Buffy's Life

"Outside! I want to go outside.  Read my bouncing body!"

"Oh Buffy, you are so cute."

"Enough already with the cute business.  I know I'm cute; you know I'm cute.  We've been there before.  What, have I changed!  No!  Outside now! Woof! Woof!"

"Oh, perhaps you need to go outside.  Is that it, outside?"

"Finally! She gets it.  She's slow, but she's mine."

"Ah! The pause that refreshes.  She would have gone ballistic if I'd peed on the floor."

"Good girl, go potty pee-pee.  Do you have to poo-poo?

"Agggggg!  I am sure glad we live in the country where no one can hear the insipid way she speaks to be about my personal business.  Does she think I need it advertised?  How would she like it if I went around telling the cats, 'Oh, look, Mom is going pee-pee.  Good Mom.'  I doubt it."

"Come, Buffy.  Back in the house."

"Orders, orders.  Back in the house, go pee-pee.  Blah, blah, blah.  But  I know who puts the kibbles in the bowl and scratches me behind my ears.  Compliance has its strong points, but just once I'd like to be able to run free without her blasted interference."

"Buffy!  Come!"

"Okay, okay.  I'm coming.  Don't get in a snit!"

"Good girl!  You are such a good little girl."

"Girl!  I'm a dog and female dog's are bitches.  But do you hear her say, 'Good bitch!"  No!  I get this human title called "girl."  What's wrong with being a bitch?  That's what I want to know."

"Oh, isn't that cute!  Angel kitty is rubbing all over you, Buffy.  He must really like you."

"If she wasn't looking I'd bite the tail off this piece of worthless fluff.  Can it, Bubba!  Enough already with the fur up my nose!"

"Come, Buffy.  It's time to give you a bath.  Buffy, Buffy, where are you?"

"Like I'm going to announce, 'Here I am hiding behind the desk.'  Does she think I'm nuts.  I hate baths.  I look like a drowned rat; she even says so.  I smell just fine, thank you.  I don't need a bath."

"Oh, there you are, silly girl.  Let's go take our bath now."

"Our!  Like she's going to rub the flea tick shampoo all over HER head and get it in HER eyes!  Looks to me like there is only one of us getting soaking wet here."

"Now you are all clean and smell so pretty, Buffy."

"Yeah, and I intend to do something about that as soon as you let me outside again.  I'll roll in whatever I can find to get this stink off me so I can smell like a respectable dog again."

"Time to eat.  Here are your kibbles."

"Now, she's talking.  What!  Is this all I get?  Where's the beef, the cheese, the fat, the grease?  What was that word she said the other day?  Diet?  Yeah, that was it.  She's on a diet...and so am I.  If this means no fat or grease, aggggggg!"

"Doesn't her want her kibby-poos?  Not hungry?"

"Kibby-poos!  Get real.  Am I hungry? I'm starving!  Can't she see that I'm fading away, a mere shadow of my former portly self.  What if I just fall over and faint?  No, then she'd just take me to the vet and he'd put that thing up my butt.  I'll eat the kibble."

"I'll bet you're glad we took you in when someone else dumped you out."

"Oh, yeah.  Sometimes I forget those days.  There I was hungry, tired, scared wondering what the heck I had done to deserve being tossed out on the road.  Then this lady who is now my Mom came rushing over and picked up my scruffy self.  She didn't care that I was dirty; she hugged me anyway and told me I was beautiful.  She fed me some kibbles and gave me fresh water.  Of course, she did give me a bath - yuck!  But I also got a cool red collar and a warm, safe place to sleep.  Hummmm.  Guess I've got it pretty good. I'd better go over and say thanks. Sucking up time."

"Oh, Buffy.  You are a sweet girl, aren't you!"

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