No Self-Esteem?

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May 2009 ABA Newsletter is here!

Self esteem is all about how much we feel valued, loved, accepted and thought well of by others- and how how much we value, love and accept ourselves. People with healthy self-esteem are able to feel good about themselves, appreciate their own worth, and take pride in their abilities, skills and accomplishments.

People with low self-esteem may feel as if no one will like them or accept them or that they can't do well in anything. Verbal abuse can cause this along with other forms of abuse. Putting someone else down in any way, causes untold hurt to that person. People need to feel accepted and what they have to say is important too.

We all experience problems with self-esteem at certain times in our lives--especially when were young and trying to figure out who we really are and where do we fit in with the world. What you go through in this life shapes your future thoughts and actions. The good news is because everyone's self image changes over time, self-esteem is not fixed for life. So if you feel that your feelings isn't all they should be you can improve it.

Two things in particular stand out- how we see ourselves and how others see and treat us- can have a big impact on our self-esteem.

Obviously, self esteem can be damaged when someone whose acceptance is important to us constantly puts you down. Teasing someone can get out of hand, Some that have recieved a review or rating with rude comments attached can be a long time in getting past that. Family may put you down or well meaning friends.

To me, these types of things come under a form of abuse. But that is my thought and some may not agree with me. Words and actions cut deep and take eons to start healing, sometimes they never heal.

But criticism doesn't have to come from other people. Some of it can come from deep inside of yourself, an "inner critic" a voice inside that seems to find fault with everything you do.

Over time, listening to a negative inner voice can harm a person's self-esteem just as much as if it was coming from another person. Some people get so used to that inner critic being there they don't even know when their putting theirself down.

Often people who have low self-esteem often DO have the qualities they admire in others, they just can't see that they do because their self image has been trained that way. So you need to retrain your inner thoughts. This is not easy to do but you can do it! Just take it one step at a time as you go.

Steps To Improving Self-Esteem

Try to stop thinking negative thoughts about yourself. Quit focusing on your shortcomings, start thinking positive. Don't listen to that inner voice that is negative.

View mistakes as learning opportunities. If you get a review that is negative or rude just pass it by but don't let it stop you from going forward. So many on here give great reviews and love helping you improve if you need it. Just hang in there!

Try new things. Never give up trying. Stand up and be counted!

. Take pride in your opinions and ideas. We all think differently and have our own opinions. Be willing to listen and communicate.

By the way here are some worthy auctions and contests to enter if you would lke to step out and get involved! Every member that takes the time to set these contests and auctions up, works very hard at this and hopes to get a good turnout to help other groups! The very least we all can do is pass it along, donate or join in.

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. Make a contribution for a good cause! A lot of groups on Writing.Com need help and would love to hear from you!