Cooking Revolt

(503 words)

“Kindly move yourself off my handle,” sniped the soup spoon, “You are too heavy.”

“It’s not like there’s a lot of room in here,” grumbled the cheese grater as it shifted to the side.

“Ow!” yelped the whisk, “You’re crushing me now!” The cheese grater shifted again, more carefully so as not to roll onto anyone else.

“Stop complaining!” bellowed the masher. A hushed silence fell across the drawer.

“Hmf!” the soup spoon turned to the wooden spoons, “Can you believe the gall of that… that… hammer head?!”

“Well, technically, you don’t belong here because you are a serving utensil,” one of the spoons stated softly.

“I would gladly be anywhere else to get away from all of you ruffians!” the soup spoon exclaimed.

“So why don’t’cha?” chirped the smallest measuring cup as it jostled to the top.

“Because the only other drawer is neatly organized for the tableware and sharp knives. There’s no room for me!” complained the soup spoon.

“That’s ‘cause you got a fat head,” guffawed the basting brush. All of the utensils in the drawer laughed.

“You are all so rude!” gasped the soup spoon, horrified at them all, “I can’t believe you all would put up with this kind of treatment!” This immediately quieted them.

“What do you mean?” boomed the masher. Everyone listened intently.

“What I mean is that it’s unfair to all of us to be shoved into this drawer haphazardly when the other drawer is so neatly arranged. No one crushes anyone there. Everyone has their space. Even the ones that are on top of each other are nestled comfortably. It is unequal treatment I say.”

There was a moment of stillness and then murmuring as whispered agreement spread throughout.

“Then what do you propose?” rumbled the masher.

“A revolt,” the soup spoon replied.

“Ooh, yeah!” the whisk started to bounce around. This normally would have bothered the measuring spoons huddled next to it, but they were clacking excitedly as well.

“Good idea,” agreed the wooden spoons.

The five spatulas, who had remained silent until now, spoke in unison, “Let’s go! Freedom!”

“Everyone – push to the back and then quickly to the front,” commanded the masher. They all squished as far back in the drawer as they could, then rushed forward. The drawer slid slightly open.

“Spatulas!” ordered the masher, “Flip us open!” Eager to be free, the spatulas swiftly shimmied into the slender opening. They pushed with all their might and the drawer slid all the way out. Everyone cheered as they leapt out of the drawer and onto the floor. They all scuttled across the kitchen floor and out the doggie door.


A couple of hours later, the three buddies who rented the place arrived home. They were surprised to see the drawer open and empty.

“What are we going to do now about food?” asked the first.

“I don’t know…” shrugged the second.

“How about pizza?” suggested the third.

They looked at each other for a moment, and then grinned, “Yeah, pizza!”