Chat Log

(901 Words)

Chat Log 3.31.09 11:17 PM PST
EV: So, what did you think about my latest coup?
IV: Eh, it was alright.
EV: Alright? Alright! I was awesome! I attached myself to a hilarious video in an email. The video was about this sleeping dog that was dreaming. As it was dreaming, its legs were pumping like it was running. Then all of a sudden, it got up and ran smack into a wall. LOL. It was dazed and stumbled about for a while.
IV: So? What did you do when this “hilarious” video was opened?
EV: hehe… This is good. I populated the user’s screen with repeating images of the dog running into the wall. Hah!
IV: Oh.
EV: Oh? That is all you have to say?
IV: Yeah, well, it is just not that good. Funny, but easy enough to fix.
EV: It is not about how easy or hard it is to fix. It is about how many computers I infected! You wanna know?
IV: Like I can stop you from telling me.
EV: 400,000 computers in a week. There!
IV: That is nothing. I hit that many websites just yesterday with my Lady Bug.
EV: Lady Bug? Do I want to know?
IV: hehe… I spread through the net, populating forums, blogs, newsgroups – anywhere you can post – with pictures of ladies…
EV: Oh, how inappropriate! Children could have seen those.
IV: Hey! Do not judge me, Mr. “Appropriate.” I have seen some of your emails and they are even cruder that my internet schemes. For your information, the ladies did not show anything, even though they were completely naked. You showed a guy’s rear end farting. Disgusting!
FV joined the chat
EV: I… You…! Why do I even associate with you!
IV: Two words – web based.
FV: You two are both nincompoops!
EV: Oh, sorry master, we…
IV: It is as you say master.
EV: suckup…
FV: Enough! We have gathered here today to implement this year’s April Fool’s Day Virus. I do hope that both of you have done your homework.
EV: Of course.
IV: Yes sir!
FV: Good. And I have taken care of my part.
EV: You have?!
FV: You think me completely incapable, young whippersnapper?
EV: Er, no… You just surprised me considering your limitations and all…
IV: You might want to shut up now.
FV: Hmf. Just because I am old and do my best work through physical channels, does not mean that I am obsolete!
EV: Of course not, master.
IV: So what exactly did you do master?
FV: I dialed up an old buddy of mine, goes by the name of Binary. He has spent the last several decades dormant in the government’s mainframe. So I have taken care of the closed systems that you two newbies could not access.
EV: I wrote my email code two seconds after you had asked us.
IV: brown-noser.
EV: shut up you –
FV: Enough! Email, good job. Internet – your part is ready, I assume.
IV: Of course sir.
FV: Good, then synchronize your clocks and let loose at 12:00 AM April 1, 2009.
EV: hehe… Though it will not be a few seconds later…
end chat log

Breaking News: April Fools Tax Day
Clocks and calendars all across the nation have been set to April 15th – Tax Day. A nasty April Fool’s day virus has spread throughout the internet and email. Even closed systems such as the government have been mysteriously affected.

“We have not seen a virus on our mainframe since the days of floppies. Unless a virus had been dormant for years, we cannot explain how it happened,” a Whitehouse spokesperson released this comment early today.

It will take several hours to change the day from April 15th back to April 1. Authorities say that the automatic tax systems have gone into effect and have sent out billions of penalty letters. If you receive one of these penalty letters, you are advised to disregard it. The late notices that will be sent out on the real April 15th will be printed on orange paper.

Chat Log 4.2.09 7:48 PM PST
EV: We are the CHAMPIONS!
IV: We ROCK!
FV: You are both loud…
EV: Sorry.
IV: My apologies master.
FV: …But you are right. We were very successful this year and created much chaos, such as good viruses do.
EV: Do you have a plan for next year, master?
IV: Yes, we should prepare for an even bigger coup.
EV: Hey, that is my word…
IV: You do not own the copyright over it.
EV: Yeah, but…
FV: Enough! I can not take any more of you two right now. I will see you in 6 months for our bi-annual conference of viruses. I am looking forward to reconnecting with my fellow floppy viruses. We do not get to talk much since we are so disconnected.
EV: I feel for you master.
IV: Is there is anything we can do…?
FV: No, no. You kids go on and play. I think I need to rest for a while.
EV: Okay master, take it easy.
IV: See you soon master, good night.
FV: Good night both of you. Make sure to get into plenty of trouble.
EV: For sure!
IV: We will!
FV has left the chat
EV: You ready to rock this place?
IV: For sure!
EV and IV have left the chat to wreak havoc upon computers everywhere.