People-Watching vs. Power-Walking

Malls, parks, streets, museums, countrysides, cities, indoors, outdoors... they're all perfect opportunities for that gentle act of People-Watching: of musing, wondering, daydreaming, and generally taking the time to peacefully observe the eccentricities of the people around you.

And then you have that most irritating breed of being, the Power-Walker. Along it marches, taking 2-meter strides that will surely lead it around the world in 80 days by foot. There's a grimace of angry determination (with frown lines deep enough to seem permanent). Arms rotate energetically by its sides in the fashion of a slightly deranged robot. In theory this is all a vaguely interesting experiment- how fast can one possibly walk while refusing to outright run? But it's so painful to watch, let alone actually try out! Imagine being on a plane that's driven faster and faster and faster and faster on the runway but never actually takes off- there's some sense of uncomfortable suspended motion, like you're waiting for release. Please, please just break into a run!

Though it's unpleasant, there's some sense of horrible sadistic enjoyment to be gained from observing such a creature at a distance. But what's truly grueling is to be in the company of one. Because the practiced Power-Walker will relentlessly keep on at its pace (after all if it slows down to anything less than its maximum speed, it's succumbed to the indignity of simply walking). So if you're own Power-Walking Maximum Speed is slightly slower, well, you'll be left behind. The only alternative left is to conduct an excruciatingly awkward 'run-walk dance'- a burst of sprinting, and then you find you've crossed beyond, so you're back to an amble- but now your power-walker crossed you! Whoops, back to a run... the hellish routine goes on. And in your urgency to keep up with your companion, you forget that you look quite an odd sight yourself. So here's the worst part of the whole exercise: you may not be people-watching, but you're certainly being people-watched!

From my blog, http://theadvocateofthedevil.blogspot.com/