Sunrise Lesson 2

Sunrise Class Lesson 2 Assignment

This piece is titled The Snow Storm, written for the Daily Flash Fiction Contest, and I believe it follows the Freytag Pyramid. I placed the tags at the end of each segment:

#1) It was the biggest snow storm Kate remembered in years. She’d shoveled the side door to the wood shed four times. A fire crackled warmly in the fireplace as she worked on her afghan, a candle at the ready for the inevitable power outage. She could still smell the apple pies cooling in the kitchen. But there would be no one to eat them – not in this storm. Her favorite medley of Christmas songs came softly from her CD player, but it didn’t brighten her thoughts of spending another Christmas alone.

“Four years since Al passed,” she mused. She jumped as the telephone rang, sending a ball of yarn rolling across the floor. Exposition

“Mom, it doesn’t look like we’re going to make it through.”

“I understand, Sweetie.” Kate hid her disappointment. “I thought they might start closing the roads. Are you safe?”

“Yeah. I think we found a place to stay.” His cell crackled. “Mom? Sounds like I’m losin’ ya.”

“Honey, I love you! Stay safe!” she said quickly. “Honey? Mike? Are you there?” The line was dead. She clutched the phone to her chest, praying Mike, Donna, and the boys were safe. Rising Action

Kate began to pace. She went to the window to take stock of the storm. Eventually, she glanced at the driveway and saw the blue sedan. Her heart skipped a beat. She swung open the front door with tears in her eyes.

“Told ya we found a place to stay!” Mike waved from the driveway. Climax The boys piled out of the back seat.

“Grandma! Grandma!” They raced toward her.

“Hope you don’t mind if we stay longer, Mum. This storm looks like a big one!” Donna hugged her tight; the boys huddled between them. Falling Action

“Oh, you kids,” Kate blubbered through her tears. resolution

#2)
“Told ya we found a place to stay!” Mike waved from the driveway. Climax The boys piled out of the back seat.

“Grandma! Grandma!” They raced toward her.

Kate had been sitting alone in her modest home watching the snow pile up. It was one of the worst storms she experienced since she was young. She had a fire in the fire place and a candle at the ready. She knew this one would knock out the power eventually.

She listened to her favorite Christmas carols coming softly and smelled her apple pies cooling in the kitchen. These things would normally bring her closer to the Holiday Spirit, but not this year. For the list four years since Al passed, she’d spent Christmas alone. The kids were supposed to come this year, but she knew it wouldn’t be long before the roads were closed. She’d be alone again this year, she was sure. Exposition

She was knitting when the phone rang. The noise startled her and a ball of yarn rolled across the hardwood floor as she jumped to answer it.

“Mom, it doesn’t look like we’re going to make it through.”

“I understand, Sweetie.” Kate hid her disappointment. “I thought they might start closing the roads. Are you safe?”

“Yeah. I think we found a place to stay.” His cell crackled. “Mom? Sounds like I’m losin’ ya.”

“Honey, I love you! Stay safe!” she said quickly. “Honey? Mike? Are you there?” The line was dead. She clutched the phone to her chest, praying Mike, Donna, and the boys were safe. Rising Action

She began to pace the room, worried for her son and his family. It was then that she looked out the window and saw Mike’s blue sedan in the driveway. She wanted to be mad that he had tried to trick her, but she was too happy to see them safe.

“Hope you don’t mind if we stay longer, Mum. This storm looks like a big one!” Donna hugged her tight; the boys huddled between them. Falling Action

“Oh, you kids,” Kate blubbered through her tears. resolution



DT 2:
I don’t think this story lends itself to beginning with the climax, but I guess it can be done. It really takes away from the “surprise” ending, though. I like to think that I start somewhat near the “action” part of my stories, but I seem to always start with at least a small amount of exposition. In my NaNo Novel, the reader is made aware of a murder very early on (by page 2, actually), but I still start with exposition and even use flashbacks by the MC to show how she knew the man who was found dead. I like to read stories that start as close to the action as possible, but I think exposition helps set the story up. For instance, in my NaNo Novel, I could have started directly with the dead body being found… and then told readers why they should care, but, for whatever reason, I chose to set it up a bit first.