Rush to Forever

"Assault"/huntemann                                                                                                                                             Page 1

Prologue
Scene [1]

Rush to Forever

I just didn't believe the stories told,
I chose to live fast, before I grew old.
Smack was whack, and offered to entice,
Unable to measure, it levied a price.
                                                 Renee’s Song

1995/04/07 15:00-16:00
4th floor apartment, 765 Tremont St., Boston, MA
         Renee’s eyes close, her fingers relax and the straw slips away to the floor. The last line was a reflection of her tendency to indulge.

         The feeling in her chest mimics the recovery of an arm lain on too long. Numb, but tingling. It spreads slowly up her neck and down her arms and legs until her whole body is immersed. Her thoughts are in that Neverland between sleep and arousal; friends, family and loves float through her reverie.

         The sensations reach toward crescendo as a mouthful of horseradish.

         Horseradish? ‘I wanted to try some.’

         But Daddy said, ‘Just a little, not so much.’

         He had a whole spoonful on his hotdog. So why shouldn’t I put a whole one on mine too. ‘I want more.’

         Oh, my gosh. I thought the top of my head was coming off.

         She takes a long slow deliberate breath. ‘Swish.’

         This isn’t any weird kind of horseradish. Nooo, ha.

         Unable to move, in the midst of a pleasant nightmare, she can’t decide whether to fight or accept the rush. But, it’s not a bad feeling. Even sex never felt as good as this.

         Ah, sex, yes. Poor Billy. Usually done too soon. Sometimes, though, he could wait. That’s why I liked him. He’d try to wait.

         But this, no waiting required.

         Awareness of the rhythms of her body overtakes her attention. Thumpa... thumpa... thumpa... from her heart and the gentle swish of her breath. An almond aftertaste dominates her mouth.

         Being a girl sucks. Guys can just enjoy their bodies. Breathing, smelling, tasting. They don’t have to put up with the monthly stuff. Midol answers part. Nothing fixes the angst. Why can’t it be just a plumbing problem?

         Adrenalin1 surges and she begins the panic of an elevator ride. Down, down, down, until her rhythms begin to change. The drug interferes with her body’s ability to produce the adrenalin, so the beat loses strength, slowing, thumpa... thumpa..... thumpa........ thumpa........... The swish hesitates, then stops. The beat stutters... held in a vice.

         Confusion invades. Her sense of time shifts. Its order falters.

         ’I’m moving out. We’re not right for each other.’

          ‘But Billy...’

          ‘Why, Mommy?’

         ’Because a girl sits with her knees together...’

         ’Keep three seconds from the car in front of you.’

         How do you know how far three seconds is?...

         A broken newsreel of voices, faces and events replays in her mind. The vice tightens.

         ’Happy birthday to...’

         ’Class, we’ll be reading JD Salinger this term...’

         ’Because a girl sits...’

         In a VW bus, ‘That hurt, Billy...’

         ’Happy birthday to...’

         ’Happy birthday to...’

         Falling emotions shift to a sense of detachment. She feels her body drifting away from her ‘self.’ Even though her eyes are closed, a cozy glow begins to surround her accompanied by the faint sound of rain. The glow brightens to white heat, but there is no warmth. The vice squeezes hard.

         Endorphins2 flood her brain. They supplant the false chemicals from the drug.

         Her high passes the crest and begins a rapid decent.

          ‘Because a girl sits...’

         ’Happy birthday to...’

         The bright starts to fade...

         Only whispers now... rain becomes the echo of a radio off-station...

         Feelings leak away... but the vice is locked.

         ‘Mommy!’ can’t come out.

         Light fading...

         Sounds weaken... and stop...

         Darkness....


Pages: 4
Words: 595

Footnotes
1  Adrenalin - Heart control substance produced by the brain.
2  Endorphins - Natural neural transmitters.