Hannah Banana

"Hannah Banana?"

Hannah's teeth chattered. She tried to stop them, but the muscles in her jaw were aching from the constant attempt. The muscles in her entire body were hurting from trembling. She'd never been this cold. She wondered if it was possible to die from being cold. If it were possible she was sure it would be that night.

"Hannah, I think its time for the tea lights. It's getting really bad now," Jeslyn's voice broke into her half sleep daze. Her husky voice was a thing for comfort at night when Hannah was terrified of being alone. The days were fine, but the nights were long. There was just too much time to think.

They had found the unlocked shed. They had to climb over bikes and tools, over dust covered strollers and a wheelbarrow. They'd both worked up a sweat just getting to the filthy mattress at the very back of the shed. It was covered in plastic, but they easily pulled it away and curled up beneath their blanket. The blanket smelt like burnt rubber and body odour, but they were lucky that it didn't smell like piss. Their last blanket had been almost unbearable. In the six months Hannah had been without a home she'd never been so lucky. She wondered how long it would keep up. Until the end of winter, she hoped.

"How many should we use?" Hannah asked beneath chattering teeth.

"Just two. We're going to have to sit up though. There's no way we can do this safely laying down," Jeslyn told her. Jeslyn's body felt cold against Hannah's, but Jeslyn wasn't shaking.

"I don't care. I'm just so cold, Jess," Hannah said. Even her voice was shaking. She could barely get the tea light candles from her left pocket. The gloves she was wearing didn't seem to be helping at all. Neither did the multiple layers of shirts and pants. She heard that it was -21 degrees that night. At that news they knew they would need to find shelter. They both knew they would end up standing in line for a bed at the shelters all night so they went looking for a place of their own. Unlocked basements and sheds had been their targets.

"I'm not going to make it through this winter, Jess," Hannah said, trying to fight back her tears. She blamed her asshole father and his coked-out wife for ending up without a home. She wanted to visit her mother's grave, but it was too cold. It was too far. She'd never make it there alive. It almost seemed like a waste to try to stay alive now, but she didn't know how to give up.

"Yes you are. You're not considered a real street kid until you make it through a Toronto winter." Jeslyn laughed and then coughed. The cold was getting to her too.

"Who says I wanna make it through a winter? Who says I wanna be Street, huh?" Hannah had thrown off the blanket. She was ready to march herself right up to her mother's grave. She was ready to lay down on the frozen ground and just close her eyes. Maybe she wouldn't wake up. Eventually, she knew, the cold feeling would stop and that's when death would find her. That feeling couldn't come fast enough.

"I say you wanna make it through the winter. I'm working on a plan, Hannah. I went to speak to Colin tod..." Before Jeslyn couldn't finish her sentence Hannah punched her in the face. The two girls took swings at each other. They fall against the walls of the shed to avoid each other's punches. It wasn't until Hannah hit her head on the wheelbarrow and began to cry that they both stopped.

"Don't do that. Don't go to Colin," Hannah sobbed.

"Stop crying, for fuck sakes. Stop. We need to do something. I'll make us enough money to get a deposit for an apartment and then we can get real jobs. I think we'd both look great in Tim Horton's uniforms, don't you think?" Jeslyn raised one of her eye brows. Both of the girls laughed. They sat with their backs against the cold wood wall of the shed. They pulled the blanket over their laps and took the two tea light candles from the mattress and put them beneath their legs. The girls put their heads under the blanket while Jeslyn lit the first tea light. After only a moment Hannah couldn't feel the warmth. The second tea light was enough to stop her legs from shaking. Jeslyn rested her head on Hannah's shoulder. Hannah rested her head against the wall. The two girls sat there taking in the warmth.

"I'll stay awake first, okay?" Hannah said, feeling like she could use some time to think about her mother. Jeslyn didn't respond. Her breathing had already deepened. Hannah closed her eyes and tried to picture her mother's face. She tried not to think about what her mother would say about her cuddling next to a girl in some random shed. Hannah had to force things her mother would have said out of her thoughts. Instead she remembered times in the kitchen. The two of them worked up a sweat while running around, getting ready to entertain their guests. They laughed so much together in the kitchen. They laughed all the time. She remembered how when all the guests had left they would sit by the fireplace together. Her mother would allow her one glass of wine to warm her insides. Her legs would be so warm sitting next to the fire, so warm that it hurt. But she would endure it, just to stay close to her mother. It would feel like her skin was on fire, but she would ignore the pain and watch the smile on her mother's face.




SHED FIRE KILLS ONE HOMELESS TEEN

TORONTO -- Neighbours heard screams just after 5 a.m. on Saturday morning and awoke to the shed of Duncan Adams ablaze. Police and the Fire Department arrive too late to save a fifteen-year-old girl from the fire.

Jeslyn Ambrose, a fourteen-year-old homeless youth, was taken to the hospital. She is being treated for smoke inhalation and second degree burns.

Constable Gary Kaplan said the girls had nowhere else to go: "The shelters were full because of the dropping temperatures. They were just looking for some way to escape the cold. She just didn't have a chance."