I REMEMBER TEXAS

I REMEMBER TEXAS
(October 28th, 1987, USAF Security Policeman Military Working Dog Handler,
Airman First Class Steven Michael Faust, was one of four U.S. Air Force personnel
killed by terrorists outside Clark Air Base in the Philippines)

I remember
I don’t want to be here this day
I want to remember him - how he was
not how he is now.

I don’t want that last image
impaling me, prevailing over the many I have
of his cool cat smile.
I still hear his laughter
feel his slap on the back - as I chuckle
his jokes and antics.

We and our dogs together
cobras, pythons, spiders, leeches, putrid water
young, dedicated, hardcore keepers of the night
in front of safety
the first to engage.

The reports kicked over the radio live and upon my return
the hardened stood frozen, crying, weapons dangling
my gut cramped, my throat burned.

I remember greens, yellows, browns, blues, reds, all felt different
I emptied upon Elephant Grass as the 141 taxied, rolled, nosed up;
in solitary, between the green metal folds
of an M-151.

And asked to be in the buddy picture
placed with him by his closest,
when with flag, he returned

…to Texas.