Punitive measures

Sometimes
she wanted
to punish him

She wanted to punish him for stealing her heart
for making her laugh
and laugh
and cry

She wanted to make him pay
for every time
she thought that they could go back
and back
and back
to the days when she only ever
laughed with him
and about him
and because of him
and the days when the thought of him
brought a sweet smile to her face

She wanted him
to feel like she did
every time he ripped her heart from her chest
and danced on it

She wanted revenge
for his lies
[I love you, he'd said]
and his broken promises
and her shattered hopes

She wanted a return
on the minutes
and hours
and days
she'd spent, broken and weeping,
waiting for him

She wanted to punish him for her helpless love

And sometimes
she wondered
if he was punishing her