Holding it together...

I’m trying hard to hold it all together
I don’t think its working though,
it reminds me of trying to hold dry sand in my hands,
no matter how tightly I grasp it, little grains seems to get away.

Those little grains are like pieces of my life,
most of it still under my control, but some slipping away.
I could always add water to make it hold I know,
but it’s only a temporary fix, because eventually it will dry out again.

For years now I have added water to it,
losing bits and pieces here and there
but keeping it wet enough to all stay together.
I am not sure now, that I want to keep doing that,
to keep living that way.

What is life when you can’t let go,
what are you really learning, are you really living?

Letting go though is so scary,
I have held it for so long to just let go, could mean losing it all.
Or maybe finding out that I didn’t need to hold on so tightly in the first place.

It's almost too much to even think of letting go,
what would I do then, with nothing to hold onto?
I’m trying hard to hold it all together;
I don’t think its working though…..