That nine letter word!

The word pregnancy sends shivers down my spine,
it was what began this 9 month nightmare of mine.
My peaceful lifestyle ceased to exist, my friend,
that horrid nine letter word brought it to an end.

Things were perfect, I would have been happy with alright.
until hormones turned her into a monster overnight!
We wanted a bundle of joy and we got what we wished,
I was ecstatic, overjoyed but she was constantly pissed!

I went out of my way to appease her every waking whim,
rancid cravings, cooking midnight feasts, I couldn't win.
Let me tell you, pregnancy puts your wits to the test,
especially when you stumble blindly into the land of jest.

Think long and hard before you attempt to tease.
No matter what you say, she will not be pleased.
Tell her what she wants to hear in order to survive,
three months to go and I've barely made it out alive.

I could continue on but time has been cut short,
she's hungry again so it's off to the food court.
I part with this advice: forget black and white.
Smile and constantly agree and you'll be alright.

Note: I do solemly swear that in no way at all was this written about my 'pregnant' partner Gothic Angel gone .
I don't need to appease her because I've come to learn that she is always right.