My God – I am afraid…

To calm the waters of my soul
decisions must be made;
I think I’m moving toward a place
where viewpoints tend to fade.
My God on High - I call to Thee;
with all my might I pray to Thee.
I beg my answers come from Thee -
My God – I am afraid…

Emotions are such curse-ed things;
how heavy mine have weighed.
I’ve turned to You so many times
with feelings I’ve conveyed…
I just can’t get beyond the hurt;
I’m not so sure he means to hurt.
He does not comprehend my hurt!
My God – I am afraid…

How lonely is this darkened space
that does so now pervade;
I must find answers clear enough -
or end this sad charade…
I can’t be placed where he now stands.
I cease to know just how he stands
himself to not be where You stand -
My God – I am afraid…

How does one stop what drives the soul?
This game’s so long been played
his way – the only way he knows;
the way I’ve long surveyed.
We’re lost within his new-found life.
I don’t’ fit in to this new life;
my soul lacks worth within his life.
My God – I am afraid…

I have no place that I can turn;
save, You who are unswayed…
I come to Thee in humbleness -
So often have I prayed
to You – Creator of the light;
The One who shares a special light.
Why does he not protect this light?
My God - I am afraid.

I’m useless from where I now sit;
I feel I just invade.
I’m not allowed to “interfere”
within his masquerade.
He makes me sit without a word
as I ingest his every word -
Why won’t he seek to find Your word?
My God - I am afraid…

There’s change within his mortal soul
as spirit tends to fade
to such low places in his life -
so sadly now portrayed.
He’s risking what he seeks to find;
he needs to look to You to find -
I’m not allowed to help him find.
My God - I am afraid…

So here I sit – alone and scared;
forbad to dare invade
the one that lies within my heart -
the one I serenade.
I shake my head at what to do;
he does not see what he doth do.
My God!  Please tell me what to do!
For I am so afraid…