Limited Time Offer

Limited Time Offer

Limited Time Offer! The words splashed across the TV screen. Sam reached for the clicker, fully intending to change the channel when he saw it.

Guaranteed to grow hair! The thought echoed in his mind, whispering of restored youth and vitality, sexual prowess, and 34 inch waist jeans.

Sam listened intently, repeating the sales litany.

"All organic. Made from barley – long known for its natural enzymes; hops – essential oils that rejuvenate the scalp ..."

Sam grabbed the phone. Calling the number on the screen, he placed his order.

"Do you want express delivery" asked the teasing voice on the phone, "for only $12.95 more?"

"Yes," Sam said emphatically, then lowered his voice. He didn't want Charlotte to hear. She'd only make fun of him.

The express package arrived two days later and Sam snuck it into the bathroom. Unwrapping the box, he took out the precious vial and began rubbing in into his scalp.

He went in the bedroom and slid under the covers, not wanting to wake his wife up. Lying there, he rubbed his head.

Is that fuzz I feel? The thought made him sit bolt upright. The bedside lamp flicked on, startling him.

"Sam, what in tarnation are you doing?" she asked. Sniffing the air, she added, "Have you been drinking?"

"Of course not"

"Then what's that smell?" she said, putting on her glasses and staring at him.

"If you must know," he said, "it's my new hair potion! I think it's working already," he added defiantly.

"Are you 'teched?" she laughed. "You better go take a look!"

Clicking on the bathroom light, Sam looked in the mirror. He saw the same bald head that had always been there.

"See," shrilled Charlotte, "I don't think you can get there from here – just like I told ya before! Just a waste of money's all it is."

"More like you can't get hair from beer," Sam muttered and turned off the light.

Notes

Word Count: 300 .

An entry for July 27 "Daily Flash Fiction Challenge"  [13+]
Prompt: Write a story that includes the phrase: I don't think you can get there from here.

For those non-drinkers, the basic ingredients of beer are water, malt (from barley), hops, and yeast.

Thank you for taking time to read my words. I would appreciate it if you took a moment and left a comment. Your reaction, impressions, criticisms, - yes, even praise are all equally welcome. Please, however, keep the groans to yourself .

Ken