So, You Had a Bad Day?

“Are you serious? Now this piece of crap won’t start?”

“Uh, if you are referring to me, I am not a piece of crap.”

“Yiiiii!” Danni tried to unlatch her seatbelt, sure there was a mugger in the back of her car. “Help! Help!”

“Stop screaming, Danni. Come on. How many years have we spent together?”

“Uh. You’re a car. Oh shit. I’ve finally lost it. Oh shit. Could my day get any worse? No. Don’t ask that. That’s just when it does. Oh shit. Ummm….aarrgghhh” Danni tried again, in vein, to unhook her seat belt. She tried the door, but couldn’t get it unlocked.

“Calm down. Let’s talk about our relationship.”

“So, now you’re not only my car but some stalker ex-boyfriend?” What the Hell is going on?

“Look, Danni, I know you’ve had a bad day, okay?

“What would you know about it?” I’m talking to my car now. Great!

“Huh! I haven’t had my oil changed since the beginning of last winter. I sit out in the driveway while your mounds of crap take up all the space in the garage. You’re ticked off when you leave work so you slam my door, gun my engine and hop back and forth from the gas to the brake like a frog on sinking lily pads. I don’t know anything about a bad day? Really?”

Danni looked down at her unkempt nails. She lifted her right left hand to her mouth.

“That’s right. Go ahead and chew your nails. Why don’t you slam your fist on my steering wheel while you’re at it? Cuss and swear at me when I’m sick with carbeur-monia in the winter and can’t start without those cables from the trunk. Even when I’m sick I get you where you’re going, don’t I? But you? You just abuse me. You’re self-centered. That’s what you are – self-centered.”

“I – I’m – I’m sorry,” Danni covered her face with her hands, tears flowing down her cheeks. this is like talking to my dad all over again.

“You know, we’ve been here before, too, Danni. Who, besides me has seen you cry over every boyfriend you ever left you? Who, besides me, sat in the parking lot in the rain with you when you weren’t accepted into that college? Then we went to Dairy Queen for the biggest banana split we could find, remember?”

“I – I do. He he he. I remember that.”

“Yeah, remember, we couldn’t get the cherry juice off of my seat for, like, a month.”

“I know.” Danni dried her eyes on her sleeve.

“There’s some Kleenex ® in the glove box, Dan.”

“Thanks, Alfie.”

“I still can’t believe you named me after your pet bunny!”

“I know, right?” Danni blew her nose and smiled. “You were the best thing to happen to me since that bunny.”

“I was your right of passage, your Dad used to say when he came into the garage.”

“Remember those days when he and I used to work on you together?”

“I do. I was the center of attention. But, that was back when I was new to you.”

“I know.” Danni looked out the grimy driver’s side window. “I never meant for it to get old, Alf.”

“I know you didn’t. It just happens over time. It’s like any relationship.”

“No. No it’s not. You’ve been through so much with me. And now I just take you for granted. I’m so sorry. I don’t know how I can ever make it up to you.”

“How about an oil change?”

“And a wash job?”

“Ooh, Ooh. Can I get one of those smelly trees for my mirror, too?”

“Smelly trees are for Grandma’s Buick. You’re a ’71 Nova. I think a little more class is in order, don’t you?”

“I think I like where this is going… tell me more.”

“I was thinking full detail. Maybe getting that rip in the driver’s seat fixed. Oh, wait, wait. How about those headers we always talked about?”

“Can I get that K&N air filter and the dual exhaust, too?” Alf shuddered. “Well, I know you work hard for your money, though, Danni. So, never mind the exhaust. I’d be perfectly happy with the detail.”

“That’s the thing about you, Alf. You don’t ask much for yourself, and I give even less. Dual exhaust it is. Who knows, I may even be able to swing those mags we talked about. I think next month we can start talking about that paint job, remember the one?”

“Not the one out of Muscle Car from ’89?”

“Definitely that one! I still have the magazine in my closet,” Danni clapped her hands. “You are going to be one cool ride, Alfie!”

“Only because I’m driven by the coolest owner-chick! Vrrrrooooooom.”

Word Count: 795