The Zombie

Pain, burning and unending: my first sensation as I enter the world.
I can’t see anything; I can’t hear or smell anything: the pain is all I know.
All I am…
Then, far ahead, I sense something… an end to pain. My release.
I move towards it.
The pain stops.
I am allowed a single moment of peace…

The pain consumes me once again.

Pain, Release, Pain, Release

This cycle is my whole existence.
All I can do is feel…
Feel and… think?

Pain, Release

When my mind isn’t dominated by the pain… I can think… But what more is there to think about then that next little moment of peace?

Pain, Release

I feel slow… My mind is slow. With every thought I feel… resistance. All I want to do is get to that next release: a place away from pain…

Pain, Release

I can’t shake the feeling I’m forgetting something. Life wasn’t always like this.
There were sounds, images, emotions….? I don’t know what to make of it.

Pain, Release

There’s a person. A woman…
I remember a woman…
I was worried about her before… Before….?
There was a before… Wasn’t there?

Pain, Release

We spent a lot of time together, her and I ....
Eating, drinking, dancing… talking….
Once upon a time I was in love?
But what does that mean?

Pain, Release


I think something happened to me..
Something very, very bad…
I think it’s happening to everyone.
She’s in danger.
I want to find her... But how?

Pain, Release

I sense her… somewhere…
Far ahead but coming closer.
I direct my movements towards her.
I have to find her.

Pain, Release, Pain, Release

There. She’s not so far away now.
I have to find her.. Have to make sure she
is safe…

Pain, Release?

She’s here!
My body is on fire, screaming at me to take her: to use her for my next release… But, I can’t… I won’t do it.
The pain is overwhelming me now… I try to shout but I can’t speak…
I can’t take her. I won’t take her. She won’t be my release…
Words come to me, words from before, long ago…
“I…love…you…”
Suddenly, the pain ends.
Everything ends.


Had I of been able to witness my death, here’s what I would have seen.
The woman, my wife, is running along the road in a torn red dress with three others following: our neighbours; Justine, William and Emma. All four are armed and scared completely out of their wits. Then there’s me: arms and legs mangled from a car crash, a gaping wound on one side of my head… a walking corpse shambling mindlessly towards them.
“Oh my god, Jack?” My wife yells.
“Jack!”
She looks horrified.
William puts his hand on her shoulder.
“Jack’s dead, Paula. You have to shoot him.”
“There must be something we can do….” She cries.
I stop and turn to face her, swaying a little bit from side to side. I’m very unsteady on my feet.
They all stare at me for second or two…
I growl.
“I’m so sorry, Jack…”
Paula aims her gun at my head and closes her eyes…
“I love you…” I groan.
It’s barely comprehensible, but it’s the best I can do. She doesn’t seem to hear me.
She pulls the trigger…
My brains are splattered across the footpath.
My wife and the other survivors run past my broken body and down the road, frightened animals fighting to stay alive.

In the stillness after my life, before I tumble into the abyss, a single thought crosses my mind:
My life is over, but I am content.