It started with a kiss

Written: 26/6/08. Another rant.


it all started with a kiss
based upon a lie
smitten in an instant
taken by the promise of everything i'd dreamed of
dreams i knew would never come true
taken captive by them when they did
i wasn't ready
i wasn't prepared
like shooting fish in a barrel
take what you want, give a little in return
make it look good
say enough to make it feel real
meet your needs while denying mine
make me feel guilty for even having any
always the perfect excuse to fall back on
insecurity
past pains
woe is you and fuck me
the way it was always meant to be
a relationship based on need
nothing less, nothing more
it's days numbered from the start
no real meaning
no real desire
just an inkling
the merest hint
to keep things rolling along
to keep the dream 'real'
it's easy to fall for when you have nothing to compare it to
i guess you got what you wanted
got what you needed
then your needs got greater
time to move on
time to move up
leave behind what was and find what will be
not that easy for the one left behind
still clinging to the dream
unable to see anything else
wanting only things that can't be
needing something that probably never was
it's a fucked up place to be
it needs fucked up reasoning to get out of
i'm not even sure there is a get out
maybe there doesn't need to be
maybe we never get out of the past
just learn to live with it
learn to live around it
learn to live in spite of it
learn to live