THE DAILY STRUGGLES OF A ADDICT

INSPIRATIONAL



I woke up this morning like any other morning. First thing I do is reach over to light up a cigarette to get that morning nicotine rush. I'm laying back listening to the radio and the speaker is giving his morning words of inpsiration. I usually try to listen to this guy, sometimes I hear him and other times I hear him and don't hear him if you know what I mean. Well this morning was different because the message he was giving seemed like it was patently tailored just for me.
Basically the speaker was saying "It don't matter how many or what sins you've committed in the past that GOD can still use you. While you were committing your varioud sins you were using some sort of skill and although that skill was used to do the devils work it can be used positively doing GOD'S WORK. If you feel that you've sunk so low that you don't deserve a chance to get it right, know that, thats just the devil whispering nonsense in your ear. There is no sin that you've committed that hasn't been committed by someone else before you and that GOD hasn't forgiven. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and stand up and be the man or woman that you were predestined to be. You just have ask for forgiveness and come back home to GOD".
I may not have recited the exact mesage the speaker was giving because I was so caught up in what he was saying that I was like in a trance. I felt that the speaker was speaking directly to me. He was saying that GOD works through people and if this wasn't one of those cases than I don't know what was. I can't really explain how I felt at that moment but, for a brief moment I felt a sense of calm. I don't remember how long ago since I felt that way and it felt good. So I sat up and tried to apply the message to my life to see if it was really for me. To my surprise, it was.
I was raised up in church by my grandmother and over the years I've strayed from lessons I learned as a child. I not really a religious person now but I do believe in GOD. I've done some terrible things throughout my life time. I have caused a great many people pain. I've taken advantage of people's ignorance and kindness. I've neglected my responsiblitiies as a father and husband. The list of things that I've done could go on forever, but what it all boils down to is that I've committed a great many sins. It's been said that GOD forgives us of our sins. I truly believe that and that where my problem is. I don't want to be forgiven, I don't think that I deseve to be forgiven. I know GOD wouldn't see it that way but its how I feel and until I can find a way to get over that overwhelming feeling then my life will continue as it is. I know that I have the potential to do good and if I strive for good I will be successful, but do I deserve it?
This probably doesn't make much sense to many but those few of you that have been in the places that I've been in then you know what I'm saying. Maybe one day this feeling will magically lift from me and I'll be that man that GOD put me on this earth to be. Unitl then pray for me.


PEACE






DEDICATION TO MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER TIFFANY MICHELLE









DAILY STRUGGLES OF A ADDICT

INTRODUCTION

This is story is based on countless interviews with a gentlemen we shall refer to as D-nice. The crack epidemic is still alive and thriving. Every day when D-nice wakes up he has to take to the streets to get money to support his habit. Most people believe that people that smoke crack are stupid. Well thats not true, what they do maybe stupid but the things that some of them do to earn money takes some real creativity. This will be demonstrated throughtout D-nice's story.
After speaking with D-nice I was convinced that crack isn't the problem, its the problem(s) that the average crack smoker is running from which is the real problem. Everyone goes through problems within their lives, but how you or I would deal with them isn't the crack smokers' way. Rather than face the problem and try to resolve it one way or the other the crack smoker is content to throw a rock in his/her pipe. When that rush hit them the problem is no longer there. Of course once the high is gone the problem still exist. The crack smoker doesn't care about that. He/she is so happy in that moment of uphoria when the rush hits their brain that no problem is to big or to small for them to handle.
Sit back, relax and enjoy reading about D-nice's daily struggle to obtain his drug of choice. Maybe your eyes will be opened and you'll view crack smokers differently. They're people just like you and me, accept they have a disease that needs to be treated.



Chapter 1



I turn over in my bed and as my eyes become accustom to the light I see that my old sometimes faithful alarm clocks reads 11:25 am. I've slept half the day away due to the fact that I was up all night and most of the early hours of the morning getting twisted, smoking crack. I got lucky last night and hit the night lottery number 351 for a dollar straight which netted me $500. It was a fluke that I even thought to play the number. I was in the store buying a beer and when I looked at the time it was 3:51 pm so I decided to play that number since it was my pet number. Money doesn't usually come to me that easy, I just got lucky last night. As I turn over I see that I have company. It's Porsha my favorite girl I like to get high with. Pat has an ass that is out of this world, you could serve drinks on her ass,her head game is official and she fucks like the energizer bunny-any and every way. She's also very pretty, not the type of woman that you would think would engage in all types of sexually activity just so she can feel that rush of the almighty crack rock. As I lay back and reminisce about last nights escapdes I feel a hard on coming on. Pat is laying on her stomach, so without waking her up I mount her and slide right up in her. She lets out a loud moan and looks back at me, says good morning and contiues to throw that big black ass back at me. I'm in heaven right now enjoying every thrust until I explode and collapse on top of Porsha. After I'm done she looks back and says "you're lucky I like you, I don't usually give up no free morning pussy". I laugh and say "I bet you say that to all the guys", which elicits a smile from her.She pushes me off her, jumps off the bed and runs to the bathroom. A moment or two later I hear the shower running and decide to join her. We take turns washing each other. Then we have another good fuck and then wash each other up again. Its the best morning I've had in a long while. Most of the women I pick up usually leave once the drugs and money are gone. Porsha has a little more class about herself. She'll at least stay the night if she'd enjoyed herself plus we've developed a friendship so I get a little better treatment than most of the tricks she picks up. She knows that if she needs a place to crash or just wants a place to get high in peace; my door is always open to her. As we enjoy a cups of coffee together, we try to figure out what we're going to do for the rest of the day. We talk for a little while longer and Pat decides to go hit the streets to find another trick who will get her high in exchange for some great sex.
I'm alone now, which is usually a good thing but Porsha has been only gone five minuites and I already miss her. Porsha is a good girl, she just got caught up in the crack game and can't seem to find her out. As I'm finishing up my coffee theres a knock at my door. I figure this must be a good thing because the only time people knock at my door is either for me to go pick up some drugs for them or they have some other business proposition for me. Either way its going to be profitable for me. I yell out who is it and voice yells back "it's Milicent". I get up and open the door. Without even so much as a hello, Milicent asks me "if I feel like making a run, I got forty dollars". Of course I say yes at which point she hands me the money. As I'm about to walk out the door she says "she has something else for mr to do when I come back". I ask her "what it is?" , but she says "I'll tell you when you get back".