SUNRISE LESSON 8

Assignment
Read each of the sentences below and look for the redundancy. Copy and paste them onto another page and then remove the redundancy from the sentence. mple sentences and your listed modified sentences also, so we can compare them.

When turning in your assignment, make sure we have the exa
1. The thief returned back to the scene of the crime.
***The thief returned to the scene of the crime.***

2. The large giant was sleeping.
***'The giant was sleeping.***

3. The cold ice kept the drink cold.
***Ther ice kept the drimk cold.***

4. He passed his english class by a slender, narrow margin.
***He passed his english class by a narrow margin.***

5. The final outcome of the study will help explain various different links between the three separate factors of heart disease, age, and physical activity.
6. My nephew was suspended from school because of his behavior and conduct in class.
7. Nancy is wearing a blue colored dress that looks smaller in size than it should.
8. Insofar as learning to play a musical instrument is concerned, the piano, in my personal opinion, would be in the category of the kind that is difficult to learn to play.
9. It is a fact that there are many individuals who do not vote in elections.
10. The judge, who is a known expert in the field of labour discussions, recommended that each chairman of both sides meet with him tomorrow morning at 10am.
11. Although they were few in number, the early settlers who came to America brought with them strong and loyal religious faith and beliefs.
12. The average worker who works in a surrounding environment that contains poisonous pollutants sometimes dies of a mortal illness connected with the pollutants.
13. He has a wide nose and a large head. He had a thick chest and stick legs. He was a big kid.
14. "Hey Jimmy, hurry up! Linda shouted. "It's almost 2 pm, in the afternoon, and we have a lot of work to do."
15. The big, large book was eaten by the ugly, disgusting monster
16. The dog danced on its hind legs in a round circle and I thought it was a very unique trick.
17. After listening to the lecture Dan had a complete and total understanding of the subject.
18. Our teacher put us in groups and told us to cooperate together on the project.
19. Then our teacher told us that it was extremely crucial to finish the project by the deadline.
20. The group I'm in met in the Library to come up with a plan and scheme for the project.
21. In the event that a large-scale disaster such as a hurricane or earthquake occurred, the possibility exists that even large hospitals could be overwhelmed.
22. Caught in a lie, Sam dropped down his head in shame.
23. One of my most trusted and respected personal friends who lives in the city of London at the moment is considering moving to Ireland because he has been offered a position in that area.
24. "Hey!" Tommy exclaimed.
25. My favorite part of the movie was when the building suddenly exploded.
27. Jenny and Rick skated across the frozen ice holding hands together.
28. Mr. Jones commutes by train back and forth to the city during the week.
29. Lisa smiled and raised up from the chair.
30. Joey ordered the parts and components for his car from Ebay.

To eliminate redundancy from your writing, it is absolutely necessary that you be honest with yourself. If you are unable to objectively and ruthlessly edit your work, it is doubtful that you will be able to pick out the times when you needlessly repeat yourself. A redundancy can happen when you repeat the same fact twice; it can also happen when you add pointless explanation.

Next time you edit a story or an article, go through your work and circle words and phrases that you tend to use most often. You can also circle descriptions that you've repeated or modifiers that aren't necessary. Then go back to your first draft and eliminate the words or phrases you've circled to clean up the prose.

Discussion Topic
Can I see a show of hands? There is only the one assignment this week!
Why? Because once you learn to recognize redundancy in your work, you will be appalled by it!
I've enclosed 3 links below. They are all worth saving. For this Discussion please read the first link and then consider these questions.
1. Is this the first time you've heard of redundancy in writing?
2. Isn't it interesting that some phrases that are labeled redundant are part of our everyday language?
3. Do you see how eliminating redundancy goes hand in hand with concrete words and writing tight? Writing tight, meaning, leave out all the flowery rhetoric that your readers will skip anyway.
I do hope you walk away from this class armed with more writing techniques than you came with.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://home.comcast.net/~garbl/stylemanual/redundant.htm
redundant phrases made stronger

http://users.wirefire.com/tritt/tip4.html
Dialogue tags...

http://www.sfwa.org/writing/chadvce.htm
Advice to save on writing
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