My Love Affair with Mr. Coffee (r)

The small, red light flickered bleakly and then when out altogether. I pressed the button again, but with the same result. I was mortified.

“NO! Don’t leave me now,” I begged.

“What do you expect? I’m fifteen years old,” the voice retorted, obviously annoyed.

“But you’ve been such a wonderful coffee pot. Please, please don’t go!” I howled.

“You know, you think you’d have the common decency to thank me for me years of service. I get up with the chickens every morning. Heck, I’m up before dawn. Half the time you throw more water in me when I’m still hot…. Do you know what that does to my insides, you ungrateful dolt?”

“I’m so sorry, coffee pot. Really I am. I never thought about it.”

“Do you know what it’s taken to keep this element burning when you leave me on all day? Do you have any idea?”

“I guess I don’t,” I whimpered. “I’m so sorry.”

“Of course you are. You’re sorry now. After ten years of abuse I’ve chosen to take my leave, and now you’re sorry. Funny, you never said you were sorry all those years you were abusing me, did you?”

“I guess not,” I murmured.

“What do you have to say now, Young Lady?” the pot asked indignantly.

“I guess that I just wish we could have one more cup together. And I’m sorry I took you for granted.”

“That’s better. Hit the button.”

“What?”

“Hit it.”

I did and the light came on, bright as ever. The coffee pot chortled to life, filling the room with coffee aroma. “You were just holding out on me the whole time?” I became belligerent.

“Not so fast, Lady. I can shut down at any time.”

“Okay, okay. I get the idea! You own me! ”

Word Count: 299