Haunting Memories

I sometimes feel as if I'm traveling slowly through a long narrow tunnel, my mind focusing on past memories. My soul fights against these feelings that have a tenacious hold, gripping me tightly so I can't move on. My soul twists and turns, not willing to go back to that past with all it's painfulness, all it's tears and the heartache that encompasses that time frame.


My thoughts, feelings and terror surface, coming in short quick bursts,
to invade my mind in the form of a nightmare when I least expect it. I huddle, crouched on my knees, under my soft warm cocoon of blankets, crying tears of shame, remorse and sadness silently, my shoulders shaking.

My husband turns over in bed, coming up to sit beside me and I sob unashamedly against his shoulders nestled into his arms. His inner strength and soft words wrap around me gently as he rocks me slowly back and forth in his embrace, driving away the evil that has swirled around me. My weary body and soul try to understand that my past is behind me and I need to bring these terrors into the sunlight and face them.

My husband murmurs in my ear quietly to let the pen guide my hand and write out my thoughts so my spirit and soul can soak up the healing and cleanse my spirit of my shadowed past. Then, I will be at peace with the child I used to be. I will be free to join in with others, writing, in hopes of helping someone else and this editor of affected for abuse might eventually feel as if I  deserved this honor you bestowed on me. Thank-you so much for being here for me.
Leila