Waking up Baby

Tough day. Clients can be a pain in the behind. I could have puched out that creep in the presentation. A quick shower and then off to bed. That bed looks so good, I think I'll sleep like a baby. No need to even count sheep. One...two...three...

"ZZZZZZ..."

Oh oh. I can't believe I did that. I think I wet the bed. I've never done that before. No, it feels dry. Must have been dreaming. I have a bit of gas though, I'll just let it loose – oh no, a wet one, gosh what's wrong with me. What's this around me? My underwear feels a bit bulky – I don't wear underwear to bed. What gives? I can't roll over. I'm stuck on my back. This must be a dream. All I can do is jiggle my arms and legs.

Who's that coming into my bedroom? Whoa, what a babe. A little pudgy around the middle, but great tits. Do I know her? I guess I should be polite and say hello.

"Goo goo." Who said that? What was that noise? Was that me?

"How's my little man this morning" Is she talking to me? I must know her.

"Ga ga." There's that noise again. What's wrong with my voice?

"Does my little boy need to be changed?" She's talking to me. Changed? Looks like I have changed.

"Gurgle, gurgle." Why can't I get my words out?

"Up we go, time to get a new diaper on." She just whisked me from my bed like I was a little baby...wait, I am a baby. How'd that happen?

"Off with the diaper." Oh that's cold.

"Waaa, waaa." Gosh, I'm crying like a baby. That air is cold. Phwew, that stinks. Is that my mess?

"There we go, all cleaned up, now for some oil." Oh, that feels good. Rub a bit more – oh yeah, down a bit. I've never been rubbed like that, not in that spot. At least not without begging first.

"Is my little guy hungry?" Now that you mention it, I could use a burger, and maybe a beer. A bit of the hair of the dog...what's she doing now. Hey, she's taking off her top – without me even asking. Oh yeah, look at those jugs. She's stacked. Now what? Wow, right in my mouth, that's great. Ug, but it tastes awful.

"grrrrrp."

"Oh, my little cheese factory. You spit it all up." Yeah, the stuff sucks – oh, bad pun. I guess it isn't polite to puke all over her like that. OK, I'll suck it up – so to speak. Still it takes a bit of getting use to. I like having her tit in my mouth, but the milk sure isn't great. I'd rather have a Bud.

"Now for a little burp." Oh, oh. Over the shoulder. Stop hitting my back.

"Buuurrrrp." I never burp like that. Especially in front of a lady. Oh no, I've puked all over her shoulder. What a pig I am.

"Now I have to clean that off. I'll just put you down for a bit."

"Waaa, waaa." Boy, I can sure beller.

"Just a minute, mommy's got to clean this off, and put something on." No don't put something on. I like you just the way you are.

"Waaa, waaa." Maybe that'll catch her attention.

"I'm sorry little guy, you'll just have to lay there and cry for a minute." Aw, crap, that didn't work. Guess I'll just pound the snot out of this toy hanging in my face.

"Good boy, you like your new toy, don't you?" I thought you were my new toy.

"OK, mommy's done. Time for some cuddles." Oh, I like that. Rock, rock, rock, rock. I can see why kids shut up when their mom holds them. This is great. I think I could get use to this.

"Rock-a-bye baby, in the tree top..." I prefer her jugs to her voice, but what the heck. This feels good. I think I'll just close my eyes and.....

"ZZZZZ..."

"Nap time, little guy, mommy loves you."

(683 words)