Fairly Rich Upgrade Pitch

      When it comes to the news, do you ever find yourself asking yourself, "Why do I even bother?"
      That's funny, because I write a news-related opinion column, called "For What It's Worth," and I often-times find myself asking the very same question. But I never take long to answer that question (and not just because it's beneficial if I answer that question before anybody else does), but because I answer all the questions, baby! Not only that, I answer questions you didn't even know you had. I answer questions before you can even ask them; I'm that good! I am like the "Sham-Wow!" guy of news commentary (well, except for the part about the hooker)!
      Hey....But don't just take my word for it....Listen to what others have to say:

      "I never miss his column.........(because he forces me to read it)!"
                                                                                                              - Mrs. WordImperfect

      "An endless stream of information.......(will you free us from the basement now?)!"
                                                                                                              - Children of WordImperfect

      "This guy's constantly in demand..........(he has outstanding warrants)!"
                                                                                                              - Local Police Department

      "He keeps me 'hanging' on every word........(he leaves me breathless)!"
                                                                                                              - David Carradine
     
      "When it comes to writing style WordImperfect's a 'Thriller'!".....(as easy as 'A-B-C')!"
                                                                                                              - Michael Jackson

      "WordImperfect.....Yes......Yes!!!!!.................................................
                                                                                                              - Ed McMahon


      As you can see, I could (and still might) go on and on.  But I think that I (as well as others) have stated my case fairly succinctly. Is there anything to gain by continuing? If I continue to toot my own horn,at some point my modesty may become compromised, and we wouldn't want that, now, would we?
      So, all I can do at this point is to ask that you give "For What It's Worth" a shot...I'm pretty sure you'll be glad you did!