UFR #1: Personal Foul on Stallworth/NFL

  "UPON FURTHER REVIEW..."

    by [e-mail] 

      I wanted my very first sports
column to be light-hearted. I had
anticipated writing about some-
thing that I felt most fans might
get a chuckle out of; something
like Bret Favre coming out of
retirement (again). Or maybe the
utter lack of surprise that Sammy
Sosa tested positive for a "per-
formance enhancing substance"
back in 2003 (who knew)? We
could have had some fun with top-
ics like those.
      Unfortunately, it came to my
attention that pro football player
Donte Stallworth, a wide receiver
currently under contract with the
NFL's Cleveland Browns, had just
received his "sentence" for killing
a man while driving drunk back in
mid-March in Miami. His "sen-
tence" was thirty (count 'em - 30)
days in jail, two years of house
arrest (unless he has a football
practice or game...he has to earn
a living, you know), eight years of
probation (which I'm sure is just
Hell on Earth), one thousand
hours of community service (can't
wait to hear about the un-speakable
horrors of community service),
and the dreaded lifetime driver's
license suspension (but - not to fret -
"good conduct" can get that baby
reinstated in five years)!
      Now, I want to make it perfectly
clear that I am not here to launch any
sort of tirade against Donte Stallworth.
I've never met the man: for all I know
he could be the nicest guy in the
world. But even if he is, the nicest
guy in the world, on March 14, 2009,
made the conscious decision to drink
alcohol and attained a blood-alcohol
level of .126 (the legal limit in Florida
is .08), and then hopped into his 2005
Bentley and went for a spin.
      Now, I want to make something
else perfectly clear: This in no way
to be construed as a moral judgment
or condemnation of Donte Stallworth.
Simply stated, there have been times in
my life when I had no business climbing
in behind the wheel of a motor vehicle,
yet I did. In fact, I'll bet that the vast
majority of folks out there have - at some
time in their lives - done something at
least similar (in terms of drinking and
driving only) to that which Mr. Stallworth
has been found guilty of. The only differ-
ence is that most of us were fortunate to
not have taken someone else's life while
behind the wheel, so while I can never
condone Mr. Stallworth's actions, neither
can I legitimately call for tougher action
against him. If I had Mr. Stallworth's fin-
ancial resources and NFL player status,
I would have done everything Mr. Stall-
worth did plus anything else my att-
orney or I could think of to reduce or
eliminate my time in jail!  (So would you,
by the way).
      Of course it bothers me that there is
and has always been a "double standard"
ever since the beginning of time in our
justice system. Just take a look at all of
the people in your community lock-ups
for committing crimes far less severe than
that committed by Mr. Stallworth.
      It also bothers me that the family of
Mario Reyes, the man killed by Mr. Stall-
worth last March 14, apparently found
some comfort in the "undisclosed" fin-
ancial settlement that Mr. Stallworth paid
the family, although my guess is that if
Mr. Reyes was afforded the opportunity
to sit up from his coffin and offer an op-
inion, his might not be quite so gracious. 
      What really rots my socks over all
of this is the blatant hypocrisy of the NFL
when it comes to matters concerning the
use of alcohol on any level. Everyone on
earth knows that beer is what drives (no
pun intended - Ok, maybe just a little) the
National Football League. No matter.
Because, just for starters, you can bet
what's left of your 401k that NFL Com-
missioner Goodell is going to come out
and spew all sorts of adjectives about
the "evils of alcohol" and how the NFL
players "have a responsibility" to the
masses, and blah, blah, blah. And then
he'll slap Stallworth on the wrists with a
meaningless fine while declaring, "The NFL
will not tolerate this sort of conduct," and
maybe for good measure he will even have
a representative from MADD there, and
they'll both have that "We-mean-business"
looks on their faces, and then they'll
pause while we cut to a Bud Lite com-
mercial.
      Anybody detect a problem here?

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