The Hook-Up

Author's Note: This story uses Portasizers, which were developed by Gator

In the year 2138...

My parents hooked up about twenty years after neutrino dissimilators were invented. Every school-kid knows the theory: quarks and gluons give off matter in the form of neutrino particles through an application of quantum physics known as neutrino dissimilation. Kid stuff, right? Once miniaturization was legalized and the Stature Statute went into effect, everyone wanted to get their hands on some shrunken convicts.

They could be killed by mutilation, torture, swallowing... it's amazing the voters passed a law allowing prisoners to be treated that way, but hey, they made alcohol illegal once, so anything's possible. It wasn't too long before different brands of shrink-rays went on the market. You could buy miniaturized convicts, and either shrink them smaller, or enlarge them to whatever size you wanted to play out whatever wicked fantasy you had.

The most popular brand of shrink-ray on the market was the Portasizer. Another brand called Downsizer was pretty popular for awhile, but in most people's minds, then, as now, Portasizer was the brand to have. If you didn't shrink with Portasizer, you weren't cool.

My mom was a hot 18-year-old blonde named Hazel with green eyes who had not only a Portasizer, but a Downsizer and two other less popular models. She was a rich college chick, so she could afford a lot of toys. Her boyfriend was Trevor Dooley, a college student who wasn't popular, but he was kind of cute (according to my mom). Mom had a six-pack of convicts, and Trevor was filming her as she swallowed them one by one.

"Trevor, you're not going to put this on the Internet, are you?" Hazel asked.

"Who cares?" Trevor answered as Hazel squeezed her fist around one of the miniaturized convicts. "It's not like they matter. They're just a bunch of criminals!"

"How many are left?" Hazel asked.

"Five, counting the one in your hand," Trevor replied.

"Well, what do you want me to do with this one?" Hazel asked, giggling.

"Put him in your mouth!" Trevor answered, as he pulled the other four out of their box and carried them cupped in his hands to a table. "They need to feel contained!" Trevor said, as he and Hazel laughed.

One of the one-inch tall convicts stood up to Trevor. "What gives you the right to boss us around?" the tiny man asked.

Trevor just lifted up his tee-shirt enough to reveal his belly button, and wiggled his belly button with his index finger and said, "Because you fear this!"

Hazel laughed and picked up the captive she had been holding, and held him above her mouth. She opened her mouth, and dropped him in as Trevor grabbed the camcorder and filmed it.

"This is boring," Hazel lamented. "They can't even do anything!"

"We could let the others go and hunt them down here in the apartment!" Trevor suggested.

"That's a cool idea!" Hazel replied. "Let's do it!"

She jumped up and released the captives onto the ground, and they scattered in all directions.

"Oh my God!" Hazel shouted. "I think that was a mistake! Trevor, help me catch them!"

The two of them hunted down three of the captives, but couldn't find the fourth one. Looking at the lower levels of the apartment, they made the mistake of not realizing that miniaturized people can climb. Hazel and Trevor set the other captives on the table, while the fourth captive reached the top of the shelf where there was a Portasizer! He aimed it at one of the captives, and the neutrino transfer device re-enlarged him back to normal size!

The first thing the un-miniaturized former captive did was punch Trevor in the mouth, giving him a fat lip. Hazel jumped up and out of the way, collecting the other captives so they, too, couldn't be re-enlarged.

Trevor swung on the convict, and the convict swung back on Trevor even harder, knocking out one of his front teeth. In an instant, they were both reduced to about one inch tall, the size of the other captives. Hazel stood there with the Portasizer in her hands, surveying the situation. She picked up the remaining captive, the one who had re-enlarged the other one, and put him back in his box with the others.

All that remained on the carpet were Trevor and the convict.

"You can re-enlarge me now, Hazel!" Trevor demanded.

"I don't think I want to!" Hazel replied.

"Come on now, honey," Trevor replied, but he was interrupted by Hazel.

"Don't ever call me honey! I've never had sex with you! If you can't even handle yourself in a fight, what makes you think I want anything to do with you?"

"Hazel, this is crazy!" Trevor pleaded.

"That convict looked pretty cute when he was re-enlarged. And what makes you so valuable? You think it's cool to hurt miniaturized people...what if I decided to swallow you instead?"

"Hazel," Trevor argued, "that's a felony! It's not legal to swallow regular people, only convicts!"

Hazel put the Portasizer on Neutrino transfer, and aimed it at the convict. He was instantly re-enlarged.

"And what's your name?" Hazel asked.

"Nick!" the convict answered.

Hazel picked Trevor up and put him in her mouth. He slid back on her pink tongue, and she swallowed him. For the next 45 minutes or so, Hazel could swear she could still feel Trevor squirming around in her belly. That's the story of how my parents met, and when I was born on January 13th, 2141, I was named Nick Junior, after my dad. Wait a minute...you didn't think Trevor was my dad, did you?


THE END