Like An Unrequited Love Song

He held her hair, wrapping it around his left hand while his right rubbed circles on her back. The movement made her feel nauseous, but she said nothing. She cried into the toilet bowl while listening to him talk.

"I told you he was going to be there. You always let Jake get the better of you. It makes me so upset to see you do that to yourself. If it were once or twice I'd let it slide, but you always do this and look how it ends up. Why didn't you just come out with me tonight?" He sighed and stopped rubbing her back to lift a glass of water to her lips. She slurped in a sip, but it didn't make her feel any better.

"Like you're one to talk," she said before spitting into the toilet. Her stomach and throat burned. Everything was still spinning. It felt like it was never going to end. It was turning into one of the worst weeks of her life.

"I knew you were going to say that," he chuckled, resuming the circular motion on her back, "But the difference between you and I? I didn't get black out drunk then call you in the middle of the night to drag you away from a good party, right? You're lucky I didn't drink."

"You're lucky you didn't drink. You would have made an ass out of yourself in front of Kyle and you know it," she tried to laugh, but her body hurt. The thought of Kyle hurt too. It added pains of jealousy to her already cramping stomach. She threw up again and cried some more.

"Even this wasted you're still so perspective. That never ceases to amaze me," he laughed. He tucked her hair into her shirt and fell back against the wall. It had been one too many weekends he'd spent sitting on that bathroom floor, holding her hair, rubbing her back. He was wondering why she did it to herself over and over. She never did tell him what happened between Jake and her. She didn't give away any clues to why she got so upset. He felt like something was missing. Like she was hiding what really was going on. He knew better then to push her. Too many questions and she'd put up a wall.

"I'm a functioning alcoholic," she slurred, resting her cheek on the toilet seat and staring at him. Her make-up was smudge around her blood-shot eyes. Her face was gleaming of perspiration. He brushed strands of hair from her face and said, "You've got to tell me why you're so sad."

It was the wrong thing to say. The tears started all over again. She covered her face with her hands and pulled her bare feet closer to her body. He sat up and said, "I'm sorry. You don't have to tell me any thing yet, but I think you should. I think you'd feel better."

"I wouldn't. I can't," she cried. Her voice echoed in the toilet bowl. She heard her own words and sobbed harder.

"I'm going to get a bucket for beside your bed, just in case. Take some deep breaths," he told her while getting to his feet. He kissed the top of her head and headed into the kitchen to see what he could find.

"What do you see in Jake? He's an asshole," he called as he walked past the bathroom and into her room. She could hear him putting on a CD and was thankful for the soothing sounds of Ryan Adams' voice.

"He's hot and he wants me."

"That's it?" He asked, coming back into the bathroom. He grabbed her toothbrush, put some tooth paste on it and handed it to her.

"That's it," she said before putting the toothbrush into her mouth.

He wouldn't understand. She definitely couldn't tell him.

"I can't believe that's the only reason you like him. You get yourself so worked up over him," he sighed, handing her the glass of water. She gargled and spit into the toilet.

Once she finished brushing her teeth, he helped her to her feet and they held onto each other as they headed towards her bedroom. Once she'd gotten under the covers, he switched off the light and climbed over her legs. Flopping onto the bed, he told her, "You need to stay away from Jake. Maybe then you'll find someone you really like for reasons not so shallow."

She wanted to tell him she had, but instead she just pulled the blankets up around her neck and responded, "Maybe you should stay away from Kyle then."

"It's different with Kyle," he whispered, "He's straight anyway. It's not going to go anywhere."

"Then why hang around him?"

"Because I like him, obviously."

"You need to stay away from Kyle. Maybe then you'll find some guy who is actually capable of liking you back." She shivered and another tear slide down her cheek. He moved against her back and tucked his knees behind hers.

"I know. You're right," he told her. His voice was heavy with sleep. His breathing was becoming shallow. He draped his arm over her stomach and said, "But we've got each other anyways, alright?"

When she didn't answer, he whispered into her ear, "I love you, Stella."

She couldn't sleep while she could feel his breath on her neck. She couldn't sleep while his body was touching hers. She couldn't sleep because she wanted to tell him, more than anything, that she loved him too.


Word count: 927