The Gay Scam

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May, June 2009 round


"Hey, did you see how she came on to me?" Bob laughed, as he and Tom relived the evening.

"Yeah, every time I came near you, she snuggled up closer to you." Tom jumped in.

"And when I touched your arm, I thought she would blow me, right then and there. Anyway I got her number. I'm sure she will work on getting me totally converted."

Bob and Tom had devised the perfect scam for picking up girls. They pretended to be gay, and let the girls try to save them.

The thought of actually being gay, repulsed both Bob and Tom. But they got a kick out of pretending. They were careful not to get too carried away. No kissing or holding hands, just occasional touching.

Not quite middle-aged, the two business men had been friends for years. They loved going out together and trying different ways of picking up chicks. They were usually successful. But their policy was catch and release. Neither was interested in a long term commitment, just some fun. The "gay scam" was their latest ruse, and it worked better than any of the previous techniques, which usually involved some form of lies and deception.

"Look at this." Bob showed Tom an ad in the newspaper. "A singles cruise, down the California coast. There'll be lots of babes on that ship. What do you think?"

"Wow, we can't pass that one up. Any ideas on M.O. for this one?" Tom was game for anything.

"Let's do the gay thing. It seems to work the best. We will pretend to be a gay couple trying to look straight." Bob had it all figured out.

Bob booked the five-day cruise – one cabin to share.

"Looks like we have to share a bed." Bob looked at the tiny room on the cruise ship. He expected two single beds, but for some reason they ended up with a small double bed. The cruise was fully booked, so there was no changing rooms."

"Just keep your hands to yourself." Tom joked.

"No problem there." Bob chuckled at the despicable thought of having physical contact with his long time friend.

The first dinner on the cruise saw Bob and Tom sitting at a table with three attractive young ladies. Bob's rustic good looks had been enough to coax an invitation from the ladies earlier on the deck. Bob sat to Tom's right, close enough to look suspicious, but not overtly gay. Bob was sure the ladies noticed the "chemistry" between the two guys. During the joking and talking, he saw some whispering among the girls. The bait was set. Not wanting to go for the kill too soon, Bob and Tom excused themselves after the post dinner drinks. They walked away from the table shoulder to shoulder in a suggestive pose.

"We've got 'em." Bob laughed as they crawled into opposite sides of the bed. "Tomorrow we'll step it up a notch, and see if they try to reel us in." The two he-men fell asleep in the narrow bed.

As light trickled in the portal, Bob's eyes opened to see Tom's face inches from his own. Bob's right arm was draped over Tom's waist. Fortunately, Tom was still sound asleep and didn't have to share in this embarrassment. Bob eased his arm off Tom, slipped out of the bed and stood by the window. He was rattled. He didn't like how he was feeling.

On deck, the guys again met up with the three ladies from dinner. From the looks the ladies were giving, it was clear they were hooked. Each female did their best to create opportunities for physical contact with the guys. Laughing at jokes, while putting a hand on a knee; arm on a shoulder while relaying a story; whispering into an ear. The girls had already started their remedial program for the gay guys.

Again, Bob and Tom kept the tease going. They left the ladies, with a promise to join them again for dinner. While walking away, Tom whispered to Bob, "See what this does for them." He slipped his hand into Bob's. Bob shuddered, as their hands touched, but it felt warm.

At dinner, the five unlikely friends enjoyed another evening of fun and laughter. The girls kept pushing themselves on the guys, who tried not to reciprocate. Let the girls call the shots. We don't need to push. It wouldn't have taken much coaxing to cull out one of the females for the finale. But for the guys, the chase was everything – maybe the only thing. Again, the guys slipped away early leaving the girls unfulfilled.

The next morning, Bob found himself in the same position as the previous. This time, however, Tom's eyes were staring back at him. After an awkward pause, the two guys jumped out of opposite sides of the bed without speaking of their predicament.

Another full day and another round of making the girls try to convert them. This time when they left the table, Tom and Bob linked hands on their way back to the room. Neither flinched.

Too much alcohol at dinner, made the guys giggle like little girls, as they relived the events of the past few days. More drinks, as they laughed themselves to sleep fully clothed.

Bob awoke in the morning and realized he was hung over, and completely naked. Tom, also naked, was still snoring in bed - with his arms and legs wrapped around Bob. At first Bob felt warm and comfortable. When he became fully aware of the situation, he jumped from the bed and ran to the bathroom. Was he sweating from the alcohol, or from what was happening (or had happened) to him?

When Tom awoke, they took turns in the bathroom, getting ready for another day. Neither said a word until they joined some other vacationers at the breakfast table.

Later, Bob broke the silence between them. His tone implied urgency. "OK, tonight's the night. We go for the kill. You go first. As soon as one of the ladies starts to put the move on, you give in, and invite her back to the room. I'll stay here with the crowd until you're done. Take your time and enjoy. Later it's my turn."

Tom agreed, and they readied themselves for the evening.

All went according to plan. Debbie started to hit on Tom, while Karen and Jane jointly put the move on Bob. Tom and Debbie disappeared – to the cabin.

Tom unlocked the door and Debbie grabbed him and threw him on the bed. They started a passionate embrace and Debbie started to disrobe.

Tom went ice cold and looked at Debbie, "I'm sorry, I just can't."

"I guess you two are too far gone to save." Debbie accepted defeat.

"No, it's not that, it's...not what you think." Tom tried a feeble explanation.

"No matter." Debbie interjected. "It was a good try, wasn't it?"

After their short absence, the two returned to the table, where Bob was still entertaining the other two ladies.

At an opportune moment, Bob whispered to Tom, "What happened? That was quick."

Tom responded, "I'll fill you in later. It didn't quite go as expected."

The girls now sensed that their efforts were becoming unsuccessful and started to back off. Bob and Tom appeared somber and silent. They had lost their fun loving élan. The two guys drank, instead of laughing and joking with the girls. After a dull evening, the two somber, but tipsy men headed back to their cabin. Tom's hand touched Bob's as they walked away from the table. Bob's fingers entwined with Tom's as they strolled back to their cabin.

Tom whispered to Bob with an alcohol induced slur, "When I was with her, all I could see was your face. I wanted to be with you, not with her. I love the thrill of the chase, but the fun is doing it with you. I don't want any of them, I want you." He couldn't believe what he had just said. Bob remained silent.

They knew this was the last night on the ship. As they entered their cabin, they dropped their pretense and embraced. All of the suppressed feelings of the two friends came out in passionate physical contact. Neither spoke a word, as they showed each other the feelings that had been repressed for so long. They tasted the forbidden fruit.

The morning saw the ship back at the original port. Bob and Tom held hands, with no shame, as they strolled to the ramp that lead off the ship. As they descended towards the pier, their hands loosened and separated. By the time they reached the parking lot, there was enough space between their bodies to place either one of their sports cars. Each entered their respective cars and drove away. That was the last time Bob and Tom ever saw, or spoke to each other.

(approx 1500 words)