Beloved Rose

His letter had arrived and quite visibly I was shaken, trembling, clumsily I opened the envelope and pulled out page I knew were bereft with sadness.... sadness and injury to a heart I onced loved and had hurt two years ago.

I began to read his words and as I did those words tore at my heart:





I wept, I died many times that year, I became ill and struggled to find solace in wine and pills. Suicide called out to me as I walked along a sorrowful pier. Madness overwhelmed me, hysteria and mania tangoed together, I exhausted...I wished only to die! Clouds of deep grey hung over my heart and burst forth with a downpour of grief unrelentless.....I wept....and died many times that year.





It was all that he wrote, no goodbye and no name just dried sob marks which let me know that he still loved me, and I so undeserving of his love. I folded the paper several times over and sighed the longest and weariest of sighs. He had survived this torment, this anguish and grief, what sort of man had this experience made him? I knew that I would never know.