No Neck Nick

Locking the door behind him, James stepped out into the overcast day, ready for another mind numbing eight hours of assembling lasers at Natrox.  Reminding himself he was lucky just to have a job in the slowly draining Silicon Valley, he waddled down the stairs.  His 1987 Toyoto Corolla sat waiting patiently for him.  He squeezed himself into the front seat, popping his favorite Frank Sinatra CD into the player as he began his 45 minute commute to work.

As he pulled into the parking lot he noticed Ann walking into the building and sighed to himself.  For the past year they had worked side by side on the assembly line but had never spoken to each other.  He wasn’t even sure if her name was really “Ann” but each time he saw her, she reminded him of Ann Margaret, the greatest actress of all time, in his opinion.  James could recite every movie, every song and every TV appearance Ann Margaret had ever made.

Positioning himself at his regular spot on the line he cringed as Steve yelled across at him, “Hey Nicky, how’s it goin’?”

James felt his face flush; the guys at work were forever referring to him as “No Neck Nick.”  James had a neck … somewhere.  He had tried wearing the collar on his polo shirts turned up but all that seemed to do was make it appear as though his shirts were eating him.  Was it a genetic defect?  Too many headstands as a child?  Had his bicycle helmet been too heavy?

Ann took her place as the first instruments began their way down the black conveyor belt.  James tried standing taller in the hopes that his lack of a neck wouldn’t be quite so obvious.  The absence of a neck was one of the reasons he had never worked up the courage to speak to this vision beside him.  The day went on, laser after laser after laser.  But then, just as the buzzer signaling the end of the day sounded, a voice beside him asked, “James, do you like turtles?”

“I beg your pardon?” James replied as Steve let out a snort.

“Why, I asked if you liked turtles,” Ann said.  “I just bought a new one yesterday, and wondered, would you like to see it?  I have six now. I think they’re simply adorable, such sturdy little things.

James glanced across at Steve, wondering if this was some bad joke that he was going to be the butt of. Steve shrugged back at him with an “I dunno man” look.  James turned back to Ann, smiling as he noticed the sincerity in her eyes.

“Why yes, Ann, I believe I’d love to meet your turtles.”