MY SON

Your almost there my son,
laying there in your last bed
as medications struggle to give you peace.
You haven't had this in a long time,
and I’ve shed my pain through half closed eyes.

You never deserved this,
never deserved the massive mess that had no reason to
take you slowly.

Like a monster
it set a fire
that never will pass on like you will.
In the deep of my watery eye
I can see that you won't feel this pain no more.
Even though I faced the time to agree on decisions made for you,
I know that you in some way understand,
because really, who am I to decide this fate fore you?
How could anyone?
But it was out of love for you Kody.

Some reason I feel that you will be the brightest star
that will linger in the night sky,
and I won't remember the pain you, your mother,
and even I felt while you were here.
We will remember in stone how your laughter rang our ears,
Your mouth open so far you can see your baby teeth grow.
We will always stand up for the way you would play with me, your dad,
giggle at the world when I would blow on your tiny belly,
or the sparkling master-piece of your eyes when you just looked at me;
and time and time again, you loved to dance to loud and upbeat techno music,
and wound up so much with energy no-one but me could feel,
when I sang my favorite songs, as you cooed along.

You are my son.
Always will be my son,
and your sister Emily, will too remember the times she felt your warm
arms around her as you comforted her many nights.
She will not forget the time she tried to help feed you by holding your feeding tube.

No sadness or pain can take away the roses in your cheeks,
the dimples in your hands, and small feet that kicked my face on accident once.
You are my son
and your suffering will not take you no more, because this isn't
what love is.

Love is the fact that you exist.
Love is you.
Love is the bed you lay in now.