Three Decades Here

Three Decades Here-


What can I show for my three decades here?
Apart from this internal battle of wills,
a couple conditions requiring pills,
a hateful vocation conducive to chills,
and denied that which I hold dear.

I remember a time not that far back,
when destructive life was what I elected.
But my pals got hitched and wives interjected
then a son born to me, quite unexpected
which knocked this mad train off its track.

So now here I sit, passing my prime.
Typing in the darkness that I've made my own,
trying to adapt to this purpose alone.
If I don't know my sin, how can I atone?
If only I could turn back time

But if I were objective, I would see;
My battling wills only have truth to tell.
Because of the meds, I'm balanced and well.
And the job pays for food and the house where I dwell
which isn't a bad place to be.

I guess I don't really miss what I had.
It was mostly a drunken and useless thing.
I now choose the quiet and comfort it brings,
and the five year old boy who thinks I'm a king
I guess things ain't really so bad.