To be me

Do you know what it feels like to be me?
Do you have ANY idea how it feels when you cannot sleep nor rest?
Joy of creating is my addiction, I need it all the time.
Everyday passes by like sand that I grasp into my hands
Only to let it fall trough my fingers...
It turns into a sleepless night, i try to sleep but i cannot.
the Lust to create, the lust to express, the lust to know.
I seek, but do not find enough.
I read between and next to the lines, yet my lust not fulfilled.
I seek and seek- I do not know what I want or what I need.
I only know few things that make me...smile.
Joy of creating and knowing.
Joy of wandering...
Joy of being loved.
When I miss but one of these, I take more of one.
No love makes me lust creating and knowing
No creating or knowing makes me lust being loved.
Not wandering would kill me.