CRYING YET TRIUMPHANT

Why am I crying?
The music of my life is fading
My youth is beyond capturing
The tears are just there
Ignored by sons and lover
Who used up my space

I am crying because of
Inconsequential battles
Lights off ...Water shut down
Rent late ... Phone silenced
I am not a self-provider
I share in the experience without reward

No confidential aims or plans
Does even God know I am here?
I reach out and feel only space
Friends are like Job's
I am a leper to fear
Pity is momentary

Why am I crying?
Because I lost the fear of lightning
Day is pale and nights only time zones
Glory to God there is a dawn
Tears burn as rain wets
Hearts ache as mind projects
Hands obey

I will dress
I will sing
Send messages announcing: "I am here!"
Another day may bring me down
Trampling hopes and spitting on dreams
I may never be great
But I Will Live!

Earthene Fleming
March 20, 1988
Revised11:31 AM 5/31/2005
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Author's Comments:
"I wrote this when I was turning fifty. I had not accomplished all the things I deemed as important. That is how I felt that day, anyway. It was just a moment in time that I outlived. Too, I acknowledged that I had never stopped going out to lunch.