. But for me that’s a long walk. But if you grew back up to normal size you could take me there in no time.”
“Ok.”
“I’ll reward you when you get there.”
Alice then took out a piece of the growing mushroom and she took a nibble out of it. This made her grow to her normal size and she picked up the Caterpillar. He felt slimy but she didn’t mind.
“Which way?” asked Alice.
“He is exactly north, northwest of here,” replied the Caterpillar.
Alice looked at him a little not sure how to know which way to go. “I’m sorry but I didn’t bring a compass with me.”
“Oh yeah most people don’t. Ok then turn ninety degrees to your right and then got straight forward.”
“Ok that sounds better.”
Alice did what she was told and she began to walk in that direction. She was being careful with where she put her feet just in case anything happened. She didn’t want to accidentally step on the Caterpillar’s cousin.
The walk took her a couple of minutes but then she heard another tiny voice. She looked down and sure enough she saw the Caterpillar’s cousin. He looked a little like the Caterpillar.
“Hey there cousin,” said the Caterpillar’s cousin. He spoke in a thick Scottish accent. Alice could barely understand what he was saying.
“Hello Angus,” replied the Caterpillar.
“And who is this lovely Lass ye got here?”
“Alice,” she replied.
“Good Day to ye Lass.”
“And good day to you sir.” She bowed a little to say hello.
“And a Lass with manners as well. You don’t get too many of those nowadays.”
“Alice I thank you for helping me,” said the Caterpillar.
“It was nothing,” replied Alice.
“But you will be rewarded.” He began to think a little. “Actually I don’t have anything to give to you. But when I do I’ll be sure to find you.”
“Ok.”
Alice then put the Caterpillar on the ground next to Angus. She then waved goodbye to them and she walked away. This had been a pleasant day so far. It was going better then the last time she was in Wonderland. Not much better but a little better is better then not being better at all.
She walked for a while before coming to a river. It had a fast current and there were no visible bridges to the other side. She had to think a little on how to get to the to her side. The current was too strong for her to swim and it could be miles before she found a bridge.
But in a tree right next to the river Alice saw the Cheshire Cat appear again. She was glad to see him and she smiled.
“Did you get rid of her?” asked the Cheshire Cat?”
“Get rid of who?” replied Alice.
“The Duchess.”
“Oh yeah I made sure she didn’t find you.”
“Thank you very much. That woman is completely mad.”
“I thought everyone here was mad.”
“She in particular is mad.”
“Isn’t she your owner?”
“I belong to no one. Well maybe someone but definitely not the Duchess.” He then cleared his throat. “And I see you have a little problem.”
“Oh yes. I want to get across the river. But there’s no bridge or boat and the current is too strong for me to swim.”
“I think it’s a problem you can easily grow out of.”
He then smiled at her as he began to disappear. When he was completely gone Alice was a little confused with what to do. She began to remember what the Cheshire Cat had said to her.
“Grow out of it of course,” she said. She then took the growing mushroom from her pocket and she looked at it. “I can grow and just simply step over to the other side. I just hope I don’t grow too big or too small.”
She took a nibble out of the mushroom and she shot up. But she didn’t grow tall enough to step across the river.
“Ok maybe I should have taken a bigger bite,” said Alice. She then took a bigger bite out of the mushroom and she shot up even more. In a matter of seconds her head went through a cloud. She coughed a little. “Ok that was definitely too much.”
She then put the growing mushroom back into her pocket and she pulled out the shrinking one. She took a bite out of it and she went down. She stopped at a reasonable size. She was still a giant but she could now easily step over the river. She gave a sigh of relief.
“That’s much better.”
She then looked over the water and she simple took a simple step over it. She was happy that she had done this and she was about to take a bite out of the shrinking mushroom when she heard a strange sound. The sound was of someone screaming for help. She instantly ran towards where it was coming from and she saw the White Rabbit’s house and there was smoke coming out of it. The White Rabbit himself was running around in hysterics.
“My house is on fire!” he shouted. “My house is on fire.”
“Maybe I can help,” replied Alice.
The White Rabbit stood still and looked up at the still giant size Alice. She tried to smile at him so not to look too threatening.
“A giant!”
“No, I mean yes I am but I’m here to help you,” replied Alice.
“Thank you thank you.”
“Where is your house burning?”
“From the kitchen.”
“Then maybe I can blow it out.”
Alice went around the house and she squatted down to where blow the fire out. But instead of blowing it out her breath only accelerated the flames. The White Rabbit was jumping in anger.
“No you stupid girl you’re making it worse,” he said.
Alice then began to think about what to do next. It then hit her and she stood up to her full height.
“Don’t worry Mr. Rabbit I’ll be back in just a minute.”
Alice then quickly went back to the river. She sat down on the bank and she leaned into the water. Hen began to suck up the water. When her mouth was full she went back to the house. She then spat the water back out into the kitchen and it soon put the fire out. The White Rabbit seemed to be very happy.
“You did it you saved my house,” said the White Rabbit.
“Well last time I was here I almost destroyed it,” replied Alice. “I just wanted to make everything right again.”
“In deed you have.” He then began to think a little. “Wait you were the giant monster in my house?”
“Yes that was me.”
“Do you know how much my insurance went up when you nearly ruined my house?” He was very angry and he crossed his arms.
“I am sorry. But I did save your house.”
“And you nearly destroyed it. Go on get out of here.”
“Fine I will you ungrateful rabbit.”
Alice then stood up and she began to walk away. She was very annoyed with what had just happened. She was so angry that she forgot that she was still a giant. Because of this she walked into a small Wonderland town and this caused panic.
“Giant!” shouted a random person.
“What where?” replied Alice. She began to look around and she soon realised that they were talking about her. “Oh yeah.” She then took the shrinking mushroom from her pocket. She was amazed to see that it looked whole again. There weren’t even any bites taken out of it. But she just took a quick bite out of it and she shrank. “That’s much better.”
But when she looked around she saw that all the inhabitants now towered above her. She guessed that she had taken a little too much of the mushroom so she gave the growing mushroom a quick lick and she grew up to her normal size.
Alice then stopped a lizard like person. She found it strange for a lizard to be walking around and wearing human like clothes.
“What is this place?” asked Alice.
“This is Nwot,” replied the Lizard.
“Wait isn’t that Town spelt backwards?”
“I guess it is. I never even noticed that.”
“Figures.”
Alice then felt her stomach. Besides eating the mushrooms she hadn’t really eaten much. She had drunk plenty of tea but that was about it. She didn’t want to eat the mushrooms since they would change her size. She looked towards a building that sold pastries. She licked her lips a little.
“That looks nice.”
She didn’t hesitate in walking into the shop. A couple of animal like people came out and they all had pastries with them. Alice could smell them and it only made her feel even more hungry.
But when she got inside all it was, was a single room with a counter. There were no shelves and there were certainly no pastries in sight. Behind the counter was a goose like person. He was waiting to hear what she wanted.
“Can I help you?” asked the Goose.
“I’m sorry I thought you had pastries here,” replied Alice.
“We do have pastries here.”
“Where are they?”
“Right here.” He then crouched down below the counter and he picked out a fine pastry. “See.”
“How much is that?”
“It’s free.”
“That’s great. That’s just how much I’ve got.”
The Goose then gave Alice the pastry and she went to leave. But when she tried to pull the door open it was locked. She tried with all of her strength but nothing seemed to be budging it.
“Sir your door seems to be locked,” said Alice.
“No it isn’t,” replied the Goose. He then walked to the door and he easily opened it. But before Alice could walk through it he closed it again. “See.”
“You could have let me out.”
“Then there would have been no fun.”
Alice once again tried to open the door. But again she couldn’t budge it. She was getting annoyed at this point.
“Its still not opening,” she said.
“You’re just not trying hard enough,” replied the Goose.
“I’m trying as hard as I can.”
“Then it’s not good enough.”
“How anyone can move this door is beyond me.”
“Have you tried pushing it?”
“It opens into the room. So pushing it won’t a…” She then pushed the door and opened easily. She looked it in disbelief. “Difference.”
“See what did I tell you.”
“But how is that even possible.”
“Hey its Wonderland anything is possible. Like I could just spontaneously combust right now for no apparent reason.” He then set on fire in almost an instant. “Like right now.”
He then began to run around in pain. Alice panicked and she picked up a bucket of water and threw it at him. It did nothing and she was beginning to run out of ideas and she tried to think.
“Can you just stop?” she asked.
In that instant the Goose stopped being on fire and he went back to normal. He gave out a sigh of relief.
“That’s a lot better,” he said.
“Are you alright?” replied Alice.
“I think I will be.”
“That’s very good.”
“I think I need to go home. You can run the shop by yourself.”
“What?”
But before Alice could protest any further the Goose left the shop and Alice was left there all by herself. She was left unsure what to do next. She didn’t know whether she had to leave or stay.
“Fancy just leaving me here,” she said. “I may as well see what they sell here anyway.” She then went to one of the cupboards and saw that it was empty. She looked towards the window and that too was empty. “Hey there were pastries there a minute.” She then went a little closer. “They’re gone.”
But then a bear like man came into the shop. Alice was still in some disbelief and she hadn’t noticed him come in. He had to clear his throat to get her attention. She turned around and looked at him.
“I’m terrible sorry,” she said.
“Good afternoon,” replied the Bear. “I require a jigsaw puzzle with exactly five hundred and fifty three pieces. It has to have a picture of a horse eating at a bush on a warm summer’s day somewhere near the mountains.”
“I highly doubt that there’s one of those anywhere.” Out of confusion Alice went behind the counter and she saw a box there. She picked it out and was amazed to see the exact jigsaw the bear had said about. She put it on the counter and she was still in some disbelief. “I guess we do have one.”
“Excellent my dear. How much is it?”
“Let me see.” She looked all over the box and there seemed to be nothing on there that valued it. “There is no price on it.”
“Then it must be free.”
“I doubt it.”
“Then you must value it yourself.”
“What’s the currency in Wonderland?”
“Pounds and pence.”
“I’d say this is fifty pence.”
“A bargain if you ask me.”
The bear then paid Alice and he easily left the shop. She still wasn’t sure why she had to be there. She should be somewhere else and not stuck in a shop selling things that are too specific. She probably wasn’t even getting paid for any of this.
“I shouldn’t be stuck here,” said Alice. “I’m leaving.” She went to push the door but it wouldn’t budge. She then tried to pull it but again it didn’t budge an inch. She was a little confused. “This door is very odd. Maybe if I wait for someone to come in I can get myself out.”
Alice then sat down on a nearby chair and waited for someone to come in. But as the time went by no one came. She gave out a sigh before the Goose finally came back. She instantly recognized him.
“Good evening Ma’am,” he said as he opened the door.
“And good evening to you sir,” replied Alice. “Now I really must be going.”
She was able to get out through the door and the Goose was still inside. She gave out a sigh of relief and she walked on. She was trying to remind herself to never go in a Wonderland shop ever again.
She eventually left the small town and was in a field again. She was getting a little tired after doing so much walking. But before she could rest a few cards appeared in front of her out of nowhere. At first there were only a couple of them. But as the seconds went by more and more came. Eventually there were enough cards to make a decent size army. Alice knew this could only mean trouble.
“Make way for the Queen of Hearts!” shouted a Card.
Just then the Queen of Hearts along with the King began to walk down near the cards. She clearly saw Alice and she stopped right in front of her. She stared at her and scratched her chin.
“Have we met?” asked the Queen of Hearts.
“I don’t believe we have your highness,” replied Alice.
“You do seem familiar somehow child.” She then began to think a little. “What is your name my dear?”
“Ali…” She quickly stopped herself.
“What was that?”
“Dorothy. My name is Dorothy.”
Alice would have wanted to tell the Queen her real name. But if she had it might jog the Queen’s memory and she might lose her head.
“Ok Dorothy,” said the Queen. “Do you play croquet?”
“I’m afraid I don’t,” replied Alice.
“Then do you know how to play football (Soccer to the Americans)?”
“I guess I do.”
“Then let the game begin!”
In a matter of seconds the cards began to run around and they eventually got themselves in formation. They eventually made out two goals and two teams of ten. The red cards were on one team while the black cards were on another.
“Now my dear which team will you be on?” asked the Queen.
“I think I’ll pass,” replied Alice.
“You dare refuse me.” She was about to explode. “OFF WITH HER HEAD!”
“What I mean to say I’ll be on the black team.” She had to say this before she was seized.
“Excellent.”
Alice had to go and stand with the black team and the Queen went to the Red team. The King of Hearts was going to be the referee of this game. He had a ball with him and he shook with fear a little when the Queen walked up to him.
“Would you like to kick off my dear?” asked the King.
“Don’t mind if I do,” replied the Queen.
The game then kicked off before Alice could really get herself ready. She wasn’t really in the right attire. But neither was the Queen.
But right now the five of spades had the ball. The Queen then pushed him over and took the ball away from him. Alice wasn’t very happy at this and she looked towards the King of Hearts.
“Hey that’s a foul,” said Alice.
“That was a fair tackle,” replied the King.
“We’re playing Football not Rugby.”
A black card then performed a clean tackle on the Queen and took the ball away from her. The King then blew his whistle.
“Free kick,” said the King.
“That was a clean tackle,” replied Alice.
“From my point of view that was a clear free kick.”
By now Alice was getting a little annoyed. But she then began to remember something important. It was similar to the croquet match. Everyone was bending over backwards so that the Queen would win.
As the game went on things kept going the Queen’s way and nothing seemed to be going right for the Alice’s team. Three of her players had been taken away to be executed and the goals were rolling in for the Queen.
“I can’t win this game,” she thought. She then had an idea in her mind. “But maybe I can even things up a little.” She then took the growing mushroom and she licked it. She then doubled in height and everyone stared at her. “Now it’s on.”
The Queen was starting to fume with rage. She then looked over to the King and he was shaking a little.
“She can’t do that,” said the Queen of Hearts.
“I don’t think there’s a rule against growing in the game my dear,” replied the King of Hearts.
“Well there should be.”
“I’ll write it down somewhere.”
Alice seemed to be happy with what she had done. But then she noticed that the Queen was getting even angrier then before.
“I remember you now!” she shouted pointing to Alice. “You’re that girl who was on trial last year. Alice!”
“Ok but you got it,” replied Alice. “But this game is unfair.”
“It is not unfair! Your team isn’t very good!”
“That’s not true. My players are doing everything they can to let you win. Its not very nice when a game isn’t played fairly.”
“You’re going to lose your head again for this!”
“I never lost my head in the first place so how can I lose it again?”
“That’s it! OFF WITH HER HEAD!”
The cards went to capture Alice. But they were all a little scared of her. She thought that she could use this to her advantage. But unfortunately they were more afraid of the Queen then they were of her.
“GET HER!”
“I think a tactical retreat is in order,” replied Alice.
Alice then began to run away and the cards followed her. Since she was a lot taller then they were she was making good ground. But she was beginning to get tired and she had to hide herself fast.
“There isn’t anywhere big enough for me to hide,” she said. She then had an idea pop into her head. “Maybe everything isn’t too small.” She then took the shrinking mushroom from her pocket. “I’m too big.”
She then took a bite out of it and she instantly shrank. She was now no taller then the grass and she continued to run. Eventually the cards reached where she was. But they were expecting to see her as a giant. Now that she was small they couldn’t see her in the grass.
“Where did she go?” asked a Card.
“We’re gonna lose our heads for this,” replied another.
“We can just tell her that we found her and killed her.”
“Lie to the Queen.”
“If we say we failed we’ll lose our heads. If we say we killed her and then later she finds out we didn’t then we’ll lose our heads.”
“So either way we’ve lost.”
“But if we lie we keep our heads longer.”
“Oh.”
The cards went away and Alice gave out a sigh of relief. She ate a small part of the growing mushroom and she grew back to her normal size. She was happy that the cards had gone away.
“That was close,” said Alice.
“To close if I may say so myself,” replied a Familiar voice. The Cheshire Cat appeared on the shoulders of Alice.
“Cheshire Cat.”
“In the flesh. Did you like the game?”
“The Queen hasn’t changed. Everyone just keeps letting her win.”
“Well its either that or they lose their heads.”
“I guess I can see it from everyone else’s point of view. But the Queen doesn’t have to be so mean.”
“Well there’s no changing her there.”
“If you don’t mind I think I’d like to go home now. You did say I could come here any time I wanted.”
“Sure.”
“Great so how do I get back to the door?”
“Simple you’ll have to walk.”
“But it’s much too far for me to walk.”
“Then maybe you should grow and then walk.”
“But changing size so often can get very confusing. I prefer to do it when I have to. Is there any way I can get some kind of ride there.”
“Maybe there is or maybe there isn’t.”
The Cheshire Cat then began to disappear. Alice was a little annoyed that she had just disappeared like that. He didn’t tell her if he knew anyway to get back to the door. She was having to think of a way.
Just then she began to hear the beeping of a horn. She looked around and at first she couldn’t see anything. But then she turned around and saw herself eye to eye with her house. She jumped with shock and she landed on the ground. She looked at the horse and she saw a white knight sitting there. He was wearing thick armour and Alice couldn’t see his face.
“Excuse me sir,” said Alice while she was getting back up to her feet.
“What?” replied the White Knight. “Who said that?”
“I did.”
“Just give me a minute.” He then took off his helmet to reveal an old man with thick white hair. “Can’t see a blasted thing through that thing.”
“I need a favour sir.”
“Oh it’s a little girl.”
“Yes I need a ride if you don’t mind.”
“Where to?”
“The door.”
“There are plenty of doors around here my dear. You need to be a little bit more specific.”
“I need one that goes to the room with the many doors. Then I can get back home.”
“Why would you want to leave Wonderland? It’s a marvelous place to be if you don’t mind me saying.”
“I admit it can be fun here. But I want to go home. But I will come back.”
“Of course. Wish I could do that.”
“Why I thought you liked Wonderland.”
“I do indeed. But I wouldn’t mind seeing the real world every once in a while. Tell me do they still have knights and Kings.”
“Well right now a Queen is in charge. And sadly the knights aren’t around anymore. It’s been like that for centuries.”
“That’s a shame. I remember when you couldn’t walk a hundred yards without seeing any knights.”
“But we still have castles. I admit not many but there are still a couple around the country.”
“Great. The problem is all these new castles aren’t as good as the stone cold classics if you ask me.”
“I’ve been to a castle.”
“Oh really. That’s more castles then I’ve been to.” He then cleared his throat. “Now about that ride?”
“Oh yes. Please may you take me to the door of Wonderland?”
“Sure thing Little Girl.”
“Please call me Alice.”
“Ok Alice climb on.”
Alice then went to the horse and she tried to climb onto it. At first she couldn’t but then the White Knight pulled her up. She smiled at him and then they began to journey towards the door. But then she felt something land on her head. It felt like water and she looked up to see black clouds.
“I believe it is about to rain,” she said.
“Is it?” replied the White Knight. “Then we must take precautions immediately.” They waited a few seconds.
“What are these precautions?”
“I’m not sure. Is the manual there?”
“Doubt it is.”
“Must have left it home. Oh well we won’t be out for too long.” He then began to feel the rain drops. “But maybe I should have brought an umbrella with me.”
Before long the heavens opened and the rain came down hard. Alice was getting cold and wet. She even sneezed a few times and she was getting a little annoyed about the White Knight.
She was about to say something to him but then they reached the door. She gave out a small sigh of relief.
“Right we’re here,” she said.
“Thank you very much,” replied Alice.
“Now I must disembark. It was a pleasure meeting you.”
“And a pleasure meeting you too.”
She then got off the horse and the White Knight quickly rode away. She then went to the door and she opened it. She found herself in the room with many doors again. Everything looked gigantic to her. She went to get the growing mushroom from her pocket. But she was surprised to find that it had vanished.
“Where did the mushrooms go?” asked Alice.
“Well technically you’re not in Wonderland anymore,” replied a Voice. She turned around and saw the Doorknob. “So they don’t exist.”
“Oh yeah I forgot.”
“You can make yourself normal using the biscuits.”
“Ok.”
Alice then went over the biscuits and she took a large bite out of them. She shot up and the next thing she knew her head hit the ceiling. She rubbed it and thankfully the pain was going away.
“Too much,” she said.
She then looked towards the table and she could see the bottle again. He picked it up and this time she made sure that she didn’t drink that much. This quickly shrank her down to her right size.
“Great I’m normal again,” said Alice.
“Don’t forget to come back anytime,” replied the Doorknob.
“Don’t worry I won’t.”
Alice then ran towards the door that she came in through. She ran down the long corridor and she found herself at the end of it. She looked up and saw that she had to literally fly up to the real world.
“How am I going to get up there?” asked Alice.
She put her hand in her pocket and felt something. She took it out and she saw that it was another mushroom. She didn’t know what would happen if she ate it. But since she figured that she had nothing to lose she took a huge bite out of it.
The next thing she knew she was going up. But she wasn’t growing. Her feet weren’t touching the floor. It was like she was flying. She gave out a smile.
“I’m flying,” she said.
She continued to go up the tunnel and she saw all of the things she had seen on the way down. But now they seemed a little odd since she was seeing them form a different angle. But she didn’t really mind.
But the next thing Alice knew her head was hitting a ceiling. She quickly stopped herself and she saw another tunnel. There was a light at the end of this one so she crawled towards it. When she got out she saw that she was back in the real world. She looked around a little.
“I’m home.”
Alice then ran towards her house. She thought about telling her family about Wonderland. But they would probably think it was all in her mind. So instead Alice decided to keep Wonderland her little Secret.

The End.

Next the Incredible Shrinking Alice