I'm Sorry

I’m Sorry

It was a November day
And I was blown away
When I was woken up
At 5:45 in the morning
On a school day

When I came home
I fell down on my bones
No one had ever seen me so sad
The tears came pouring down, and had no intention of stopping
I had also never felt so alone

I wish I could see you again forever
Because you were supposed to live forever
And without you, every time my heart beats, it says, “Ow, I can’t take this anymore,
I wish the pain would just go away, but I know you are always here to stay”
And my heart feels as though this hole inside will never go away, and that it’s here to stay forever

When someone told me that you were dead
I was about to take off my head
I couldn’t understand
Why this would happen to me
I was so mad and sad, I turned beat red

I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you
I wish I could do
Something to change that choice I made on that day
If only you were here
Then everything would be okay too

If you were here
I would see with my eyes, and listen with my ears
I would never miss a thing anymore
I would pay attention to everything that happened, and would never again be the blind or the deaf
If only you were here

Since you’re no longer near
You’ll constantly be seeing puddles of tears
All because you’re my best friend and the coolest person and dad ever
And because it makes me sad when I see daughters with their fathers having the times of their lives
But I am scared of not fulfilling anyone’s dreams, mainly yours, and to me, there’s no greater fear

If only you could hear
The tears
I cry, then you’d hear all the pain deep inside
It never wants to be set free, because it enjoys killing me
I will never be set free of my fears

When someone told me that you were dead
I was about to take off my head
I couldn’t understand
Why this would happen to me
I was so mad and sad, I turned beat red

I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you
I wish I could do
Something to change that choice I made on that day
If only you were here
Then everything would be okay too

I wish you could come back
Because without you I lack
Of everything that did happen, that is happening, and that will happen, after you died
And without you I’m the person we both never wanted me to be, but it’s sad to say that I am
Because without you I lack

Leaving me
Was a bad choice to make with He
Because of what we both have seen from the second you died
But I know you knew this wouldn’t happen, right, I probably brought this upon myself, right
But you should have never made this choice with He, without consulting it with me

If I could repay you
I would do
Whatever you would want me to accomplish
Knowing what I know now,
I would do anything for you

When someone told me that you were dead
I was about to take off my head
I couldn’t understand
Why this would happen to me
I was so mad and sad, I turned beat red

I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you
I wish I could do
Something to change that choice I made on that day
If only you were here
Then everything would be okay too

If I told the world what I felt
No one would understand what I dealt
I don’t want the world to see me because if I told them, I think most of them wouldn’t comprehend
How much you meant to me
So this is what would happen if I told the world how I felt

Being truthful to me is so important
You were always truthful, and to me, that was significant
But I haven’t been truthful to many people
But I was when you were here, but I can no longer be that person I used to be
And that’s why, since you died, to me, it’s been so more important

The time that I spent with you went by so quickly
It felt as though I snapped my fingers and you were gone in a jiffy
If it had lasted forever, I would have been happier than ever
But with you now gone, I don’t know what I’ll do, without you by my side at my every moments need
I just never imagined that you’d be gone and out of my life in such a hurry

When someone told me that you were dead
I was about to take off my head
I couldn’t understand
Why this would happen to me
I was so mad and sad, I turned beat red

I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you
I wish I could do
Something to change that choice I made on that day
If only you were here
Then everything would be okay too

I wish that I could wake up from this long nightmare of pain
Because I never seem to gain
Anything from it
It just takes away all the passion I had deep inside
And every second, it just keeps opening a bigger hole in my heart, and makes me feel more pain

I’m sorry to of had to say goodbye
I never imagined I’d be looking up to you in the heavens and saying I love you, miss you, and bye
But I have been for the past four and a half years and forever more until we see each other again
And we will be reunited, and even though it might feel like forever, I promise you that it won’t be
But, goodbye my best friend, it’s not the end, I love you, I miss you, and dad, for now, goodbye

So this is who I am
You put all this on my shoulders and bam
I turn into the person no one ever thought they’d see me as
All my emotions stuck inside and now known by many people as no emotions, or ne
But, all I can say is that I am sorry for who I have become, and for who I am

When someone told me that you were dead
I was about to take off my head
I couldn’t understand
Why this would happen to me
I was so mad and sad, I turned beat red

I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you
I wish I could do
Something to change that choice I made on that day
If only you were here
Then everything would be okay too