Still Broken

The past seems distant and yet every day flashes remain
floating behind my eyelids in stark black and white film.
It took so much courage for me to ask you out that night
and even then it didn't feel like we were on a real date.
Do you remember those days in the same fond fashion
or have you moved on to your new lover and family?
There is so much that I didn't see during the relationship.
You had to tell me that we were even together, remember?
I gave my everything from the beginning to you and your child
because I wanted us to work everything out and become a family.
Affection was the most difficult emotion for me to discover.
Somehow I found those magic words to say with each soft kiss
for it was you who taught me how to give the physical side over.
Then my world came crashing down that solitary weekend.
One glimpse of my cell phone and we were no more.
The feelings of love that you had taught me to experience
were gone, like the flip of a switch, they had changed.
It didn't take you long to find my replacement, did it?
Less than a year from ripping my heart out of my chest
you approached wearing that promise ring on your finger.
Engaged and pregnant when just a year ago it had been me
you were holding and whispering the sweet words, I love you.
But what is to become of the person you discarded?
I am left alone, broken, with no one to love in the sight.
In one harsh text you took away my love and my child.
Before you, I thought that no one would ever want me;
that I wasn't good enough to receive such affection.
At least I have learned a lesson in matters of my heart.
Now, at least I can protect myself from love's dagger
and never let another person hurt tear me down.
Instead the answer becomes clear when the fog lifts
that I must lock away my heart and never love again.

(32 lines)