The Assignment 7-17-2009

The following is from an Email I recieved, It is not written by me and I have not named the author, I did however want to let everyone know what the actual "assignment" is.

In any case, because you want to learn, here is your assignment: (should you choose to accept it)

This paragraph is boring:

"I walked across the yard to get my horse. He was tethered to the fence by the barn. I wanted to ride out to Possum Lake and knew it would take four hours of riding in the dessert so I packed extra water and made sure I knew where water could be found if we got lost or stranded."


And this is an improvement, don't you think?

"Sauntering across the bare dirt of my yard I found Dusty tethered to the unpainted rickety fence next to the old worn lean-to we called our barn. Since reaching Possum Lake it would be a long four-hour hard ride across the barren landscape I filled my pack with extra water. I also studied the maps I had so I was fully conversant with where to find water in that parched land just in case something went terribly wrong and I ended up lost or worse, stranded."

Now you try re-writing the first paragraph with the following two prompts:

1) The reason you are going is to rescue a damsal in distress -- and you only have about 4 hours to do it.

2) The reason you are going is because you are being sent to Possum Lake to (again) check on the cabin -- which to your mind is nothing but "make due" work given to you because you are 17 and not yet a real "cow boy" - or girl if you like.