FAITH TO BELIEVE

Chapter 1

         “The itsy bitsy spider crawled up the waterspout.  Down came the rain and washed the spider out.”  Cassidy’s voice faded as she pulled into the driveway and saw the strange car.

         “Mommy, keep singing,” Madeline said.

         Her eyes took in the yard, the house, anywhere someone might hide as she pulled to a stop beside it.  “Sweetheart it looks like we have company.”

         “Who?  Grandma?”

         Cassidy could hear the excitement in her voice.  “No.  It’s not Grandma.”

         She got out of the car, opened the back door, unbuckled Madeline, and helped her out of her car seat.  She looked through the window of the car, half-expecting to see someone, relieved to find no one there.  Fear rippled up and down her spine as she wondered where the occupant was, and who it was.

         Cassidy reached for her little hand and searched her pocket for the house key.  “Take my hand Maddie.”

         With some trepidation, she opened the door and stopped.  She stared at the gaunt bald headed man in the loose Navy uniform on her couch.  A man her mind told her was dead, dead for four long years.  It couldn’t be him.  She didn’t believe in ghosts but if that one moved or spoke, she didn’t know what she would do.

         Madeline pointed to him.  “Who’s that Mommy?”

         He stared back at her, and then stood to his feet.  “Cassidy?”

         She couldn’t find her voice.  He seemed to move toward her in slow motion, until he stood in front of her.  Her thoughts went back to a night four years before.  They had been married six months when he disappeared.

         Madeline tugged on her mother’s hand, and pointed.  “Mommy who’s he?”

         Cassidy looked from him to Madeline and back at him.  “How did you get in?”

         “You always kept the spare key under the plant.”

         Yes she did.  His voice was the same, but she told herself he was dead.  He couldn’t come back.  Her legs felt weak with reaction as she stared at him, barely able to comprehend his presence there.

         He reached out to her.  “You had better come and sit down.  I knew it would be a shock.  It’s been four years.”

         He took her by the shoulders and settled her in the chair.  She looked up at him, as her thoughts raced in every direction at once.  “You knew it would be a shock?  I thought you were dead!  There was a funeral service.  Where have you been?  It’s been four years.”

         “I know.”

         Madeline looked from her mother to the man.  “Who are you?”

         He squatted in front of her.  “My name is Terry.”

         Cassidy sucked in her breath.

         “What’s your name?”

         “Madeline.  I’m three.”

         Terry looked at Madeline, who looked back at him a curious look on her face.

         Cassidy saw his look and sought to protect her daughter.  “Maddie will you go play in your room while I talk to,” she looked at Terry, and then back at Madeline.  “To Terry.”

         Madeline looked at him and then her mother.  “Will you read to me?”

         “Later sweetheart, right now I need to talk to Terry.  Now be a good girl and play in your room.”

         Terry watched her go up to her room and turned back to Cassidy.  “You said you had a funeral service.  Did you remarry?”

         Her thoughts were still in a whirl.  “Remarry?”

         His eyes narrowed as he watched her.  “Yes.  Madeline.  She said she was three.”

         Cassidy was speechless yet again, as she stared at him.  How could he think?

         “Cassidy?  Are you all right?”

         He had to know how much she had loved him, still loved him, even after all that time.  He had to know Madeline was his daughter.  He thought.  She looked up at him, a strange look on her face.  “Madeline is your daughter.”

         He stared at her as he sat opposite her on the couch, where he had been when she entered.  “I didn’t know.”

         “I was going to tell you the night you disappeared.  I had a special dinner all planned.  But you never came home.”

         “She’s mine?”

         “Yes.”

         He searched her face.  “You never remarried?”

         How would she explain the past year to him?  “No.  What happened to you?”

         He looked around the room, stood to his feet, and went over to their wedding picture on the wall next to a picture of Madeline as a baby.  “She was a beautiful baby.”

         She watched his every move.  “Yes she was.”

         He turned to look at her.  “She’s a beautiful little girl.  Just like her mother.”

         “Thank you.”  She watched as he came back and sat on the couch.  She wanted to reach out and touch him, but was afraid he would disappear like a mirage.

         “I remember it so clearly.  Every moment.  We had been married six months that day.  You were so beautiful when I woke that morning and looked into your clear blue eyes.  I always felt lost in them.  They are the color of the sky on a clear summer morning.  It was the last picture I had of you.  That last day, that last morning, was part of my waking and sleeping dreams for the past four years.”

         She remembered that day.  They had made love before he had gotten up to go to work.  She had watched him get dressed.  He had been so handsome in his uniform.  She studied it.  “You’ve lost a lot of weight.  Can you tell me?”

         “When I left you that morning, I entered the office to find it in a state of readiness.  Steve came out of his office to meet me.”

         “Terry, good to see you.  How’s the happy bridegroom?”

         “Couldn’t be better.  If I had known marriage was this great, I would have gotten married a long time ago.  So what’s going on here?”

         “We’ve got a top-secret flight going out, and you’re on it.”

         “Top secret as in I can’t tell Cassidy?”

         “You’re a Navy war correspondent.  You know the risks.  There is a group of Marine and Navy personnel leaving in just two hours.  You’re scheduled to be on the helo with them.”

         “Just like that, no warning.  No goodbye to Cassidy, I won’t be home for supper.  What about my overnight bag?”

         “Your gear is packed, and ready.”

         “What about my cameraman?”

         “Briefed and ready to go, we were just waiting for you to get here.  You’re to go to the armory where you will be leaving from in just two hours.”

         “How many?  You indicated it would be a helo ride.”

         “Come into my office.”

         “Steve led the way, and I had a gut feeling about the mission.  I’ve been a war correspondent for four years.  I’ve flown many missions with various military personnel.  I knew I could be gone for months at a time.  I looked around at the tiny office that was so characteristically organized.  Steve had a place for everything.  On the desk was a manila envelope.  I watched as he picked it up and handed it to me.”

         “Here are your orders.  These come straight from the Pentagon.  Don’t open them until you are on the helo.”

         “Can you tell me where I’m going?”

         “Terry, I don’t know where you’re going.  I only know what I was told when Captain Montgomery came into my office an hour ago.  You’ll be going with a group of men and women in two hours.  The only other person from this office that will be going is Carl Davis.  He received his orders fifteen minutes ago.  He’s leaving behind a family as well.  I don’t know when you’ll be home.  I don’t have any answers for you.  Where you’re going is in that envelope.  You aren’t to open it until you are on the helo, and only then.  Captain Montgomery will be on the helo, and will know if you’ve opened them before.”

         “I thought about you, so warm, and tender in my arms that morning.  I knew you would understand, but not if I didn’t come home, and not if you didn’t know where I was.  In all my life, I never expected to meet anyone like you, let alone be married to you.  You are the other half of me.  Without you, I am incomplete.  I couldn’t just leave you without some kind of warning.  Yet Steve expected me to do just that.

         “Presumed dead.  Why did you have the funeral when I was only presumed dead?”

         “I was pushed into it.  I wanted to believe you were still alive.  I wanted you to come through the door.  I hoped against hope.  You never came through that door, until today.”

         “Who pushed you?”

         “My parents.  You know they loved you, but you were gone, presumed dead, and they wanted me to get on with my life.”

         “And did you?”

         She was nervous as she looked at the time.  “I need to get Maddie something to eat.”

         “You know I’m not only a war correspondent, I’m also a chaplain.”

         “Yes, I know.”

         “My job takes me to the most heated areas without a second look at my credentials.  I report the news, and hold services in the field, where I pray for every man and woman, as well as their families, every morning, and evening.  I also administer last rights, and hold funeral services in the field.  The hardest part of my job as chaplain is to inform the next of kin that their loved ones died in the line of duty.”

         “You’ve told me on many occasions.”

         “Your parents should have realized that presumed dead isn’t dead, not until you get my dog tags.”

         She looked at the carpet.  “I know.”  She looked up at him.  “I have to get Maddie something to eat, and from the looks of you, you could stand something as well.”

         “Cassidy, did you get on with your life?”

         She looked up at him, and knew she couldn’t keep it from him.  “I’ve been seeing someone.”

         “Is it serious?”

         She saw the pained look on his face.  “No.  Mom introduced me to him about a year ago.  At first I put him off, but after enough coercion, I gave in and I’ve been out with him pretty much over the last year.”  She looked down at her hands and the ring she had never taken off.

         “That’s over with.”

         She looked up at him, and saw a glitter of something she had never seen before in his eyes.  “Yes.”

         “I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you.  You know I wanted to be.”

         She stood to her feet and went to stand at the window, angry at what he had said.  There had been no word at all in over four years.  She turned to look at him as tears threatened to spill over on her cheeks.  “Did you?  I was very upset.  Mostly at Steve.  I called him every day.  He never once hinted at a problem.”

         He went to stand behind her, but she shrugged away from him and went to Madeline’s room.  He was right behind her.  “I’ve missed so much.”

         She looked up at him before she opened the door, and they went through together.  “Yes you have.”

         All her toys surrounded Madeline.  There were as many trucks and cars as there were dolls.  At the sight of him, she jumped to her feet.  “Are you staying?”

         “Yes Moppet.  I’m staying,” Terry said.

         “My name is Madeline.”

         He smiled down at her.  “Do you mind if I call you Moppet?”

         “Mm.”  Her eyes sparkled as she looked up at him, a finger on the side of her face.  “Okay, but only you, no one else.”

         He grinned.  “Thank you.”

         “Are you hungry?” Cassidy said.

         “Yup!”

         “Do you want to help me with supper?”

         “Mac and cheese?” Madeline said.

         “Are you sure you want that again tonight?  You just had that last night,” Cassidy said.

         Madeline danced around her on the way to the kitchen.  “Mac and cheese.  Mac and cheese.”

         “It sounds like mac and cheese,” Terry said.

         Cassidy looked up at him.  There were some pointed changes.  He was leaner, and bald.  “Nice hair cut.”

         He ran a hand over his head and face.  “Not much time for a lot of personal grooming.  They shaved my head when we got back.  It was necessary.”

         Horror filled her eyes and she leaned heavily against the table in the kitchen as her thoughts took off to the unimaginable.

         He reached out a hand to steady her.  “Cassidy are you all right?”

         “Tell me you weren’t a prisoner.”  The anxiety in his eyes told her what words could not.  “Oh my God.”

         “We’ll talk some more after supper,” Terry said.

         Cassidy straightened and put the water on to boil for the macaroni, and got out the pasta to add as soon as it boiled.  Then she went to the refrigerator and took out a couple different packages of shredded cheese.

         “Homemade, not from a box?”

         “Not a box.  Maddie likes it better this way.  In fact she won’t touch box food.”

         Terry looked at his little girl.  “In all the years I never thought about a baby.”

         “She was born seven months after you disappeared.  I’ve imagined you all this time in heaven.”

         “Sometimes I wish I had been, but the thought of you kept me alive.”

         Madeline looked up at him.  “You thought about my mommy?”

         Terry squatted down and looked at her.  “I thought about your mommy every day.  I love your mommy very much.”

         She looked between them and settled her gaze on him, a curious expression on her face.  “You love my mommy?”

         Cassidy looked between them.  It was time.  “Maddie do you remember me telling you stories about your daddy?”

         “Daddy is in heaven.”

         “Come with me to the living room while the water boils.”  Cassidy took her hand in hers, and lifted her in her arms when she got to the pictures on the wall.

         “That’s daddy.”  Madeline pointed to the picture of Cassidy and Terry on their wedding day.  “And that’s me.”

         “Yes.  That’s your daddy, and Maddie, so is Terry.  Terry is your daddy.”  She thought she would faint as she made the acknowledgement.

         Terry took Madeline from her and steadied her.  “You had better sit down.”

         Madeline looked up at him.  “You don’t have hair.”

         He laughed and held her close.  “No.  I don’t have hair.  I had to have it shaved off.”

         “Why?”

         Cassidy’s heart lurched at his familiar laugh.  She had heard it many times before he.  She looked up at him and their eyes met, and she knew he never forgot their love.  In that moment, she wanted to feel his strong arms around her and his lips on hers.

         She looked at Maddie in his arms.  She had often thought about Madeline in his arms.  The reality of it sunk in.  “Let’s go and see if the water is boiling yet.  Shall we?”

         Madeline slid to the floor, and ran into the kitchen.  “It’s ready!”

         Cassidy joined her.  “So it is.”

         “Can I pour it in?” Madeline said.

         Terry looked on and the love in his eyes was undeniable.  Cassidy looked at him, and blushed at her thoughts.  He was home.  She was no longer alone.  They had a lot to work through yet.  They would talk after Madeline went to bed.

         She looked back at Madeline.  “Yes you can pour it in.”

         “Goody!”  Madeline took the cup with the pasta and poured it into the boiling water.

         Cassidy took the wooden spoon and stirred.  Terry sat at the table and watched.

         Cassidy knew he watched them.  Her pulses raced, just as they always did when he was close by.  So many things they needed to work out.  He had been gone for four years.  She didn’t know where, but he had as much as said that he had been in a prison camp.  Where?  She was happy he was home, but she dreaded the moment when Larry would come over.

         She looked at her watch.  He either called her at the same time every night, or he surprised her by coming over.  She didn’t need any more surprises.

         The doorbell rang and Madeline rushed for the door.  Cassidy was just in time to see her open it.  “You can’t come here anymore, my daddy’s home.”

         Madeline started to close the door, but Cassidy caught it before it shut.  Larry looked past Madeline to Cassidy.  “What is Maddie talking about?  Your husband is dead.”

         “No, no he’s not.  He came home today,” Cassidy said.

         Terry trailed behind his wife and daughter.

         The two men stared at each other.  One with dark good looks, with a lock of hair on his forehead, and the other bald; one thin, the other gaunt; one average height, about six feet, the other a couple inches over six feet.  Cassidy could see Larry’s anger, and felt the unease in Terry, and she was in the middle.

         “So where have you been for the past four years?” Larry said.

         “I don’t think it is any of your business,” Terry said.

         “Cassidy declared you dead.  You can’t just come back in here and take over where you left off,” Larry said.

         “Excuse me.  Supper will burn if I don’t rescue it.  Larry I’m afraid anything you thought we had together is of no consequence now.  Terry is home.”

         Cassidy left the two men and went back to the kitchen.  What a mess.  She took the noodles from the stove and drained them.

         Terry looked at Larry.  “Is there anything else you need here?”

         “You’re not staying here are you?” Larry said.

         “This is my home.  I don’t see any reason why I should leave.”

         “I see plenty of reason.  You’ve been gone for four years.  You don’t have any more claim on Cassidy.  That’s grounds for abandonment.”

         “I didn’t abandon my wife.”

         “You weren’t here.”

         “And you were.  Excuse me.  I think it would be best for you to leave before I forget two things.”

         “And what would that be?”

         “One, I am her husband and two, I am a minister of God.”

         “A minister.”  Larry spat on the ground.  “Seems you forgot that in the past four years.”

         “I didn’t forget anything in the past four years, and you had better leave while you still have the ability to do so.”

         Larry glared at him.  “This isn’t finished.  In order for you to resume your marriage, you will need to see the judge.  As far as everybody is concerned, you’re dead.  How do I know you are who you claim to be?”

         “Cassidy said as much, and she should know.”

         Madeline looked between the two men.  She had a puzzled look on her face, as she looked at Larry.  “My daddy came back from heaven.  You can’t come here anymore.”

         “Maddie, go help your mother with supper,” Terry said.

         Madeline looked up at him.  Way up.  She looked back at Larry.  “Go away.”

         “Moppet,” Terry said.

         “I’m going.”  Madeline went back to the kitchen.

         “Is there anything else I can help you with?” Terry said.

         “No.”

         “Then goodnight.”  Terry closed the door and returned to the kitchen.

         Cassidy was at the stove.  She looked at him and then looked away, and stirred the macaroni.  “You don’t know how many times in the past four years that I hoped you would just come home.”

         He took her in his arms.  The macaroni temporarily forgotten as his lips came down on hers.

         Cassidy clung to him.  She had hoped for nothing more than his arms around her.  Together they would take care of all the other problems that would come their way.

         “Mommy?”  Madeline tugged on her skirt.

         Their eyes locked before Cassidy looked down at Madeline, who had a big grin on her face, then at the macaroni.  “We need to get the table set.  It’s all done.”

         Terry helped Madeline set the table.  “I sit there.”

         “I see.  Then where do I sit?” Terry said.

         “You can sit there.”  Madeline pointed to a place on the opposite side, next to her mother.

         “Coffee?”  Terry looked at the empty coffeepot on the counter.

         “I’m sorry.  I didn’t think.”

         “It’s all right.  I’ll have whatever you’re having.”

         “You don’t like tea.  How about.”

         “Tea will be fine,” Terry said.

         Cassidy dished up the macaroni.  The cheese clumped on the end of the spoon.

         “Mine!  Mine!” Madeline said.

         “Yes.  It’s yours.”  Cassidy spooned the cheese onto her plate and took her seat at the table.

         With heads bowed, Terry prayed over their food.  “Heavenly Father I thank you for bringing me back to my family, and giving me such a precious family.  Heal all the differences still to be found out, and bring us to a loving understanding of who You are in the midst of all the pain that has been endured.  Let love abide here, let wisdom and understanding be our cover, and let us not ever forget to thank You for the breath we have each new day, and for the bounty You so lovingly provided.  In Jesus name, I pray, amen.”

         “Amen.”  Cassidy and Madeline said.

         Later he helped put Madeline to bed after he read her favorite book to her.

         Cassidy left the door open just a little bit, and followed him back down to the living room.  “Would you like me to make you some coffee?”

         “I don’t need coffee.  It’s enough that I’m here with you and Madeline.  She’s beautiful Cassidy.”

         “Yes she is.  She’s been the stability in my life.  It was hard at first.  I was very angry that no one knew anything, or if they did, they didn’t tell me anything.”

         “I’m sorry.  I wanted to tell you, but my orders were from the Pentagon.  I couldn’t.”

         “It’s been so hard, and so lonely, and so.”  She looked up at him, and the tears flowed.

         “I can understand how you feel.  I felt the same way every day I was gone from you, but being back here is like having never left.”

         She brushed the tears away and looked at him.  “And yet you did.  Where did you go?”

         “I think I will take that coffee.”

         Cassidy got up to make the coffee.  Though she never drank it herself, she always had it on hand for company.  She scooped the grounds into the filter and poured the water into the reservoir, and turned it on.

         She watched the coffee drip into the pot for a moment, and then looked up to see his eyes on her.  It was hard for her to believe he was home.  He came towards her, and looked down at her with passion-filled eyes.

         His lips were on hers again.  “I missed you so much.  You don’t know the hell I’ve been through these past four years.”

         She pushed away from him and got two cups from the cupboard.  In one, she poured water and set it in the microwave for tea.  She had her eyes on the light of the microwave.  “It’s not been easy for me either.  I was pregnant, and I had the stares and the understanding looks from people who thought you abandoned me, until I felt pressured into having you declared dead.”

         “A person can’t be declared legally dead for seven years.”

         “The judge took an interest in the case.  The helicopter had gone down.  There was all the evidence from the Navy.”

         “But no body.”

         “There were bodies.  They were burned beyond recognition, and they couldn’t get any dental records or confirm the bodies were yours, or the other men and women who had been on board the helicopter.”

         “That would be impossible.  Yes, our helicopter went down.  Shot down, in fact, but most of the people on the helo survived.  Only the pilot and co-pilot were killed in the crash.”

         The bell sounded on the microwave and the coffee had stopped dripping as she poured out a cup and handed it to him.

         He took it from her and followed her back to the living room, and sat in the chair across from her.  “Where did I leave off?” Terry said.

         “Steve was telling you about your orders.”

         “Yes.  You were always a good listener.  I was tempted to open the envelope, but I knew it wasn’t an option.  It would mean dismissal as a war correspondent, especially when they came from the Pentagon.  With the number of hot spots around the world, we could go anywhere.”

         “Cassidy will be worried.”

         “After you’ve left, I’ll give her a call, and let her know you’re on assignment.”

         “How long will I be gone?”

         “I don’t have that information.  You’ve been supplied with enough gear for a week.”

         “So this is an indefinite assignment, and I can’t call my wife?  Don’t you think that’s a bit unfair to both of us?”

         “The Pentagon is in charge of this operation.  Your orders are in that envelope and you’ll know how long you’ll be gone when you get home.”

         “If I get home.”

         “Have you made out your will?”

         “Not recently.”

         “Then you had better sit down and do so.  You have a wife, who will need to feel some kind of security in the event you don’t come home.  I’ll send Lewis in here to see to it.”

         “Matthew Lewis was with JAG, assigned to our office.  He made sure everyone had their affairs in order before they left on any major assignment.  The fact I was about to make out my will told me more than I wanted to face right then.  It was a risk every war correspondent faced every time they went out to the front line.  I knew why I had been selected.  I had been at it longer, and always came home.  I felt the familiar adrenaline pump through me.  I was eager to go, but I wanted to tell you.  You had a right to know I wouldn’t be home for dinner.”

         “I got a call from Steve early in the afternoon.  He assured me it was no more than a routine assignment.  He didn’t tell me you wouldn’t be home.  I should have known better.  I called him every day.  I wanted to believe you were just on some routine mission somewhere local, and was unable to come home until it was completed.  I knew better.  Then a month after you had been gone I got the news your helicopter went down, and you were presumed dead.”

         “I wished I could have avoided it, but it was out of my hands.”

         “I know.  What happened next?”

         “Lewis entered the office.”

         “Terry.”

         “Matt.”

         “I took a seat while Lewis sat behind the desk, and took a sheet of paper and prepared to write.  It didn’t take long, and I was ready to go.  Steve reentered the office, and sat behind his desk.”

         “All set?”

         “I sat slightly forward and rolled my cap in my hands as I looked across at him.”

         “Yes.  I don’t feel right about leaving Cassidy like this.”

         “She’s a Navy wife.  She’ll understand.  Besides you’ve left her before, and always came back.”

         “I sat back in the chair and covered my right knee with my cap as I looked at him.”

         “I never had top-secret orders before.  And besides that was before we were married.”

         “How long is it now?”

         “Six months today.”

         “You’ll be back.  I have confidence in you.”

         “I have to have confidence in God, because I have none in me.  Especially leaving Cassidy like this.”

         “Carl and I took our gear and headed over to the armory to meet with the other people who were also headed out.  I had the manila envelope in my hands.  It felt like it burned right through them.  It meant I would be away from you for at least a week, but I knew that once I opened the envelope it would tell me I would be gone for a whole lot longer.  The armory is in the opposite direction from our home, and I felt like I would never see you again.  I wanted to turn the car in the opposite direction and say goodbye to you, and feel your arms around me once more before I headed out.  We pulled into the gate at the armory.  You know I always had my gear at the office, packed for an emergency trip.”

         “I know it.  Go on.”

         “Well like I said we pulled into the gate, and the driver put our gear on the ground and turned and left.”

         “Whose car is in the driveway?”

         “That would be Steve’s.  He brought both Carl and I home today.  I expect he’s getting a warm welcome from his family.”

         “His wife was very upset by his disappearance.  When they told her the helicopter went down, and everyone killed or presumed dead, she nearly killed herself.  Their children were with her parents for a long time.”

         “How is she now?”

         “The last I had heard she had become an alcoholic.  Her mother takes care of the children a lot.  She hasn’t been able to hold a job because of it.”

         “And what about you?”

         “I had no chance to go off the deep end.  One I was pregnant.  The doctor watched me like a hawk.  I went to see a psychologist a lot in those months leading up to Maddie’s birth, and two I had God to take care of me.  However, I didn’t expect you to come home.  Usually presumed dead, meant dead.  I knew if you were in heaven, and I envied you most of the time, especially when I was depressed, and lonely.  The nights were the worst.  I missed you so much.  I wanted you to feel the baby move.  I wanted you there when she was born.  She was perfect, seven pounds three and a half ounces, and nineteen inches long, and dainty.  As you can see from the picture, she had a lot of hair when she was born, and none of it rubbed off either.  By the time she was a year old she had it down to the middle of her back.  I had to trim her bangs to keep it out of her eyes, eyes as blue as my own.  Mom showed me pictures of me when I was a baby.  She looked just like me.”

         “She still does.  I still can’t believe I have a daughter.  Why the name Madeline?”

         “There’s a cartoon with a little girl with that name.  I liked her, and I have an Aunt Madeline.”

         “When was she born?”

         “Do you still doubt she’s yours?”

         “No.  I just want to know when her birthday is.”

         “May tenth.”

         “May tenth, a month after our first wedding anniversary.”

         “I missed you so much.  I had a newborn baby, and I didn’t know where you were, and thought you were dead.  What happened?”

         “I met Captain Montgomery, and the others who were going to be on the flight.  There were seven men and two women, besides Carl and me.  Our gear was stored aboard the helo, and we got onboard.  It was routine, until we got in the air.”

         “I know none of you know why you were chosen for this mission.  Each of you has an ability that is necessary for where you are going, and what you will be doing.”

         “Captain Montgomery looked at each of us in turn.”

         “Okay you can open your envelopes.”

         “We tore open the envelopes and I pulled out my orders.  Afghanistan, we were headed right into the heart of the hostilities.  I knew as well as everyone else on the helicopter that we wouldn’t be home for a long time.”

         “All right.  Now that the shock is beginning to wear off.  Let me tell you what your job is.  Though I shouldn’t have to tell you,” Captain Montgomery said.

         “He went through the jobs of each person on board the helicopter.  No one was surprised when they found out what their duties were for the mission.”

         “Terence Kearney, Carl Davis.  Your jobs are obvious on the outside.  You are war correspondents.  Davis you are a photojournalist.  We need you to take pictures.  Lots of them, everything you see, whether it looks essential or not.  It makes no difference.  You take pictures.  Even if the only thing you see is a cow mating.  Take the picture.”

         “Yes Captain,” Davis said.

         “Kearney.  You have two jobs, both important, but one more important than the other.  Your primary job isn’t a correspondent.  It’s the shepherd of a flock of disheartened sheep, who have forgotten why they are fighting a war so far away from their loved ones and families.  That will be your first job.  You will be their counselor, their father confessor, and their religious leader.  We need these young men and women to know why they are fighting.”

         “Don’t they know?”

         “They know, but when the only thing they see every day is the enemy, and they are fighting to stay alive, they have to be reminded why they are fighting to stay alive.  Your second mission is war correspondent.  We need your ability to send the message about the war to the home front.  We also need your talents in a more complicated area, that of propaganda.”

“Propaganda?  I don’t understand.”

         “You will be putting a coded message in the local newspaper every day.  That message will be sent back home, to the Pentagon.  Your job is special agent.  You’ll be working directly with the underground.”  Captain Montgomery turned his attention back to Davis.  “That is why you will be taking pictures of everything.  You will be working with Kearney.  Your pictures will have a coded heading on them.”

         “What happens if we are captured?” Carl said.

         Captain Montgomery took a long jewelers case from his pack.  “As of this moment all of you have been promoted to the next rank.  Kearney you will not take these bars off for any reason, not even if you are captured.  That goes for the rest of you.”  He turned his attention back to me.  “You didn’t forget to pack your Bible?”

         “Never, it’s always with me.”

         “Good.  I have another for you, just in case yours gets lost, or gets into the hands of the enemy.”  He took a Bible from his pack and handed it to me.  “Keep that one close to you at all times.  If you are captured, pray that it isn’t found on your person.”

         “I opened it to find the code I would use while we were on our mission.  My bars showed me to be a lieutenant commander.  My orders also showed me the change in grade.”

         “I take it that my gear has the new bars on them.”

         “All your gear has the necessary changes made to them.  We waited as long as we could to give you your assignments.  You all have new uniforms in your gear packs.  When we get to the ship, you will change into your new uniforms, and Kearney, if you are ever captured, and this goes for all of you.  You will not give away your mission.  You were all handpicked specifically for this mission.  I know I can trust each and every one of you.”  He turned again to me.  “You’ll need these on your lapel at all times.  Don’t show the fact you are a war correspondent.  They kill war correspondents on sight.  We need your services desperately.”

         “I took the pair of crosses from him.”

         “I understand.”

         “And if you are captured, and I pray you aren’t.  You will be the spiritual leader in the prison camp.  You don’t want to be captured.  You would believe you received a one-way ticket to hell, but if you are, you will carry out your mission inside the prison camp.  You will be their spiritual leader, and you will send a coded message back to the Pentagon as often as possible.”

         “You keep talking about what we will do if we are captured.  What about you?” Carl said.

         “I will be right there with you.  I have my orders as well,” Captain Montgomery said.

         “It’s like you expect us to be captured,” one of the women said.

         “I don’t expect anything in this war.  People are captured, killed, interrogated, wounded, and sent home as casualties of war.  For the fun of it, they take your head off, and not quick either.  It’s a very painful slow death, as they slice it off like they slice a loaf of bread.  You women will think it preferable to what they will do to you before they kill you.  Rape is an art to them.  They aren’t afraid to die.  They believe in the cause they fight for.  A cause, which I might remind you most of our men and women are finding unacceptable as they lose faith in the country they fight for.  So before we land on our ship, and prepare for the mission ahead, I would ask Lieutenant Commander Kearney to lead us all in a prayer for our safety.”

         “They bowed their heads and waited.  I felt the weight of the mission on my shoulders.”

         “Father in heaven, I find it a privilege to come before You today as I commit myself into your hands.  Help each of us to do the work that is set before us, to the best of our ability.  We have been chosen for a special assignment, and we ask that You be our guide and strength in the days, weeks, and months to come, and not only us, Father, but our families as well.  For my wife, Cassidy, for Carl’s family, and each family represented here.  Keep them in the hollow of Your hand and let them know we are doing a greater work that we don’t understand now, but everything will be revealed in its proper time.  In Jesus name, I pray, amen.”

         “Amen’s were heard around the small cabin of the helicopter.  I looked at each one of them, and felt they were as precious to me as they were to God.  From my breast pocket, I took a small card to give them.  I always kept a small stack on me and a box in my gear.”

         “Keep this on you at all times.  Read it daily.  It will encourage you, and you will find that you will be able to do your job that much better as you do.”

         “Psalm 91,” a woman said.  “It’s been a long time since I was inside a church.”

         “Consider that changed.  I know there aren’t any atheists in a foxhole.  I’ve seen it time and again,” Captain Montgomery said.

         “With my orders in hand, I wondered just how long I would be away from you.”

         “I remember the day we met.” Cassidy said.

         He looked at her.  “So do I, it was the day my whole life changed.  I couldn’t get you out of my mind.”

         “You had a funny way of showing it.”

         “Your hair was pulled back in a ponytail.  You were on roller blades as you delivered our orders to us.”

         “I remember the wolf calls from your friends.”

         “I remember your eyes.  They sparkled, like those sparklers on the Fourth of July.”

         “You ignored me.”

         “I did not.”

         “You did.”

         “You asked me if I wanted a shake.  What you didn’t know was that you had already given me one.  I was all shook up over you.”

         “Then why did it take so long for you to ask me out?”

         “I went to the drive-in every night for a month.”

         “Yes, and every night for a month you ignored me.  Then you disappeared.  I didn’t think I would see you again, and then there you were again.”

         “Yes, and I wasted no time asking you out.  Only you turned me down.”

         “I needed to know how serious you were.”

         “I was in love with you long before you finally agreed to go out with me.”

         She knew their story as well as he.  She reveled in the effect she had on him.  She had kept him at bay for a whole month.  “I thought you weren’t ever coming back when you disappeared the second time.”

         “I ached for you every night I was away, just as I did every night of the past four years.”

         “So what happened?”

         “We got to our ship that would take us to Afghanistan.  When we were off the coast we boarded the helicopter again, and that’s when it happened.  It was completely unexpected.  A routine reconnaissance hadn’t found anything out of the ordinary.  It had taken us three weeks to get to our location in the Arabian Sea.  By that time, I had the code memorized.  I knew it even in my sleep.  So did Carl.  We constantly drilled each other in it.  It became our second language.”

         “Maybe we should have a special code between us, just in case they send you away from me again.  I don’t think I could handle it a second time.  I nearly didn’t this time.”

         “You had Larry.”

         “It took mom a full year to convince me to date again.  I didn’t want to.  So what happened next?”

         “We were in the briefing room on board the ship.  Captain Montgomery was our commanding officer.  He would lead us in our mission.  We answered directly to him and would continue to do so until we came home.”

         “Lieutenant Commander Kearney.  Would you lead us in a prayer for the safety of everyone here before we board the helicopter for the final leg of our journey,” Captain Montgomery said.

         “I went to the podium.”

         “Heavenly Father.  We are in your hands.  We are aware of the importance of our mission.  Help us to do our work and see us safely to the end of each day.  We commit ourselves to you and to each other, our country, and to the fulfillment of our duty.  Thank you for seeing us safely through to the end of our mission, and bring us safely home.  In Jesus name, I pray, amen.”

         “Amen, was heard throughout the room.”

         “All right we board the helicopter.  We will be setting down north of Kabul in the mountains,” Captain Montgomery said.

         “The planes came out of the skies and surrounded us.  They had some powerful artillery onboard, but it didn’t matter, it was over in moments.  Our helicopter descended rapidly toward the mountains below.”

         “Do you think it was a setup?”

         “We didn’t know what to think.  I began to pray as soon as I saw the planes.  It was a miracle we weren’t killed save the pilot and co-pilot.  We went down nose first.  The fireball that ensued should have killed all of us, but we were free of the helicopter.  We clutched our gear in our hands and ran for our lives.”

         “If there were only two people killed, why was I told you along with everyone else had died in the fight?”

         “That remains a mystery.”

         “So what happened next?”

         “We had evaded their pursuers for three nights, but in the end, they tracked us down and took us to a prison camp.  There we were searched, and shown our new quarters.  We were there for four years, captured, the nightmare of every soldier.  We had our orders and we began to carry them out.  Surprisingly I still had my Bible.  In fact, I had both Bibles.  I knew who was in charge of the mission.  So did everyone else, when we were searched, and everything taken from us, except that.  It was as if they didn’t see the Bibles in plain sight.

         “The women were taken to separate quarters, but we saw them every day.  I prayed with them, and put a hedge of protection around them daily so that no harm would come to them.  God not only protected us, but them also.  His hand of protection was at work inside the prison.  It was because of Him, we were able to fulfill our mission, and were able at last to gain our freedom.”

         “You were safe in prison?” Cassidy said.

         “Safe?  By no means, that prison was hell, and we were aware of it every moment of every day.  I won’t go into the way we were treated.  It was unthinkable.  The amazing thing to us, for which we gave God the glory every day, was that they didn’t know the women were women.  We were stripped of every ounce of clothing.  It should have been obvious they were women, but they didn’t know.  To our captors, they were men, just like the rest of us.”

         “You escaped a fireball of death, and you were in prison for four years.”

         “We knew when we were protected from that fiery death that God was with us.  We were completely protected.”

         “But you were captured, presumed dead.”

         “Yes we were captured.  No one knew we were alive, but God never forsook us.”

         “By the looks of you, you didn’t get very much to eat.”

         “Rations were limited.”

         “When were you freed?”

         “The prison was bombed, and again we saw the mighty hand of God.  All the prisoners escaped.  I held services every day, and every day I gave an altar call, and every day more people stood behind the cross of Jesus Christ.  Those people came out of hell that day.  Everyone there knew who the enemy was.  Patriotism ran high.  We sang not only songs to God, for his goodness to us, but God Bless the U.S.A. was tops on our hit parade, you might say.  We served two factions.  God, and our country, and we weren’t let down by either.”

         “How long have you been back in the States?  And why didn’t you get in touch with me to let me know that you were alive.”

         “We’ve been back in the United States for the past month.”

         “You’ve been back for the past month, and you only came home today?”

         “We were freed, all twelve of us.  No one perished.  When they freed us, we were taken to Bethesda Military Hospital.  We couldn’t reveal the fact we were alive until today.  We were in isolation for the past month.  We suffered from dysentery, parasites, lice, and malnutrition.  This morning they released us, and told us we could go home.  We had fulfilled our mission in a roundabout way.”

         “Are you still in the Navy?”

         “Yes.  I can’t promise I won’t be sent on any more top-secret missions, but I am very glad this one is over.”

         “Four years.  Did the Pentagon know you were really alive?”

         “The only ones who knew we were alive were God and ourselves.  Our captors gave Captain Montgomery the news.  They handed him the paper that told of our deaths.  We knew all our families’ back home would be devastated by the news, but there was nothing we could do about it.”

         Cassidy thought about it for a long moment.  “It was probably better we did think you were dead.  If we thought for even a moment you were alive we would have been seeking your release, and you wouldn’t have been able to do your job.”

         “I knew you would understand.  Now tell me about Larry.”