Quiet Wife

Paul lifted his wife out of the car trunk and stood her stiff body on the dolly, which he then used to wheel her into the service department.

“What seems to be the problem sir?” asked the service representative behind the counter.

“It’s my wife,” Paul began, “she seems to be acting up a bit.”

The rep walked around from behind the counter to get a closer look at Paul’s unit.

“Ahh,” he said scratching his head, “I see you have the Quiet Wife model 01-Alpha. I didn’t know that any of these things were still out there. She must be what, twenty-five years old?”

“I’ve had her for nearly thirty years. You might say we’ve grown old together,” said Paul, a tear forming in his eye.

“What seems to be the problem?” the rep asked.

“She is leaking oil and several of her connections keep loosening up. She requires a lot of attention. If I have to pay that much attention to my wife, I might as well get a live one. Plus, she seems to have lost some interest in me … physically I mean.”

The rep couldn’t help but do a quick body scan, noting the generous belly and unkempt look of his customer. Recovering quickly he said, “It must be her optical recognition and response card. I should have another one in the back.”

While the rep went to look for the part, Paul scanned through some brochures touting the latest in Artificially Intelligent Domestic Partners. Their best selling model was Handyman Hal. The testimony below said, “He is much more of a man than my real husband in every way.” Paul shuddered as he saw the smiling face attached to the comment. It was that of the newest female AIDP, Quiet Wife Ultra.

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