White Skin, Red heart

I was 1 year old and talked without words to Butch, a Boxer Bulldog. This is my earliest memory.

My parents knew there was a special link between Butch and myself. Daddy would say, " I don't know how Sandy can just look into that dog's eyes and know what he wants." Even as an infant my parents told him to allow someone close to me or not even grandparents could come near me. As a toddler he watched over me.

I had looked into his soul, he mine and there was a part of each of us in the other. Few people understand this. I thought as a child everyone was this way. My "gift" was not limited to Butch, I was able to do this with any animal.

I had dreams that did not always come to me while asleep. My visions were always accurate. I learned at an early age to keep quiet about them for many thought me strange or possessed by evil spirits. I understood it was Spirit speaking to my soul, and was no more evil than Wind.

At age six I cut the sole of one of my feet with a foot adz. It took 56 stitches to put it back on. It actually shaved the bone in my foot. The tendons were cut and there was doubt I'd ever walk without a limp or worse. While I was bed-bound a neighbor brought me the book Hiawatha to read. I knew then my heart was Indian. I recognized myself as having a heart and soul of Native American. I began studying with the help of a Choctaw man who worked for my father and his mother(Apokni-Choctaw for grandmother) the Choctaw customs. I would sit at Grandma's feet for hours learning to bead and sew Choctaw dresses. She did not speak English, I did not speak Choctaw yet we had no problem understanding one another. She had been blind for 20 years yet still did amazing work with her fingers. At the time she died written records showed her to be at least 114 years old. She was a child when written records began being maintained. Grandma said my skin did not matter, through her blind eyes she could see my heart and it was surely Choctaw. Tony Bell, too, said my heart, my spirit is Choctaw.

Later in life I discovered my great-great-grandmother was Choctaw. Now there was some understanding of the gifts I possessed, an origin for them.

Nania Wayia, Mother Mound, legend holds is the birth place of all Choctaw. This sacred piece of land and underground caves were owned by my grandmother's family. I do not know if that came to be due to my great-great-grandmother being Choctaw or due to my great-great-grandfather being mediator at the Treaty of Dancing Rabbit and was gifted. This is the most sacred place of the Choctaw. Sadly, the public became interested in it and raided this sacred ground for souvenirs and money gain when a renewed interest in Native American artifacts occurred in the very early 60's. Granddaddy donated the lands to the state of Mississippi hoping to preserve them better. Didn't happen. The caves were allowed to deteriorate until they had to be closed for safety. I spent many, many an hour inside them listening to many Spirits in silence. I thought all children could do this--see and hear Spirit.

When my children were born I was told by my grandmother's spirit my daughter would possess the Gift as well. She does and I have always shared with her how blessed she is to have it. I have always respected Creator God for her gifts and encouraged her to not hide them, not flaunt them, but respect them, listen to them, allow them to guide her though life.

My middle son's best friend was Choctaw. When they were 8 years old the phone rang one afternoon. Tommy called me to the phone. It was Harold, my son's friend. He was crying.

"There are lots of drunk men here and they are making Carol Diane (his sister who was 5 years old)cry. I'm scared."

I knew his mother, an alcoholic, must be passed out. I went and got Harold and Carol Diane carrying them home with me. I kept them a week and their mother never tried to find them, didn't even miss them she was in such a drunken state.

Their Aunt took Carol Diane. Harold was reared as my own child. His Aunt provided knowledge of Choctaw ways and language and we made sure he and Diane had constant contact with one another.

This is the arrangement that lasted until our children were grown. My son, Tommy is very light complected, blue-eyed, and blond. Harold is dark complected, has raven black hair and eyes. They looked as opposite as two humans could, but possess a closeness that is indescribable. They react to one another like twins. Each has always known what the other was thinking without words and across distances. To this day they know when the other needs to talk or if something is wrong. Tommy is married and Harold is accepted as brother by his wife just as he is by all my children. He is as much my child as if I'd brought him home from the hospital.

I worked as an extradition agent nationwide for several years. I worked out of Nashville, Tennessee and made frequent trips to Kentucky. I was on one of these trips when I overheard a lady crying in a truck stop I'd stopped at for fuel, coffee and a bite to eat. I had one of those "feelings" I sometimes get needing to get to her. She was telling a friend she and her husband were having to relocate and were unable to carry their pet with them. She was going to have to have the animal put down because no one would take it.

"What kind of animal is it?" I ask her, joining their conversation.

"She is three quarter Wolf and one quarter Malamute. Everyone is afraid of her." Another tear slid down her face.

I am in Kentucky. I live in Mississippi. I am working and my mouth says, "I'd love to have her if you'll trust me with her."

She explained to me the Wolf/dog was different from most animals. I thought, "DUH! She's a Wolf." but didn't say anything. Something inside told me be silent, this was to be.

When I finished my next trip carrying inmates I routed back through Kentucky to meet Kola. Her owner couldn't believe her eyes. As Kola looked into my eyes and I looked into hers something magical that everyone in the room could feel happened. Kola came sat at my side and was a one woman Wolf from that day on.

Her spirit was pure. She was white with ice blue eyes. She howled, never barked. She was silent and no one knew she was even around until she seemed to just appear. She gave me one pup the first year I was her human. Bear was pitch-black with black eyes. She was mated with a malamute and the pup was a beautiful animal. I gifted him to a Native American Healer of the Choctaw tribe and he is still doing well. Kola's next litter was from a Husky/Wolf mix. She had two pups. One was Grey with silver and black markings and was a gift to another Native American who could love and appreciate Neshoba(Choctaw for grey wolf). The other pup was white with black eyes. I named him Yheti and while he displayed dog tendencies in barking not howling he had the Spirit of Wolf.

Many feared her when there was nothing to fear. I had a fenced three and one-half acre for her to be in while I was working. She knew when I arrived home we would go to the woods. She taught me many things in the woods. Some things sacred and not to be shared, but have allowed me to see and understand even human better. I became ill and had a death sentence of cancer declared. Kola said not worry my body would heal. I amazed the doctors and healed after three major surgeries.

I had to be bed-bound for six months after one of the operations. I was literally unable to get out of bed. I had a neighbor or family member to come and leave food on the night stand at my bedside and Kola, Yheti, and Baby, my Jack Russell Terrier, faithfully stayed by my side. Her Spirit strengthened mine.

I was at the doctor's office one day for a checkup and had a terrifying vision of Kola lifeless. As my sister drove me home I was inconsolable. As we came close to home I had a peace settle over me. I knew even before I reached home Kola had passed over. Indeed, someone had killed Kola and Yheti.

The first friend I made here at WDC was Ruby Standing DEER. I have found a friend who understands what is inside of me...She also has the Gift and writes what Spirit imparts to her so well. Cissy White Wolf has been wonderful for all in our group as have so many others. I find there are others with white skin and red spirit also to whom I can relate to.

My heart, my soul is so grateful to you for allowing me to be a part of this group. I am a mixture of Dutch ( I guess that makes me Black Dutch also), Scotch/Irish, English, French, and Choctaw. I carry all these bloodlines proudly. My skin is white, my heart, my soul are red.