Lesson #5/1

I don't know why I remember. Oh yes I do, it was the day I almost went blind due to stupidity. My brother, not the most mechanical minded individual and I were working on my car. It was a junker but it ran, got me where I had to go however, every hinge squeaked enough to make me wince. John decides a good old can of spray lubricant would silence the annoyance so he tosses a brand new can to me and asks, "here, you think you can open this up and prep the straw while I check the fluids?"

I am a female but not stupid, (I thought) so I popped off the top and pulled the straw off the side of the can. Little brother is yapping at the jaws about his bad day at work and I drop down into the front seat, drivers door propped open. I figure I'll spray the hinges while John is tinkering under the hood. The whole while I am praying the car starts after he is done. Apparently not paying full attention to what I was doing wile listening to John rant about his boss, I rest the can against my leg, turned the nuzzle searching for the hole which is the adaptor for this damn little straw. I tried inserted the straw nto the opening but it wouldn't go so I switched my grip with a finger on top the nozzle. I pushed the straw harder this time and then screamed in utter horror from the intense burning of both eyes!

I heard and felt a heavy thunk, what I found out later was John's head banging into the hood of the car when I screamed. All I could do was keep screaming, "it burns like hell, it's burning so bad and oh my God I can't see John!" He asked me what the hell I did (that of course wasn't his actual words, he was a trucker and cussed like a sailor) and I yelled at him to get me in the house. I remember him leading me from the car, the spray can still gripped in one hand and my other hand reaching out in front of me to guide me. I tried to open my eyes, all the while telling John I need water and he still demanding in a loud perturbed voice, just what the hell did I do.

I slammed the can at him and told him I sprayed the stuff right in my eyes. Now he is my brother, typical younger sibling has no sympathy at this point and calls me a idiot, saying I couldn't even do something this simple. If I could have seen where he was I would have thrown the can at his head! He eventually got me in the house, tripping me over stuff on the way so not only would I be blind but I was gonna be bruised and battered. Yeah let me explain this to my co-workers the next day! He got me to the sink, I heard the running of water, felt his hand shove my head down and then shock number two, an icy cold blast to the face! He never did quit yelling at me but he was splashing the water for me because everything was a blur. He stopped and told me to open my eyes and asked if I could see....nope I cried, literally, thinking I did permanent damage and I asked him if there was an 800 number on the can. He said I'd be fine as long as we kept dousing my eyes with the water.

It seemed like an eternity but after a while the stinging started to subside and my vision was clearing. My eyes were swollen and red but eventually I recovered. For years when I would go shopping and see that blue and yellow can on the shelf, I would blink and rub my eyes with a chuckle. Yeah it's funny now and John has never let me live it down.

______________________________________________instructor's remarks:

Great Memory Girlfriend!
I say clean it up and submit it to a contest! What a perfect rendering of a humiliating memory!
I am Laughing my butt off!
All I keep thinking is BROTHERS!! How true that he would call you stupid and then save your vision...lol
I hope you enjoyed writing it as much as I enjoyed reading it.
Your grade: A+++
Lesson 5 - 1