Wheel of Life

Setting: Birds nest with a three eggs in it.

(One of the eggs shakes a little)
  It’s dark in here… and sticky... this feels kind of… familiar… Oh no, what are these, feathers? And wings? Damn it! I’m a seagull again.
  Surely this isn’t for biting the postman? He’d asked for it. Also chewing up my master’s best shoes might have stirred up some bad Karma, but a seagull? I thought I’d at least be reborn as a cat, or at worst a rabbit.
  Technically I’m not born at all yet, just floating around in my egg. I’ve been a bird a few times, but that ‘eat anything’ instinct is a dead give away.
  I had it fairly good in my last life. Being a dog was a breeze after being a donkey – man, those things live forever. I thought I’d never kick the bucket. Forty years carting stuff back and forth across the scorching desert for a miserable Arab merchant. I can still feel the sting of his whip across my tail feathers. I finally collapsed beneath a load of Persian rugs and left him stranded in the middle of nowhere - hehehe.
  I came back as a puppy, a purebred, with the papers and everything. I’d hoped to come back human but I guess karma still hadn’t forgotten about my last stint as a human.
  I’d been born in India. I made a vow of deprivation and self sacrifice so I could finally break from the cycle and make it to Nirvana. My vow had been to always remain on my feet. I even tied myself to a tree at night so I could remain standing while I slept. If it weren’t for that soft lovely bed that I finally succumbed to I wouldn’t still be reincarnating around like this. Not that lying in a bed is a sin, but lying in a bed with the Sultan’s wife is.
  After the Sultan came home and hurled me off a cliff, it took me down a few notches. I came back as a shark, but I accidentally ate a fisherman, which made me a worm next time round. I was eaten by a seagull and came back as a llama, then an aardvark, a peacock, a chimpanzee, and finally, human again. Momma called me Jack, London called me 'the Ripper'. Needless to say, I was reborn a flea.
  I was the most angelic of fleas: I didn’t bite more than I had to, I wasn’t promiscuous. After they gave the dog a bath, I was justly rewarded for my good behaviour and became a trout.
  I have a special “gift” you see - I can remember my past lives. These detours on my path towards Nirvana keep popping up, but if I come back as a seagull one more time – well, that would really put my beak out of joint. Seagulls aren’t exactly bottom of the karma scale, but they’re not far off.
  I'm a little grey fluffy fellow like I’ve been so many times before, not sure if I’m male or female yet, though I do feel kind of male.
  Ok, ground rules. No murder. No genocide. No adultery. Do seagulls mate for life? I can’t remember, maybe that was where I went wrong last time. What about stealing, do fish and chips count? That’s the problem with all this. I’m constantly worrying about Karma points. Should I eat this worm? Should I peck that child? Should I shit on that bald guy’s head?
  Why am I a seagull? I’m sure I was a good dog. Let me think about this - what did I possibly do to deserve this?
  I was born: an adorable puppy dog. Little Jimmy chose me from a litter of five. He taught me to sit, taught me to fetch. I walked, I barked, I rolled over. Karma had better not be screwing me over, I was a good dog!
  Fetching the paper from the lawn, chasing sticks at the beach. The poodle down the road, the barking, the wagging, the shagging. The fleas, the baths, the vet. The growling, the snarling, the chasing. Little Jimmy running and screaming. The biting, the tearing, the ripping.
(pause)
  Okay, fair play, seagull it is.
  What’s that sound? That hissing noise, I recognise that – that’s a Tiger Snake! (snake appears) I’ve been one of those before. I used to always hang around birds nests. If I remember correctly seagull eggs were particularly tasty, especially the ones with seagulls insi–
(Snake eats egg)
(Pause)
  That was short. I wonder if I’ll go up or down? I didn’t really do anything good or bad in my short life. I did swear - that’s kind of bad. On the other hand I had plans to be a good seagull.
  I hope I’ll be a dog again. That hot pregnant poodle down the road should be due pretty soon. It would be kind of weird to be born as my own son.
  (Pause.)
  (One of the eggs shakes a little)
  It’s awfully dark in here… and sticky… Damn it! I’m a seagull again.