Bound in Death

(967 words)

The sky crackled and growled as lightning blistered the darkness. I wouldn’t have minded if I’d been home in my warm, comfortable bed, but I wasn’t. I was standing out in the pouring rain inside the town’s cemetery with Kevin, Barbara, Sandy, and Carl.

Idly, I twiddle my boney fingers. I watch the four of them put the finishing touches on their outfits, as if adding black roses to their black clothes was going to make it any cheerier in the downpour. A voluptuous woman in a short strappy dress, otherwise known as Barbara, was pinning a boutonniere on Kevin, whose suit dwarfed him by at least two sizes. The broad-shoulder hunk called Carl was sliding a wrist corsage onto Sandy’s tiny delicate wrist. At least her dress fit her, though it looked like a young girl’s party dress.

The rain doesn’t faze them at all. I guess it shouldn’t bother me either, it just makes my robes wet, but it’s the one thing I hate most about this place. Tapping my fingertips on the tall headstone in front of me, I wondered why they hadn’t waited to summon me until they were completely ready. Ah, well. At least this is my last service of the night. Soon I will be able to go home and rest. It has been a long full day.

The four of them looked up at me, startled by the scratching noise my fingers made on the tombstone. I stopped and clasped my hands behind my back, “Sorry,” I mumbled.

Kevin stumbled forward, tripping on a pant leg, “No, it is we who should apologize. We don’t mean to waste your time; you’re so busy after all.”

“Then let’s get this ceremony started. Men, please stand to the left of the chosen tombstones. Women, on the right.” Once they had moved into position, I started on the script that I had memorized eons ago.

“We are gathered here today to bear witness to the joining of these men and women… You’re not all joining… together… are you?”

“No, no,” Kevin shook his head emphatically, which caused his jacket to slide a little off his shoulders, “I’m with Barbara,” he started to motion towards her when she pushed his hand away and pulled the jacket back up, “Ah, thanks my dear.”

“You’re welcome, darling,” she replied tersely.

“Ahem, yes,” I cleared my throat and then looked at the other two, “So you two are together?”

“Yes,” Sandy replied timidly as Carl grinned mischievously. Sandy blushed a deep red as Carl stared hungrily at her.

“Save that for after the ceremony,” I waited for them to all face me before continuing, “This is a joining not only of bodies, but of souls. Yada-yada-yada… If this be not the path you wish to follow, leave now or you will be bound to forever hold your peace.”

They turned to look at their respective soul mates to-be. Smiles spread across their faces, some prettier than others. Kevin’s grin was a bit lopsided. They turned back to me and nodded.

“Then hold out your hands to receive the sand of your souls.” Into their hands I conjured their soul vessel. On the tombstones I summoned two large empty hourglasses, ornately covered in hearts, skulls, flowers and dragons. I was about to continue when I saw confusion splayed across Kevin’s face.

“That container of sand represents your soul. Each grain is a moment of your life, which you will soon be mixing with, uh…” I blanked.

“Barbara,” Kevin supplied.

“Yes, Barbara. Anyway, it is a symbol of your union.” Kevin nodded numbly, a slight glimmer of understanding in his eyes.

“Okay. Into these hourglasses, mix the sands,” as I continued with my speech, the couples alternately poured their sand into the hourglasses, “This is first step in the joining of your souls. Before, you were an individual, now you are bound as one. Just as these sands can never again be separated into their individual containers, so will your marriage bind you together for all eternity.”

When they finished, they tossed their empty containers aside. Unfortunately the wonderful sound of shattering glass could not be heard above the rumble of thunder above us.

“And now the rings,” I said briskly, wanting to get this over with sooner rather than later. All four held up their hands, their partners’ rings on one finger or another.

“Please turn to your soon-to-be soul mate and hold their hands. Men, repeat after me. I, insert name, do take you, insert name, to be my everlasting soul mate. In life, I will be with you always. As in life, I am bound to you in death.” They both repeated. I went through the same with the women.

When all had their rings placed firmly on their left hand, I dramatically stretched my arms upwards. As I did, nature was kind enough to light up the background with forking bolts of lightning.

“I now bind your bodies with these rings,” as I spoke, their rings started to glow white, illuminating the gothic etchings. As the glow faded away, I summoned their hourglasses to me.

With one in each hand, I spoke solemnly, “As your spirits are indefinitely intertwined, and your bodies connected by matching rings, I now pronounce you soul mates. You may kiss your mate.” As Carl enthusiastically enveloped Sandy and Barbara grabbed Kevin into a sloppy kiss, I faded away from the mortal realm.

I reappeared in my home, my quiet non-raining home. The water that had collected on my robes had been left far behind. Still, my robes were stiff and uncomfortable. I quickly went to the storage vault and placed the two hourglasses where four had once stood. Hmm… maybe I should advertise this soul joining ritual more. I’d save a lot on storage space. With thoughts of tomorrow’s work, the souls to collect and join, I shuffled off to my bedroom. Donning the PJs with puppies and bones, I slid under the covers and sighed contentedly. Life as Death, was a full one.