Hey Soul

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Hey Soul,

How are you doing?  It’s been a while since we’ve talked.  I haven’t been up to much as you know.  Kinda had some rough times and ignored you for a bit.  Sorry about that.  But I’m back again, my regular mean-o self.  Well not always you know.  I’ve been having a tough time hiding it all the time lately.  Don’t tell anybody okay?  Do you age like me?  Grow like me?

I wonder you know, were you always here and like this or have there been times when you left.  I mean I threw you away a couple of times, insisted I had no soul and all that.  But were you with me during those times?  I think maybe you were.  Even when I denied you I was true, or tried to be anyway.  It was you that gave me, or maybe where I found is a better way to say it, the strength to keep going.  You had me crawl out of bed every morning, breathe in, breathe out, that whole bit.  I never imagined I was that weak, that frail, that my grip on life and conscious was so tenuous.  But you made me stay.

You were right to do that.  I think maybe you never give up until the body quits breathing; even then you try for awhile, at least until the flesh decays.  But you stay with the decaying mind don’t you?  Will we ever meet or will I suddenly be you?  If I fail in the end do you leave then?  Or worse, cease to be?  When my final balance sheet is tallied do we go on together if the end is good? Or if it is negative do we part paths and end in vacuum?  Or is faith, belief and intent really the end all?

You won’t tell me until its all said and done will you, that’s cool though.  Sometimes I think I know.

I wanted to tell you thanks though, while I still can.  Thanks for all you’ve done, it’s not sufficient, but it’s all I’ve got.  Thanks.

John

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