Death Sentence

"Margaret, it's Sandy. My heart is in my throat. I am glad I have a sister who is a nurse. I have gotten the results from my latest tests. My pap smear has come back five. What does that mean?"

A long silence elapsed before Margaret answered in a shaky voice, "Are you sure they said it was stage five? Absolutely sure?"

"I'm sure." Sandy answered. "Tell me in language I can understand EXACTLY what it means."

With a tremor in her voice Margaret explained, " Advanced malignant cancer. Surgery is required. When do you return?"

"I have a meeting with the doctor tomorrow afternoon. I'll let you know how that turns out. His nurse scheduled it that soon due to the results being a five I guess."

Okay, if it's cancer what to do? First, set up a plan for the kids--school, who will take them if I die, no, no, no I'm not going to die! With an amazing calm, Sandy felt only a peace settle over her like a cocoon of comfort.

Early the next day, she got to the doctor's office before anyone else. She kept her mind occupied with the assortment of magazines displayed in the patient lounge.

A nurse in bright scrubs stepped into the lounge, " Dr. Harris will see you now Mrs. Cummings."

Dr. Harris was sitting behind a deep cherry desk with pictures of his wife and four small children surrounding him. He had pictures the youngest had drawn displayed in prominent view. His pride showed in the thirteen year old daughter's artwork that was framed and hung on his walls.

It was one reason Sandy liked Dr. Harris. He understood what it was like for your world to revolve around your children.

" Your pap smear results are correct. It was three when we tested three months ago," he began. " I told you we'd be looking at surgery if it was worse. Five means it is progressing at an alarming rate. In 99.9 % of cases with PAP smears at stage five there are malignant cancer cells present. Surgery is necessary without delay. My nurse will set up a date for surgery."

" I know God knows best. He will guide me and you as my doctor," Sandy responded. No tears, no screaming, only a quiet calm demeanor exhibited.

Okay, it's D-Day, I guess S-Day would be more accurate. Surgery, why am I so calm. God, thank you for not letting me totally freak out today. I don't know why I felt such an overpowering need to be alone when I check in the hospital but here I am ALL BY MYSELF.

Taking a deep breath, Sandy approached the nurse behind the black marble counter.

"Hi, I'm Sandra Cummings. I am here to check in for surgery. Dr. Harris is my doctor."

"Have a seat while I pull up your record. I will come and get you to sign any paperwork we will need."

Looking up, Sandy saw the nurse approaching with a look of puzzlement on her face, "Mrs. Cummings, are you sure you were to be here today? I can't seem to find you on our surgery schedule any time this week."

"Yes mam. I'm sure today was scheduled for me to check in. I didn't eat or drink after midnight. Here is the card the nurse wrote the date on," Sandy responded handing the card to the nurse beginning to feel a little puzzled herself.

"Yes, it says today, but your name is not on our roster here and we have an overfull schedule today. Let me call Dr. Harris."

A short while later the friendly nurse approached Sandy once more. "He wants you to come up to his office, Mrs. Cummings."

This seemed the opportune time to have a little silent talk with God. Father, I'm not sure what all this means. Either it is cancer or not. Either it is life or death. I know you have the keys and all knowledge in your sacred hands. I know I should be scared out of my mind, but I thank you that I am not. I thank you for being in control. I thank you for providing whatever it takes to get through this. I only ask you help me show my children how to live while dying if that is what is happening to me.

Dr. Harris' nurse approached Sandy before her conversation with her Lord was complete requesting her to come to the doctor's office.

"What do we do now, doc?" Sandy questioned.

" I know what the results were but under the circumstances I want to redo the pap just to be sure. This is the first time something like this has happened to one of my patients. I'll call in about 4 days."

"You know my prayer warriors are praying over this." Sandy said looking the doctor directly in the eye.

Sandy was in the yard close to the house reveling in the beauty before her. The view from her yard was spectacular no matter where in the yard you were.On this beautiful sunny March day she was amazed at the life sprouting forth from every corner of the yard. There were bluebirds nesting in the cedar tree, jonquils and white narcissus exploding with color and fragrance everywhere. Even the pond was overflowing with life as she could see fish jumping and dancing in the air before returning to their underwater acrobatics. Sandy heard the telephone ringing. She raced inside before the ringing stopped.

"Mrs. Cummings?"

"Yes."

"Dr. Harris here. Are you sitting down?"

A semblance of dread in her heart, but still not the panicked feeling she thought she should have under the circumstances Sandy asked, "Do I need to be?"

"I think so."

Easing herself down in the old rocker left to her by her grandfather she replied, "Okay, I'm sitting, what is the verdict?"

"I don't know who those prayer warriors of yours are, but I want them praying for me. Your pap has come back completely clean. Now, I know that is impossible. I know what I saw when examining you. I know there were irregular cells present. Could you come in for one more pap?"

The next week was one for reflection on the wonders of God for Sandy, her small children and her church family. Prayer was held for God's healing powers to be a part of his plan for Sandy's family every morning at 6:00 a.m. Sandy's heart was filled with hope and joy on a daily basis. She had lost her mother in a tragic accident one week to the day before the first call from Dr. Harris' office had come in to announce "Stage Five's" entrance into their lives. She was unsure whether her unnatural calm was due to being in shock, still in deep grief over her mother's death, unbelief, or a deep belief that God was in control. More than likely it was due to all of these factors. Why else would she not be scared out of her wits, nervous, worried, and all the other things you were supposed to be when you could be facing a death sentence?

Another pap was sent off and another appointment was made to discuss the results.

Today Sandy's prayer warriors anointed her with oil and prayed her visit later today to Dr. Harris would yield only good news of a long healthy life to be shared shared with her children.

Once again waiting in the medical clinic to see Dr. Harris, she wondered if she were just still in shock after Mama's death or if she was in shock that she might be dead inside a year too. Truth be known she was becoming a little worried at her own calm. But God was close and peace was a balm.

The nurse brought her out of her thoughts, "Mrs. Cummings you can see the Dr. now."

"Mrs. Cummings I KNOW you had cancer. I believe in miracles, but this is the first one I have personally experienced. The latest pap smear came back clear. I've never asked a patient this before but I wonder if you'd have a prayer with me before you leave today?"

"You got it doc! Bow your head and hold my hand," Sandy said reaching for the doctor's outstretched hand. "Father, my heart overflows with thanks for granting me life. Not only once did You allow me to live and grow, but twice. I thank you for the moments of fear that enabled me to forge a stronger relationship with my children, my family, my caregivers and more important, You Heavenly Father. Bless Dr. Harris in his ministry of medicine and guide my heart, my mind, and my actions to allow this miracle to bring only Glory to You. In Jesus precious name. Amen."

During the next twenty years, Sandy did have to have three surgeries to remove cancer from her body. She never felt the dread or fear she should have in any of those surgeries. She knew WHO held her future and where eternity would be for her. Her children were grown now and that made it easier to face surgery also.

At this writing she has been cancer free for five years and is in better health than ever. Yes, God is good.
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