Swear an Oath to the Church

Father Schaktel could deliver a fiery sermon. His voice thundered across the loudspeakers of Our Lady of Grace Catholic Church, situated in a small town with a population of 900 residents. But on this day, his voice had to compete with another sound, a sweet female voice uttering foul language. The parishioners in attendance shook at Father's words, and then winced at the unwelcome and unexpected sounds, which were drowning out the priest's gospel reading.

Ray and Jill lived in a small house right across the street from the church. Although they were members of the church, they often found reasons to play hooky from Sunday service, even though it was only a few steps away from their front door. This was one of those days of delinquency.

Their first born, Kyle, was still a baby, so the young couple was protective. One of their measures to ensure the safety of their precious son, was to have a Fisher Price speaker system in the nursery to monitor Kyle while he was sleeping.

On one of the many Sundays that Jill skipped church, she sat watching TV with a friend. They had the sound monitoring system turned on while baby Kyle slept in his bedroom.

When Kyle awoke, and began to stir, his cooing and gurgling trickled from the remote speaker in the living room. Jill and her friend went into Kyle's room to retrieve him. As they entered the baby's room, they were still discussing the TV show. Jill used colorful language to describe her opinions of the characters on the show. Her sweet voice was filled with vile language as she described the infidelities of the villainess.

What Jill didn't know was that the radio frequency on the Fisher Price device was exactly the same frequency as that of the sound system used in the church across the street. Jill's entire colorful tirade was broadcast over the speaker system during mass, creating quite a stir among the worshipers, not to mention the embarrassment it caused the priest. Father stood with a stunned face, not knowing what to say to his flock. It was clear to the residents of this close knit community who spoke these foul words.

The concerned priest later relayed a message to Jill through her mother-in-law that she should change her frequency and her language. Also attending church would be a good idea. She had a lot of material to bring to confession.

(408 words)