Fresh Remooing Rules of Procedure

First and foremost, if you are a masochist and want to be picked apart by vultures who will feast on your remains once you give up writing, you have come to the wrong hand/hooves. There are plenty who will help you in your self destructive endeavor, but I am not one of those.

My reviewing style has evolved over the more than ten years I've been here, (first as another handle) just as my barn gets painted every so often by my lazy human.

You may see me as



or



or even the hand with the reading room -



or if I am really out of sorts I might appear as....



Either way I am a bull (or Hand) or even a person who likes to read!

PROCEDURE

Something catches my attention. I will try and let you know what that something is.

I read your work.

I find something to moo about, remark upon and/or applaud, and I react to it.

I am honest and straightforward in my reactions.

I swish the flies off my tail. If I am tHiNg, I wave goodbye.

I leave.

RATINGS

Any rating you receive from me reflects my appreciation of your work and quite frankly, my mood of the day. I would like to think that this never changes, but I know better and am honest enough to admit to being moody.

I try not to be a hindquarters.

Did I get my daily hay and cider?

Am I regular?

Have I had my manicure?

Do not get your knickers or horns in a knot over my review.

If I love it and can't think of a way I could do better, most probably it will be a, 4.0, 4.5 or a 5 if there is something more....

What distinguishes the three?

I think you have to really wow me for a 5 and make me stand up and really moo out loud, or make my innards gurgle in a good way. If I laugh so hard I cry, you will get a 5. If you take me back to a childhood memory that is a good one, you will, more than likely, get a 5 star. If I look at the time I invested in reading you as well spent than thanks and bravo!

If it is good enough, I might overlook typos. So, it might be perfect enough content-wise for me to look beyond the obvious thing that someone else might call a flaw.

I do not think that many would consider William Faulkner's work to be error-free, yet he won a lot of prizes and acclaim. Was his work perfect? I think it was, considering his settings and characters. You have to keep an open mind about what "perfection" really means. It is definitely in the eye of the beholder or reader.

SUMMARY

It's how the work strikes me at the time I read it. If I remoo you, I am trying to encourage, not discourage.

Again, some will be brutally honest here. That is just not my style.

I will be honest, but hopefully in a diplomatic sort of way. I am not Newt Gingrich. I am Hooves.

To put it another way, the last thing I would want to do is discourage a writer who is brave enough and generous enough to share their work with the world.

This is not everyone's approach, but it is mine.

I have to be me.

Getting a remoo from Hooves, tHiNg, or even COWser in a trench coat CANNOT harm you UNLESS YOU WANT IT TO.

Believe it or not, there are those who are looking for an excuse to give up.

If you react by saying, what does Hooves/COWser/tHiNg know? What then?

You are probably right, have a healthy ego and are free to disregard me and my bullish, manicured opinions.

Getting lots of honest reactions to your work will definitely make you stronger as a writer and as a person, if you are human.

You still have your own truth which is uniquely yours at the end of the day. I don't get a lot of stuff that turns out to be sucessful and wildly popular.

The experiences I bring to my reading color everything about my reaction and my reviews.

Did I graze or have to stay in the barn because of bad weather?

Is Hooves cranky or serene?

Is COWser's trench coat belt cinched too tightly on my loins?

Does tHiNg have a hangnail today?

Just as in life, timing is everything.

Good luck with your timing!

Here I come now.

Better look alert!



MOOOOOOOOOOO

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