Subtle Hints

Sara had a problem.  Two years invested in a relationship with Josh, and no ring to show for it.  Her friends had been no help at all, even though they poured useless advice on her at every opportunity. Then a few weeks ago she received a joke e-mail in which men described the problems they had with women.  Part of it said:

“Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one:
Subtle hints don't work.
Strong hints don't work.
Really obvious hints don't work.
Just say it!”

Sara was beginning to think that there might be a grain of truth in these lines.  She had already decided to end the seemingly futile relationship even though she loved Josh, and so with nothing to lose she decided to test those words, one line at a time.

Week 1, “Subtle hints don’t work”

“Josh, we’ve been living together for almost two years.  Where do you want to go in our relationship?”

“Gee, I don’t know Sara.  How about down to Ballard.  We could get a nice condo together down there.”

Week 2, “Strong hints don’t work”

“Josh, my biological clock is ticking, and I’m not getting any younger.”

“I’m getting older just as fast as you, Sara.  You shouldn’t worry so much.”

Week 3, “Real obvious hints don’t work”

“My cousin Michelle is getting married next month.  Can you believe it?  They’ve only been dating for four months.”

“Yeah, four months is way too short.  I don’t see how they could possibly know each other that well.  Do you think she’s pregnant?”

Week 4, “Just say it”

“Josh, I love you, and I want to take our relationship to the next level.  Don’t you want to get married?”

Josh, his mind ninety-nine percent occupied by the newspaper, responded with the remaining one percent.  “Of course, when the right woman comes along.”

“Are you saying I’m not the right woman,” asked Sara, her face turning bright red.

Josh realized at that moment that something was wrong.  He played back the last exchange in his head, and panic clenched at his chest.  “No, no, of course not.  I’m just surprised that you want to get married.  After all, we’ve been together for a couple of years, and we’ve never even discussed it. I had no clue that you felt this way.”

What Sara learned:
Subtlety is lost on guys.  If you need them to understand something important, you have to explain it in simple words a six year old would understand.  And then you need to have them repeat it to be sure they got it.

What Josh learned:
Women are such a pain.

And they lived happily ever after (mostly).

*******

The lines used in this piece are from a priceless email entitled:
“To Women Everywhere from a Man Who's Had Enough”, author unknown.
You can find the whole thing at:
http://www.cartalk.com/content/read-on/2001/10.06.html